


(I won't let you) Slip Away

by ragnarokwn



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Family Bonding, Fix-It, Fluff and Humor, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Episode: s08e04 Present Tense, Smoak-Queen Family, and Angst because it's an arrow fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-18
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:08:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 63,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21842701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ragnarokwn/pseuds/ragnarokwn
Summary: One single visit from the right person can lead to a lot of stuff —including tears, hugs, multiple existential crisis, the solving of past and present issues and the strangest sibling-bonding time ever.(Or, Felicity meets her adult children and learns a few things that might or might not make everyone’s future better).
Relationships: Connor Hawke/Mia Smoak, Felicity Smoak & Mia Smoak, Oliver Queen & Mia Smoak, Oliver Queen/Felicity Smoak, William Clayton & Felicity Smoak, William Clayton & Mia Smoak, William Clayton & Oliver Queen & Felicity Smoak & Mia Smoak
Comments: 158
Kudos: 404





	1. First (but not really) meetings and Tummy Time

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! 
> 
> So, this whole thing started because I was mad the show never totally explained why William never got in touch with his parents again. Then, the focus changed right after 8x04 aired because I was pissed at their dumb excuse for not calling Felicity. Then, I kinda let it go, but THEN they made Oliver say that thing to John about not wanting Will and Mia stay separated and oh, I was Pissed™. It’s such an ugly and unfair line, terrible, horrible writing, so ooc, 0/10, whatever, I did a whole angry thread about it on Twitter, it was ugly.  
> So, here goes something I wrote at 4 a.m. every day for like months while trying to cope with those feelings.  
> Oh, and to make it worse, I got inspired by the song “Slip Away” by Ruelle, therefore the title. If you don’t know it, I highly recommend you listen to it before reading.
> 
> Enjoy! (Maybe, hopefully, I don’t know).

“So, I was thinking…” Oliver commented while he picked up the last plate from the kitchen table, forcing his voice to sound as casual and light as possible, “we could do some training tonight. Some, uh, patrolling, maybe. Under a more controlled environment.”

He catched sideways the way Mia perked up and smiled inside. She was sitting in an awkward (and probably really uncomfortable) position on the couch, her legs bended under the rest of her body, distractedly watching over William’s shoulder to peek at whatever he was doing on his tablet. 

“Really?” She asked, upbeat.

“Yeah. Like, a diagnostic test— No, not a test. But a–a first session, to see you in action, take a better look at how you’re doing. I mean, not that I’m doubting your abilities, you’re great, just to–to know where to start. So we’re on the same page.”

He rolled his eyes at himself. _Stupid_.

“I would like that,” Mia said, despising his nervousness.

(Because, to be fair, she was just as nervous herself. Training with her _father_ was something she never thought she would do, only in her wildest dreams she pictured herself just _standing_ next to him. And even though she was still struggling with letting her defenses down, letting him in, all she wanted was to make him proud —which he already was).

William looked up from his lap, suddenly interested as well. “Oh! I could intercept the SCPD radio signal, so you two can get there before them and, like, let the bad guys tied up with a little note: ‘from your friendly neighborhood Green Arrows’.”

The two archers shared an amused look, just like the older one used to do with his son when he was smaller and Felicity said something… Felicity-y. 

It warmed his heart the warmth in Mia’s eyes as she shook her head at her brother, and the fact that those kind of details from William’s personality reminded him of _her_.

“Unless that was an exclusive invitation,” he added then, his mood a little flattened but not entirely disappointed. “Which would totally make sense! Just the two of you, bonding. Some good old daughter-father vigilante-ing—”

“William, you can come.”

“Oh, thank god, I already got excited.”

Oliver chuckled. “Of course you can come. What would any Green Arrow do without their—?”

_Overwatch and Unidentified DNA entering the Queen residence._

Archer’s automatic voice made the three of them to their feet —William two seconds after his dad and sister did. The younger man (chronologically speaking, because, technically, they were the same age) threw his father a consternated look. He wasn’t far behind the panic. 

Mia, on the other hand, seemed plain wonderstruck; her eyes, wide open, brightened up in a way neither of her companions had ever seen before. “Is that really—?”

Her question was cut by William pulling her with surprising strength and dragging her into the hall that lead to the bedrooms. Caught off guard, she didn’t struggle much against his grip, but still had to fight the urge to arm-lock him into letting her go. “What the hell, dude?!”

“She doesn’t know us.”

“So what? Everyone else already saw us.”

“Yes, and not only we’ve already risked too much, but _she_ is the only one we have _for sure_ in the future. We _can’t_ risk her getting involved in something potentially dangerous, for her own safety _and_ baby-you’s safety, _thus_ your current present!”

Mia stared at him with narrowed eyes, a half truly deliberating, half ‘I will painfully murder you’ look. After a few seconds, without breaking eye contact, she declared, “That’s bullshit.”

“No, it’s not!”

“William, think. It’s _mom_. This is the woman who secretly worked as Overwatch for years and only got caught when her children were away and safe. She wouldn’t get involved if that put her or child-us in danger. Plus, you _really_ think she doesn’t know we’re here already?”

William opened his mouth to reply, just when the front door finally snapped open. They stood curled up together against the wall in silence, like kids hoping not to be surprised after doing mischief. The girl reached out to hold her brother’s hand almost as a reflex. They held their breath as they heard the door closing with a click and a soft thump before a known voice thundered across the apartment.

“Okay, the security upgrade was a nice touch.”

Oliver couldn’t get himself to move, even to talk, because he swore if he did, she was going to vanish into thin air, like she did every night in his dreams. He had been conflicted every time he wished with every fiber of his being to see her again, the pessimistic part of himself reminding he would have to say goodbye once again, and that would crush him. He wouldn’t be strong enough to get away from her a second time, he thought. But now, seeing her right in front of him, he didn’t care about goodbye. He would deal with separation and the goddamn multiverse later, because she would need him to, trust him to. Having her wonderful presence with him for even a second was worth being crushed as many times as needed. 

Felicity stood chin up, hands on her hips, staring at her husband with an apparently blank expression. Although he could see something very close to rage burning in her eyes. If the circumstances were different and he wasn’t completely frozen at the oh-so damn beautiful sight of his wife, he would be _terrified_ of that look. 

“Hi, honey. How was work?” She asked. Ah, yes, she was using the voice as well. That aggressively suggestive voice that made his ‘you have failed this city’ sound like a Sesame Street quote. “Made any… new friends this week?”

Oliver opened his mouth, only managing to stammer ininteligible words. In the hall, Mia gave William a ‘told-you-so’ look. He shook his head defensively, “That doesn’t necessarily mean she—”

“Our _children_ , Oliver. Our _adult_ children, from the _future_.”

“Okay, _maybe_ she knows.”

The young woman rolled her eyes, then turned her back at him (awkwardly twisting her arm behind her, taking way more trouble than necessary not to let go of his hand) and leaned closer to the door to hear Felicity’s ranting better. She couldn’t see her, but knew without a doubt her mother was pacing the living room (she could hear her quick steps going around) and dramatically waving her hands as she spoke (that she didn’t have proof, but just knew).

“You’d think I’m mad that you didn’t tell me, but no, baby! I’m _deeply_ offended that you actually thought I wouldn’t find out. I mean, I found you on another freaking Earth. I thought we made it clear I would be watching you all the time– That sounded creepy. Is it creepy? I mean, I’m your wife, not a bald man stalking you from his mother’s basement, so…” She narrowed her eyes, thinking. After a few seconds, she shook her head in dismissal and went on, “Doesn’t matter. How long did you think it would take me to see you running around with two strangers that _kinda_ look like us? It literally took me a minute to put two and two together, five minutes of an intense headache and fifty seconds of threatening John to get the truth.”

She paused for a moment.

“But, actually, yeah, I’m also mad that you didn’t tell me.” She closed the distance between them in two long steps and smacked him on the shoulder. “How could you not tell me?!” 

“I— I didn’t want you to bring you into something that we didn’t understand,” Oliver finally managed to choke out.

Felicity’s expression softened, not with the explanation but the sound of his broken voice. “That’s the world’s dumbest argument and if you didn’t have that kicked-puppy face right now, I promise I would punch you again.”

And next thing he knew, he was complete again. Her arms were around his shoulders so tightly, and his arms embraced her instinctively, without even thinking, as though as he was placing the last piece of the easiest puzzle. She ducked her head, awkwardly readjusting so her face was sheltered the crook of his neck, her breath tickling the sensitive skin of his throat and his pulse racing against her lips. Wonderful, wonderful pulse, if you asked her. He buried his nose in her hair, inhaling deeply, and the smell of her –something unique and distinct from the temporal fragrance of coconut and aloe vera– kept him spiraling in a space between fantasy and reality for what seemed like hours. Seconds stopped passing as he breathed her in, he was certain. Did it feel like it, or did Mar Novu actually release him from the restraints of time for the second time in two days? He didn’t know, and couldn’t care less. Whatever it was, he hoped it would keep it going for as long as possible.

“You changed your shampoo,” he whispered with a pasty voice, feeling slightly silly for such a banal thought, but too overwhelmed to care.

“Oh, no, that’s probably baby powder. Last diaper change was specially dramatic.”

He chuckled, melting deeper into the hug. Behind them, Mia had had enough of the silence and –hand still grasping her brother’s– she peeped her head from behind the wall to take a look. 

She gasped softly as she witnessed, for the first time that she could remember, how little and cozy her mom looked in her dad’s arms. She’d always wondered how it was like, the connection Felicity always talked about. As she got older, she’d been convinced she exaggerated, because there was no way two people were shaped –or shaped themselves– to one another like she said; when she left home, she was sure it was all a lie as well, like everything else regarding Oliver. Right now, though… She could see it. She couldn’t have explained it if she tried, but there was _something_. Something in the way none of them seemed to be holding the other, but they were folded together, fused, equally supporting the other’s weight with their own posture; the way her father was swiftly hunched over her, so she doesn’t have to struggle to wrap his shoulders with her arms, and his can enclose the entirety of her torso; the way the contours and hollows of their figures were perfectly aligned, like they were made to be connected like that. _Something_ she remembered believing in as a kid, and never thought she’d see with her own eyes.

Part of herself wondered if she would ever had that something. Or if, maybe, in her incredulity, she’d already had but didn’t realize. For a short instant, her mind wandered to…

She looked back at William, who had moved closer to peek over her shoulder. He had a soft smile on his face, and his voice was shaky when he whispered, “They’re so sappy. I used to think it was gross. I mean, it _really_ was sometimes, but… God, I missed them.”

After a few seconds, the older (ish) couple finally pulled apart, which startled Mia. She stepped back to get out of sight, but William failed to react on. Her elbow hit his ribs and made him stumble against the wall… loudly. 

“Frack!”

They froze in their placed. Back in the living room, Felicity looked at the door, then back at her husband with a questioning expression. Oliver just shrugged, smiling warmly. “Very subtle, kids.”

Instead of a response, they heard a muffled thud followed by a low (but… not that low) fuss.

“Ouch!”

“See what you did?!” 

“Me?!”

“Yeah, you!”

“You screamed!”

“You hit the wall!”

“Because _you_ pushed me!”

“Because _you_ didn’t move!”

“Well, I’m sorry I don’t have super reflexes like you do!”

Oliver sniggered. “We can still hear you, guys.”

The younger man sighed. Well, things had gotten messed up already, hugging his mom one last time wouldn’t kill him… he hoped. He took a step towards the door, but was stopped by a firm grip on his wrist. Mia still looked at him like she might punch him, the furrow between her brows involuntarily mirroring someone else’s stare, but there was an apprehensive doubt in her eyes. All her excitement for seeing her mom seemed suddenly gone. That wasn’t _her_ mom. Not the one she knew, that knew her, that loved her just the way she was, no matter what; not yet. She already had herself under the unconscious pressure of getting her father to like her; with Felicity, she already had an established dynamic. What if…?

Her brother, taking a bold risk by guessing her thoughts, squeezed her hand, and took the fact that she held on to it (for the second time that day, he might cry about it later) as a confirmation.

“It’s okay,” he said softly.

She allowed the vulnerability to stay a bit longer and whispered with a tiny voice, “What if she doesn’t like the way I turned out?”

William shook his head vehemently. “Not a chance.”

The warmth and sheer conviction in his voice were enough to lift her confidence up to its previous range, leading back to a childish enthusiasm. With that new resolution and his hand still clutched to hers, she stepped out.

Nothing could prepare Felicity for what came next. She first thought it couldn’t get any more thrilling than seeing those two people in the buker footage for the first time and just _knowing_. Then, the confirmation from Diggle proved her wrong: there couldn’t possibly be anything more thrilling and shocking and _utterly_ insane than being told that, yes, those two people in the bunker footage were, in fact, her adult children from the future. She couldn’t be any more astonished. But right now, as those two people from the bunker footage walked slowly from the hall and stood just a few feet from her… That was a whole new level of being completely wrong.

“Oh. Hi,” was the only thing that came out of her mouth. 

She only managed to stare at them for a short instant and take in a few details —her eyes, his caring smile, their joint hands— before she was struck by her _daughter’s_ voice, and half a second later, her body.

“Mom,” Mia gasped, and flung herself to her. Her face brightened up as though as she had seen a shooting star for the first time.

(Oliver wondered, for a second, if that was really her expression when she did. Bloomfield’s night sky was excellent for stargazing. It was one of their favorite activities before he left).

Felicity’s arms and heart reacted before her mind understood what was happening and took the young woman into her embrace as soon as they collided. It felt… _right_ , holding her like that. When she held Mia for the first time, after she was born, that feeling didn’t completely unfurl right away. Like with William, it leaked into her soul, slow and unnoticed from the moment they met, and dripped second by second, day by day, until her heart was so full of it that she couldn’t possibly handle any more (yet it kept dripping, and would continue every single day of her life). Right now, though, it was surprisingly automatic. 

“Oh, my god. Mia…” She whispered once it really, truly hit her. “This is… Oh, my god. You’re really Mia. As in, _Mia_ -Mia. _My daughter_ Mia. The baby that puked on my shoulder half an hour ago, _that_ Mia.”

The girl laughed, and Felicity swore it was the same songful giggle her baby-self let out when she was tickled. She blinked the tears away (vainly, to be honest) as Mia stepped back, to take a better look at her face.

“You are so beautiful,” she stated in awe, tenderly brushing a lock of hair off her face. “I mean, I knew you would be, because you are– _were_ already beautiful as a baby, but, you know, all babies are kinda cute. Not that it matters, because I’d love you anyway, but…”

“Yeah, mom, I get it,” Mia rolled her eyes with a smile.

“Oh, _that_ was your dad’s. I knew you couldn’t be all me.”

“Just wait until she frowns.”

The younger woman squinted in half-hearted annoyment, and turned to aim the look at William – _grownup_ William, for goodness sake. Then she grinned and tilted her head towards their mom, like urging him to get closer. After a few seconds, he obeyed her tacit command.

Felicity scrutinized him, carefully taking in the familiar yet so unknown face, linking those juvenile features she said goodbye to months ago to these full adult ones she was seeing in front of her. “I can’t believe you dared to get more handsome.”

He chuckled and leaned down to hug her tightly. “Oh, and _taller_. I’m sorry, I must sound like such a superficial bitch— Don’t say that word.”

“Mom, we’re _adults_ ,” Mia said.

“No, you’re my babies, and you are just _so_ beautiful. I can’t believe we got so lucky to have the most gorgeous kids.”

Trying to sound proud instead of near to a heart failure, Oliver babbled, “They’re also very much talented.”

“Yeah, so I saw. I—”

A short, raspy whimper got everyone’s attention and a variety of reactions: Felicity didn’t seem alarmed at all; Mia flinched violently, like the sound and the previously unnoticed car seat on the coffee table electrocuted her; William hadn’t seen it, either, but he looked more curious than scared; Oliver, who had been throwing furtive looks but didn’t want to disturb the snoozing infant, reached in its direction immediately, but hesitated mid-motion.

“Maybe you should…” he said to his wife, conflicted. “She might not remember me, I don’t want to scare her.”

“Oh, don’t be silly, you weren’t gone that long.”

She walked to the table and unfastened the seat belt, picking the baby up; the fussing stopped immediately. Mia – _big_ Mia– looked at them with wide eyes, outraged with the fact that she was the only one freaked out at the moment. 

“Uh, isn’t this, like, against all rules of time-travel? Cosmic order? Paradoxes, planet going ‘boom’? Pauli exclusion principle and stuff?”

Her brother coughed, “Ahem, nerd.”

Felicity was slightly surprised for a second, but then remembered, she _was_ raised by her. She looked at the kid in her arms, then back at the woman.

“Well, technically, the exclusion principle deals with the electrons in a single atom, but it doesn’t really say anything about the ones nearby,” she explained cheerfully. “Meaning that, while the electrons in _one_ atom can’t be in the same state, the electrons in the atom next to that one atom _can_. Theoretically, of course.”

“Also, the cells in your body are constantly dying and being replaced. So, yeah, your genetic configuration is the same, but your matter is not actually the same as baby-yours… physically speaking,” William added.

His mother looked utterly pleased with his input. “Yeah, that’s right. I mean, cosmically, I guess it _should_ cause some unbalance, but it had already happened by now if the aberration was that bad.”

Oliver scratched the back of his neck and sighed, somewhere in between faintness and fascination. “Jesus, there’s two of them.”

Felicity ignored him and went on, “ _Plus_ , if the Flash is still happily living his life after everything he’s done, then _I_ can have my daughter twice at the same time. Let the time-god-whatever come for me, if he dares.”

Chuckles bursted in the room at unison, not because anyone thought it was funny, but because they knew she was serious. Felicity Smoak would one hundred percent fight any cosmic creature that messed with her and her family —and would most likely win.

That business far behind, the woman looked at baby Mia, who wasn’t nearly interested on the quantum repercussions of meeting her future self as she was on the way her mother’s face screwed into different expressions as she talked.

“Okay, don’t get too cozy here, little missy, it’s Daddy’s turn.”

In two swift movements, she transferred her little body to her husband’s arms. Oliver, although a little unsettled at first, quickly adapted his body and posture to cradle his daughter comfortably, and the most sickly sweet smile was drawn on his face.

“Hi, sweetheart,” he cooed, and his older children were momentarily gaped. “Hi, baby girl.”

“Oh! You should try your Green Arrow voice,” Felicity suggested. 

When she was pregnant, Oliver and her frantically searched and read all there was to know about babies before and after birth. Fun-facting battles were a common game before going to sleep. That was how he found out that not only newborns react to words and sounds that were repeated daily throughout the pregnancy, but that deeper voices are easier to make out from inside the womb than high-pitched ones. So, ever since, he had been jokingly talking to her with his characteristically hoarse voice. And turned out, their baby _totally_ got the joke, because once she was born, she had this tendency to direct her sight –and eventually head– to him when he used that voice, occasionally blessing him with little smiles and sometimes even a gleeful squeal. Which was a total win with her, because although she wasn’t a serious baby, she was a tough crowd: it wasn’t easy to make her laugh at will.

(Naturally, Felicity was the exception. Oh, Mia was a total mama’s girl, and a simple stare from her would make her giggle. Oliver said it was because she was a being of light, and her aura just effortlessly spreaded happiness; she argued that their daughter just inherited his soft spot for her.)

To his delight, he still had it. After a throaty yet ever soft, “Mia Smoak-Queen,” the baby’s focus shifted completely to him, a smile barely starting to curve her tiny lips, “you have _not_ failed this city.” 

And she bursted into a melodic chortle that made her dad’s heart go completely _whoosh_ and his eyes shine with tears of pure adoration. 

“Yup, that’s him,” Felicity teased, looking the the pair fondly. “The grumpy, cold-blooded Vigilante. Melting into a big puddle of goo because his kid _giggled_.”

William snorted in amusement, his initial shock mostly gone. His dad was always very affectionate with him, it shouldn’t have surprised him that he was like that with his baby girl.

(Not because of any gender normative attitude, he knew he wasn’t like that. Merely because of the age and trust differences; he probably would’ve been exactly the same with him, had they known each other since he was smaller). 

Mia, though, continued to look slightly disturbed. Partly because of the obvious: that was _her_ in Oliver’s arms, and it was… a little bit too much to handle. But also, the fact that she hadn’t had the chance to see her father like this –like a real dad. Surely, she knew he _was_ her dad, and despite her harsh words the day before, she really did feel him as such, but it was different. That was her baby-self, he wouldn’t act as sweet and genuinely loving as he did with her older-self, right? And she didn’t want him to… right?

Her rail of thoughts was interrupted – _thank god_ – by William, stepping closer to their father to take a better look at the infant. 

“Oh, my god, you were _so_ cute,” he exclaimed, turning at her with a playful smile. “Wh—“

“If you say ‘what happened to you’, William, I swear…”

He held his arms up in surrender. Felicity, a little tearful with the adorable sibling exchange, cleared up her throat and said, “Great, so, while you catch up with this little cutie, and I’ll take these little cuties over there for some mom-time, alright?”

“Sure,” Oliver didn’t take his eyes away from the baby as he talked. “Any new tricks I should know about?”

His wife thought for a second. “Well, she doesn’t get bored so quickly lately when you make her stand, so there’s that. Oh! And feet, she loves sucking her feet, it’s really cute.”

“Huh. You still into that?” William asked his sister in a whisper. She prodded him. “Ouch. Yeah, I deserved it.”

Their sight followed the older archer as he walked to the sofa and gently sat down, never for a single heartbeat breaking eye contact with his younger daughter and whispering soft words, as though as he was trying to hypnotize her or –and this was more likely– was being hypnotized by her.

Felicity sighed, a bit spellbound herself. With a shake of her head, she switched her focus back to her other babies. She took one of the breakfast bar stools and dragged it into the kitchen, that way she was facing Mia and William as they sat on the other side of the table, and she could still have visuals of the pair on the living room. 

The kids peeked over their shoulders one last time, watching their father carefully picking baby-Mia up from under her armpits and holding her upright on his lap; she beared her weight with her knees straight for a few seconds, but then found more fun on stomping on Oliver’s legs, almost jumping on her own. The man grinned in delight, as if it was himself who was being bounced and having the best time of his life (which, to be fair, was kinda true).

“He _really_ loves me, huh?” Mia remarked, smiling softly.

Her mother looked baffled at the surprise in her voice. “Of course he does. Didn’t I… tell you that? As you grew up?”

“Oh, no, yeah, you did. Like, _all the time_ , it was pretty annoying sometimes.” She paused for a second, trying to find a short way to explain her thoughts to her mother without crushing her soul like a grape. 

_He left_ , the most stubborn part of her wanted to say. _He left you, he left me, he left William. If he loved us this much, then, why? How could he?_

But deep down, she knew the answer, she understood… kind of. Well, she was working on it, and she didn’t want to spend the time with her mom going through it again, as she did so many times before. So, when she finally didn’t come up with anything good, she simplified it to, “I, uh, I’m sort of… still not out of my rebellious phase, I don’t fully believe anything anyone says.”

William let out a derisive cough, pointlessly trying not to laugh. She resisted the urge to hit his arm, keeping her expression as blank as possible while holding Felicity’s inquiring stare. At the end, her brother took pity for her.

“To be fair, it _is_ kinda weird, seeing him in this baby mood,” he interceded, amusement still tinting his voice. “I mean, not that he wasn’t sweet with me, but… He was not that… _cloying_.” 

“Oh, trust me, he would’ve been like _that_ , but he was scared that would make you uncomfortable.”

“Really?”

“Uh-huh. It was kinda funny, seeing him trying not to go full annoyingly-caring-dad on you.” She didn’t miss the brief glance he gave to Mia, who looked at him sideways and sifted awkwardly in her seat.

“Yeah, he does that a lot, apparently,” he commended, quiet and suggestively. 

_Oh._ So, she didn’t completely misunderstood the tension in the bunker footage. She pondered whether she should go there or not, but given how distressed her daughter looked, she decided to let it pass.

“Hmm. Well, you should’ve seen it after you called him ‘dad’ for the first time, he wouldn’t stop smiling and spent _all night_ talking about it.”

The man smiled softly. “Yeah, I guess I wasn’t very affectionate back then. I’m still kinda not, but that’s because… uh, other reasons.”

And there it was again: the mournful tone being cut by evasive excuses. She tried to change the mood.

“So, I… Wow, I don’t even know where to start, this is… a complete new territory for me. I mean, time travel is not nearly the craziest thing I’ve dealt with, it’s just… You’re my _children_ , you know? But you’re also, like, total strangers...” She closed her eyes with regret, pausing to let her brain catch up with her frantic mouth. “That came out wrong. I didn’t—”

“It’s okay, mom,” Mia said softly.

“Okay. Uh, well…” Her voice lightened as a new idea crossed her mind. “You two are grownups, you’re attractive— Sorry, I just keep bringing that up, but you _are_ , I feel like it’s my job as a mom to say it. Anyway, is there a special someone in your lives? Girlfriend, boyfriend, partner?”

“No,” they replied at unison. William squinted and looked at his sister, who was too focused on staring at her hands and avoiding eye contact.

“Well, as for _me_ ,” he said, way too eagerly, “I’m the _worst_ at keeping relationships, so, no.”

“I see. Any… honorable mention?”

“Uh… Okay, the last one actually sucked. The one before him…” He reflected for a second, “Well, he had… a nice personality, I guess. I’m gay, by the way.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. Huh. I just realized I never really came out to you, officially. You –future you, I mean– were so chill and natural about it, I didn’t really notice.”

“Well, it _is_ natural. I guess there was no reason to make it a big deal… Unless you want me to, right now, I could—”

“Oh, no, that’s perfect. Also… I know you knew.”

“What? No, I didn’t—” He gave her a look. “Yeah, I knew.”

He chuckled. “Anyway. My love life isn’t exactly the greatest thing. I never really got to… bond, with someone. Not really. You know, trust issues, they can—“

He froze mid-sentence, and Felicity’s mood flattened. Obviously, that specific topic would _not_ work out to make a nice conversation. But, yet again, from the little she knew about her kids’ future, “nice” was way beyond optimism, bordering naivety. 

“Trust issues,” she repeated slowly, savoring the bitterness of the words. “Ah, I’ll probably regret this, and I _know_ I shouldn’t really ask, but I– I need to know. Dig didn’t tell me the whole story, but what I got… wasn’t very optimistic.”

Of the two, the man looked the saddest. “No… It’s not great.”

“Understatement.”

“ _Mia._ ”

“Sorry.”

“No, that’s fine,” Felicity encouraged her daughter’s honesty, trying not to sound too wobbly. “It’s okay. No need to sugarcoat it. Um… Okay. So, you two didn’t… grow up together.”

“No. I– uh, I only found out about Mia when I came back to the city… a few months ago.”

“And I found a picture of you and him once, but I never asked who he was, because I got mad at you for lying and left home.”

William gave Mia another another reproachful glance.

“What? That’s what happened!”

“Tact, sis. Have some _tact_.”

“Wait, you– you didn’t even know about each other?” 

They shook their heads.

“So, that– that means the two of us,” she looked at her son, “didn’t stayed in touch. After your dad… died.”

A deep, heavy sigh was more than enough to confirm it —not only the fact that she would spend the rest of her life without her husband, which itself was painful enough, but also without her _son_. 

“What’s the last time we—?” Her voice broke, and she tried to cover it clearing her throat. “What’s the last time we see each other?”

She didn’t think it was possible for her heart to tear even more, but William’s expression once again proved her wrong.

 _Wrong._ All of that was just _so wrong._

“We– we already did. I… After I left with my grandparents, I never… heard from you or dad again. And then...”

_How did it come to this?_

“That’s— No. That doesn’t make sense. No, we— we called. I’ve called, I— I thought you— You didn’t want to…” she looked away.

No matter how hard she tried to focus, she ended up losing herself in her thoughts, slipping into the deepest part of her mind, away from her children.

She searched, remembered, looked into every mental impression she had of the last updates. The last hurried voice telling her everything was fine. The last “I’ll tell him you called”. The last disconnect tone ringing in her hears. The last time she told an unsuspecting Mia how much she missed her brother. The last time she convinced herself it was better like that anyway, that he was safer without her. And finally, as she heard her _adult_ son’s voice but didn’t fully register it, she buried herself in the memory of the last time she saw him —the last time she would see him in years.

She couldn’t reach the details, she realized in horror. She didn’t know, didn’t know she would have to. If she had, she would have payed more attention. Would’ve held him tighter, longer. Would’ve looked more carefully at him; his sweet eyes, the last glimpse of his childish face, his bittersweet smile.

_Felicity._

What was the last thing she’d said? Oh, she hoped that it was how much she loved him. Because she did say it, didn’t she? She must have. But she couldn’t remember. She just couldn’t remember, and part of her was convinced it was because she didn’t say it. How could she not say it? Sure, it wasn’t supposed to be the last time, but still, she should have. What was the last thing he said to her?

_Felicity!_

No, that wasn’t it. He said he would miss her, she was fairly sure. He was hugging her, and she said she’d miss him —was that really the last thing she said? _Please_ , don’t let it be the last thing she said— and he said it back. And then he let go. And she stepped away. And her phone rang. And—

“ _Mom!_ ”

She looked up, back to the present —was it?—, where a way taller William held her by the arms across the counter, an _adult_ Mia next to him looked at her with concern, and her husband pretended not to hear while he bounced _baby_ Mia on his knees. And, as if that wasn’t overwhelming enough, _did he just call her “mom”?_

“Mom, what is it?” Oh, and he did it again. Just like that, so effortlessly, so naturally. 

_Say something_ , she thought to herself, _anything_. “You— you didn’t get the coats… and the hat, did you?”

 _Okay, not that!_

William looked even more puzzled. Mia seemed to had figured it out, but was conflicted on whether she should leave them alone to talk or stay. She opted for the latter, merely because she couldn’t nor wanted to stay away from her mom (and because family drama was a way less uncomfortable situation than looking at your father baby-talking to your younger self). 

“I don’t understand,” William confessed. 

“We– we talked to your grandparents a few times,” Felicity explained, unsure. “They said you didn’t want to talk to us. That it was easier for you to just, uh, cut off contact for a while.”

“They– What?”

“Yeah, we– we wanted to respect that. We did. And I will continue to, apparently.”

“But that’s just— that doesn’t make any sense. There’s no way you– _future_ you wouldn’t find out eventually. Why not contact me then?”

“I guess it was too late,” she ventured. “Maybe I assumed you would hate me anyway. Or maybe I just didn’t want to know. Maybe I took their word and just... God, William, I’m so sorry.”

“No, mom, this isn’t right. I confronted you, in the future. I said things– Why wouldn’t you say something?”

Felicity opened her mouth, then closed it. She didn’t seem to have an answer.

“What would’ve been the point?” Mia interceded for her mother, in a voice that William had never heard before. “It wouldn’t have changed anything. You already resented her, and dad, why make you hate your grandparents as well?”

“H-how do you know that?”

She shrugged. “I don’t. But that’s a really ‘mom’ thing to do.”

Silence fell again, and the girl could all but see their minds racing. Her brother was immersed in his memories, probably, still trying to make sense to what was happening, had happened and would happen. Her mom was _definitely_ drowning herself in guilt, like she knew she had done her entire life. 

She touched the back of William’s hand (she had been doing that _a lot_ that day, but this time it was conscious and not out of reflex), giving it an encouraging squeeze, and then did the same thing with Felicity. It worked to get to him: his face softened and he twisted his wrist to hold her hand back. With her, she only got a sad smirk.

Frustration was about to fully turn into resignation when what once she would’ve considered the most irrelevant flashback hit her.

“Ohh.” she exclaimed in realization. William arched an eyebrow. “ _Now_ it makes sense.”

By some sort of miracle (a.k.a. pure curiosity), that was enough to get her mother’s attention out of the darkness. “What?”

“When I– uh, when I left home, you wouldn’t stop calling. No matter how many times I changed my number, even when I didn’t _have_ a phone, you _always_ called. The first few weeks –and I don’t feel proud about this– I just didn’t answer. I knew you knew I was okay, so I thought you would just… get bored, you know? But you _kept_ calling, it was _so_ annoying at the time.” She chuckled lightly. “One day, I got enough and I texted you. I said like, ‘can’t you tell I don’t wanna talk to you?’ And you said, ‘I won’t believe it until I hear it’.”

William’s heart dropped, along with a single tear that rolled down his face.

“I thought it was stupid back then, because I _knew_ that you were watching me all the time and that you knew I was ignoring you, but now… now I get it. And I’m really sorry.”

Her mother shook her head with a sympathetic look that Mia knew meant ‘don’t be, it was not your fault’. The girl sighed, then added with a smirk, “After that, I called just to tell you I didn’t wanna talk to you… But _of course_ that didn’t happen and we spent _hours_ talking on the phone _._ ”

The older woman choked on a half-laugh, half-sob, and cradled his head on her hands. “God, I’m so sorry. I told to myself I would keep it together, but, surprise, I failed on that, too.”

William rounded the bar to stand next to her, laying an arm on her shoulders and resting his temple on the top of her head. With a silent glance, he called his sister, and she bounced off her seat and joined him in the hug, sandwiching their mom between them. Felicity uncovered her face, reaching back to hold them as well.

“Hey,” Will muttered softly. “Mom, whatever choice you made in the past– future… Whatever time it is. Whatever you do, it’s fine, okay? You did your best. I don’t — _won’t_ blame you, for anything. All you’ve ever done is to protect us, I know that. We both do, right?”

Mia bobbed her head. “Yeah, Mom. And, even after everything, we’re not _that_ bad, right? I mean, you took care of me on your own, you protected me _and_ made sure I could protect myself. And him! Look at him, he’s a genius and the CEO of one of the greatest tech companies. Did you know that?”

Felicity sniffled. “Really?”

“Oh, yeah!” Her son replied happily, “I–I went into tech because of you, even after what happened, and I funded my own company. I literally couldn’t have done that without, I mean, you were my biggest investor. I didn’t know at the time, of course, but you were always there. Taking care of me from distance.”

“You _always_ took care of us. I have no idea how, but you made sure we were safe, like, all the time. Even when you were _dead_.”

“Oh, so I died?”

“No! Not literally– I mean, right now, maybe. I’m not sure, I don’t think so? You went to—”

“ _Mia_ , I don’t think that’s—.”

“Relevant, right. You didn’t die, you were captured by some assholes that were trying to blow up the city. They faked your dead, it was messy. _The point is_ , somehow, you made a whole plan so William and I met before they got to you. You could’ve actually been killed back then, and you still made sure we would had each other if you did.”

Their cuddle was suddenly broken, as the man jumped away to rummage into his pockets. Felicity puckered her brows. “Where, where is— Here!”

He grinned, victoriously holding up something in his hand. It took her a couple of blinks to focus her eyes and recognize what it was; when she did, her sight was blurred with tears again.

“You kept it,” she whispered, taken the Hōzen from his hand. It was worn out, the leather darker than she remembered, and the edges slightly torn where it had been opened.

William nodded. “I tried to get rid of it, a couple times. But I couldn’t. And god, I am so glad I didn’t, because _this_ is what lead me to Mia. You had no reason to believe I still had it, but you took your chances, and it took me to her. This— _you_ , gave me everything I have right now. The most _important_ thing I‘ve had.”

A light blush painted Mia’s cheeks and she subtly tucked her chin into her chest, making herself small so her _dumb_ brother wouldn’t notice. Felicity gave the arrowhead stone back to him and stood up to embrace both of them properly. “I love you two, _so much_.”

“We know, mom. And we love you, too.”

“ _So_ much, ma.”

Her hands cupped her children’s heads closer to her body, fingers softly brushing down their hair —or, in Mia’s case, tangling into her curls. They stood there, cuddled into each other, fused into one single individual for a long yet insufficient moment. Loving. Hurting. Healing.

Hoping.

With a sigh, Felicity pulled apart. “I guess I should… get going. I promised John I wouldn’t stay very long here, just in case.”

“Oh. Well…” William looked across the room, where his father had Mia lying on his knees and gently holding her little legs up so she would see the rainbow-colored socks that covered her feet. “Five more minutes wouldn’t kill him, right?”

“Honestly? I’m not really sure at this point.”

He chuckled and walked to the couch. Oliver looked up and arched an inquisitive brow at him.

“Hey, why don’t I watch this little one,” William said, taking the baby from Oliver’s lap with gentle and surprisingly steady hands, “so you two get some time to talk?”

Baby-Mia seemed a little doubtful at first, and looked back at her dad’s known face with a pout. She let out a tiny whimper, but just when she was about to really break into tears, William’s voice distracted her, “Hello, Mia! Hi, little sis! You have no idea who I am, do you? Oh, no, of course you don’t. But you will, one day you’ll punch me in the face. Yes, you will.”

“You look like an idiot,” adult-Mia said.

He looked at her for just a few seconds with a fond smile, then back at her baby-self. “Yes, I do, but I got your attention. Didn’t I, way-less-annoying-Mia?”

“Ugh, don’t use the same pronouns, we’re _technically_ two different individuals, it’s confusing.”

Her brother didn’t look at her this time. Instead, he shifted the infant from where she was leaning against his chest and swung her up and down smoothly in front of his head, twisting his face into an exaggerated grin when she reached the highest point. After a few bounces, little Mia started shaking her legs vigorously as she chortled. “See? She likes me!”

Big Mia scoffed condescendingly, but didn’t bother to hide her smile. “Well, that makes one version of us.”

A strangled sound made them turn to their parents; Felicity was covering her mouth with a hand, as if for keeping her imminent sobs from letting out. Oliver wasn’t so far behind.

“I thought–“ he started, but his voice came out squeaky. He cleared his throat and tried again, “I thought you didn’t like kids.”

“I never said _that_. I’m great with kids, they love me. I just don’t want them to raise myself.”

“Oh, so I’m not being a grandma in the future?” Felicity pouted. 

“Nope. Sorry. You’ll have to search elsewhere.” He pointed at his adult sister. “It’ll be easier with her, since she—“

“William, I swear…”

“Oh, so you _do_ have somebody!”

“I don’t!”

“Tell that to Connor.”

“I’m gonna kill you!”

“ _Connor_?” Oliver’s face turned white. “Dig’s son Connor?”

Felicity widened her eyes in surprise, “Dig’s _what_ Connor?! Oh, wait, the one from— John didn’t— _What_? _”_

Her husband turned to her to explain, looking slightly about to pass out. Mia could relate to his feeling.

“I— Can we _not_ do this right now? I’m a _baby_!” She pointed at the infant, who seemed very entertained with everyone’s high-pitched voices and funny faces.

“Yes, please, let’s not,” begged Oliver. He thought he would never get to see the day his baby girl had a significant other, and even if he did, he thought he would have _years_ to prepare for it. 

William, as much as he was enjoying the situation, propped the infant against his hip with ease and grabbed her adult counterpart by the shoulder. “Okay, yeah. So, I’ll take care of these two and make it up for not babysitting all these years, and you two go do whatever you want to do.” He considered his words for a second. “Actually, not _whatever_. If you could keep it PG, that would be great. I mean, _she_ won’t get traumatized or anything, but _we_ might, so—“

Mia smacked the back of his head. 

“Ouch!”

“When you’re not holding me anymore, I _will_ kill you.”

He rolled his eyes and then walked out, taking the girl(s) with him.

Felicity watched them go, smiling softly as she heard adult-Mia’s complaints about William’s ridiculous baby voice. 

When she looked back at Oliver, he was giving her one of his scolding ‘I know what you’re thinking’ stares. 

She couldn’t help herself but start, “Oliver, I’m—”

“Don’t.”

“—so sorry.” 

He sighed and stepped closer to her, cupping her face with his palms. “This isn’t your fault.”

“But it is! I was supposed to take care of them—”

“Which you did.”

“No! I _didn’t_! They are _miserable_. Everything is just _depressing_. I kept them apart, I made William think we didn’t love him!”

“No, you did _not_ do that. You didn’t know, _we_ didn’t know...”

“That’s not the point, Oliver, it _happened_ —”

“Fe-li-ci-ty.”

“It happened and it’s horrible and it’s my fault—“

Oliver’s voice faltered as he pleaded, “Honey, please.”

She forced herself to stop her spiraling to look at her husband, who was now as full-on crying as she was. “Great, now I broke you, too.”

He shook his head with a weak chuckle and wrapped her tiny figure with his arms, holding her close against his chest and letting her sobs break through him and melt with his own.

After another eternity passed as they held each other, Oliver talked again, “I don’t totally know… what happened in our kid’s future. I wasn’t there, apparently. But what I _do_ know is that, whatever it is, whatever you did then, you did it out of love. You did it to protect them.” He paused. “I made my own decisions to keep my family safe, and you did the same thing. It’s not my place to question that.”

“But—”

“Listen to me. Our children are _fine_. Maybe this isn’t… what we wanted for them. But they’re here, they’re safe, they’re _awesome_. And they have each other now. So, whatever happens now, if things change, if things stay the same... They’re going to be okay. It’s going to be _okay_.”

His words crawled into her soul, slowly and soothingly, like a balm, like his hands caressing her back and arms and lips brushing soft kisses on the top of her head. It was the warmest she’d felt in days, but none of those things could calm the stabbing feeling in the bottom of her stomach. The feeling that was yelling at her that she would eventually have to let go, and it would crush her, and she would have to stay strong, no matter what, because she had to take care of her children. But she would fail. She would fail, and she would be crushed, and her children would suffer. They would suffer, they were already suffering, they had already suffered, and she didn’t know what to do. She had already tried her best once before (apparently, according to them), and things ended up like that… Why would this time be any different? 

_It’s gonna be okay._

What if this was really their ending?

_It’s gonna be okay._

What if she tried again and failed?

_It’s gonna be okay._

But what if she didn’t try at all?

_It’s gonna be okay._

She allowed herself to let out one last sob before nodding strongly against his chest. 

“Yeah. It’s gonna be okay.”

* * *

“You can touch her, you know? She won’t bite you.”

William was laying on the bed, head on a pillow and flexed knees facing the ceiling. Baby Mia was sitting on his stomach, her back and head leaning back on his tights as she carefully examined the old Rubik’s cube he had handed to her. 

“Although, it’s you,” he added teasingly, “so she just might.”

Sitting on the farthest side of the bed, adult Mia looked at them awkwardly.

“No, dude, this is weird enough. I don’t wanna touch… myself.” She cringed at herself as she finished her sentence. 

William grinned. “Yeah, I bet that would make things a little uncomfortable here.”

“You’re disgusting!”

“ _I was just saying_ the world is more likely to combust if you keep staring at her like that.”

“It’s easy for you to say, this isn’t _you_.”

“I wish it was, I would have a _long_ conversation with 13-year-old me.”

“Oh, yeah? What would you say to yourself?”

“I mean, besides that my parents did love me and didn’t purposely abandon me? Well, probably that I shouldn’t date psychology students I meet at bars because they might use me as an example for their final thesis.”

“Jesus.”

“And that emo style never worked, shouldn’t work and will _never_ work. Ever.”

“No way. Please, tell me there are pictures.”

“In the darkest part of my memory, maybe.”

As the woman laughed, her smaller self waved one of her chubby hands, dropping the toy she was holding from William’s torso. She reached out to take it back, looking not at all spooked when she leaned forward too suddenly and almost slid sideways as well.

“Whoa! Easy, little ninja,” said her brother, placing a hand on her little torso to keep her in place and retrieving the cube with the other. 

“Hold her head, jerk!” adult Mia chided, alarmed. 

“Language. And don’t be so dramatic, she just lost balance. She has great head control and she’s sitting almost unsupported, a little wiggle won’t hurt her. I bet she rocks it at tummy time.”

The girl looked at him with a blank face.

“Tummy time,” he repeated cheerly, as if that made it sound any less dumb to her. “It’s… when you put them on their tummies.”

Mia remained unimpressed. “Yeah, I figured that much.”

With a grin, he placed the baby on the mattress, stood up and proceeded to push the bed closer to the wall.

“What are you doing?”

“Making room. It’s better on the floor, the bed is too soft. Put that blanket there, please.”

She gave him a skeptical look, but put the blanket across the floor anyway. William picked the baby up and put her belly-down on it, then laid down next to her in the same position. After a few seconds, baby Mia propped up on her forearms, lifting her head with ease to look at him. “See? She rocks it. Come here, it’s fun.”

Adult Mia rolled her eyes, trying not to let a smile curve her lips and break her annoyed expression. 

“This is stupid,” she said, laying on the other side of the baby.

“No, _this_ helps you develop your muscles.”

“ _I_ don’t need to develop my muscles.”

“You know what I mean.” He paused to look at the kid, that was now waving one of her arms twisting her hips to the other side, until she finally rolled over. “That was great! Good job!”

Big Mia couldn’t help but chuckle at her brother’s enthusiasm. “And you _don’t_ want kids?”

“Uh-uh.”

 _“_ And _why_ do you know so much about them?”

He shrugged, “I just do, sis. Get over it.”

“You’re so weird. You think she can go back to her belly?”

William got up for a second to grab the previously forgotten toy from the bed, then returned and placed it a few inches from the baby’s head. “Hey, Mi-Mi, look.”

She squealed excitedly, and within a few clumsy tries, she managed to push herself to her side and then back on her abdomen. 

The man smiled as he put the cube in front of her so she could reach it more easily. “Of course you can. And here I thought at least I would be more athletic than baby-you.”

They laughed, looking at the little human in some sort of awe. William sighed.

“God, I really wish…” He cut himself, a something close to guilt changing the expression on his face.

“What?” Mia asked.

“Nothing. Forget it, it’s dumb.”

“Come on. You know you can tell me anything,” she said with a genuine caring voice. When she got a soft look from her brother, she added sharply, “Besides, you’re _always_ saying dumb things, so it won’t really make a difference.”

William chuckled, touched nevertheless. After a deep sigh, he went on:

“I just wish I got to know you like this. Seeing you grow up. I mean, I know I wanted a normal life, and I got it… kind of, and I’m sure Mom had her hands full and that life would’ve been super messy but… It would’ve been nice, I guess. Being a real _big_ brother.”

Mia frowned. “But you _are_ my big brother.”

“God, I didn’t mean— Don’t get me wrong! I’m thankful that we met and you’re awesome. But, you know, it’s different. I– I don’t know how to explain it, but you’re an adult, you know? And you have a whole personality that’s still totally unknown to me. I don’t get to… _really_ be there for you. Take care of you. And like, so far it’s like you are the older one, because _you_ have been worrying about me getting myself killed and protecting me and so. I never got to be with you like this, so… freely. You know what I mean?”

Mia looked down, thoughtful. She never considered that, actually. How their sibling dynamic worked, and how it would’ve been had they grown up together. True, she had never felt a physical need of protection from him, rather than the other way around, but she did feel… safe. Or safer, anyway, in a different sense. Wasn’t it obvious? Didn’t he feel the same?

A moment passed when she tried to ask him out loud, but the words didn’t seem to formulate correctly in her mind, less go through her mouth.

“I’m sorry,” she ended up saying instead, not really knowing what she was apologizing for.

William seemed horrified. “What? No. No, Mia, this isn’t– See? I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m an idiot. Listen, don’t be sorry, okay? This isn’t on you, or on Mom or Dad, it’s just… how it happened. It is how it is: we just met, and you have your walls and boundaries, and I have mine, that’s okay. I don’t care that you don’t… hug me or anything, okay? I love you. You _are_ my little sister, no matter what. Forget what I say, it’s just a dumb thought. _I love you_.”

This time, she allowed herself to look at her brother, teary eyes and pink cheeks and a soft smile and the whole _embarrassing_ thing. 

“And I know you love me, too,” was his final matter-of-factly conclusion. After an expectant instant, he added casually, “You don’t have to say it.”

“Good, because I won’t.”

He smiled affectionately and extended an arm to tousle her hair, at which she tried to respond with irritation (and failed). Then, he turned back to her smaller counterpart.

“And this one won’t say it, either, will you?” He tilted his head to look at the baby more directly, opening his eyes theatrically. “Yeah, you might be a cute little marshmallow, but you won’t say it, either, huh? But don’t worry, I know.”

Tiny Mia watched him with interest and grinned, as though as she understood and agreed with what he said. Her attention was snapped away very quickly, though, and returned to the cube in front of her; she looked put out when it was moved barely out of her reach. After a few seconds of angrily –and _adorably_ – trying to summon it back waving a hand, she lifted her chest and arms off the ground and kicked the air, like trying to impulse herself closer to the toy. The adults bursted into shrieks of laughter.

A knock on the door made the three of them look up —the baby with a little more effort than the others. 

“Hey, guys, Mom’s...”

Oliver and Felicity stared down at them with identical puzzled but amused expressions.

“What’s going on here?” The archer asked, the beginning of a smile leaking through his voice. 

Older Mia turned to herself and her brother, pondering the possibility of come up with a smart answer. Not that it would erase the fact that they’re laying face down on the floor together, when there was a perfectly useful bed next to them, or that they were trying so hard to stop their guffaw that they were all but crying, like that was the most hilarious situation they had been caught into. At the end, no sassy reply would make it any less weird, so shrugged it off. 

“Tummy time,” she said simply. William nodded in agreement. 

Their father squinted at them and Mom let out a tiny laugh (or was it a sob?)

“You’re leaving now?” Mia asked, trying not to sound too disappointed. 

“Yes. I wish I didn’t have to, but… Well, you know.”

She nodded and jumped to her feet in two swift movements; her brother followed a little less graciously, then picked baby Mia up, snuggling her close as they walked out of the room.

“Bye-bye, Mia. It was nice to meet you like this, all tiny and chubby and not punching me when I’m being annoying,” he said to her softly. “We haven’t technically _met_ , so you might not know this, but I love you so, _so_ much... I–I guess I don’t know it, either, but anyway. I don’t know when I’ll see you again, but you’ll be with me the whole time, _literally_.”

“Stop it, dork,” adult Mia chuckled.

With a last loud kiss on her little cheek, he placed her on their father’s arms. Oliver held her against his shoulder, cradling her head and body as close to him as he could.

He didn’t do this the last time, he realized. He didn’t think he had the strength to hug her, to have her –knowingly– in his grip for the last time, to inhale her amazing baby essence… and then to let her go forever. He didn’t regret it, but neither was he going to do the same this time.

Maybe it was that it didn’t feel so much as a goodbye this time, because he would still have adult-her after she left. Maybe knowing that she would, somehow, most likely, see him again one day gave him peace.

(Or maybe he just had hope).

So, he snuggled her, tight and gentle, swinging his body to rock her as tears ran down his face.

Felicity looked at her grown-up children with a shaky smile.

“I’ll call,” she told them, holding their hands. “I will be watching you. don’t know if–if I’ll get to visit again, but I’ll keep an eye on you. I don’t care if that makes me weird and overprotective, I will.”

“We count on it,” William laughed. “And we’ll make it easier, keep you posted.”

“I–I’m proud of you. _So_ proud of you. And I love you so much. The future, uh… I don’t know what will happen. If it’s all gonna be the same or not… But whatever it is, I will always, always love you and be proud of you. No matter what. Okay?”

They nodded and threw themselves into her arms.

“And take care of each other, okay? Always. And your dad, take care of him, too. He pretends he can do it all by himself, but that’s B.S. Don’t listen to him. He needs us.”

They nodded again, and Mia was completely serious and solemn as she promised, “I will fight and kill anyone who tries to hurt him, including him if he doesn’t let me.”

“She’s right, she will,” Will pointed out equally serious.

Felicity sobbed and tightened her embrace. When she finally let go, a long, long minute after, she turned to Oliver, who was now securing baby Mia baby in her seat. 

“I know I don’t need to ask, but… keep them safe.”

“I promise.”

He hugged her again, melting into the contact one last time. “I love you so much.”

“I love you, _so_ much.”

 _God_ , one would think saying goodbye would be easier the second time around. Or that, at least, with so much more happening around (i.e. their two children from the _future_ hanging around), they wouldn’t have time to mourn their life together again like this. 

But, ironic as it was, for hurting they had plenty of time.

The moment stretched, seconds either blessing them with more of each other or mocking them for their bad luck, until Felicity couldn’t handle it anymore and pulled apart with a heavy sigh.

“Okay. If I don’t go now, I won’t.”

“I was kinda hoping that would be the case.”

She laughed sadly and placed a quick and soft peck on his lips. Then, she grabbed Mia’s car seat.

“Bye, Mi-Mi,” William whispered eagerly through his tears.

“Bye…, me,” muttered Mia, ducking to touch the baby’s little fingers.

Oliver and the two children stood on the edge of the front door, like sad puppies when their owner left to work.

As they watched her walk away, something came to Mia’s mind all of the sudden, and she seized her brother’s arm. “William. Archer.”

He furrowed questioningly before understanding crossed his face. 

Honestly, she was passionately ready to go against his ‘we’re not supposed to mess with the timeline’ reasoning as soon as she saw his conflicted expression. And, sure, he would be kind of right… Okay, very right. She was no expert, but meddling with time was tricky, that much she knew. Changing things could eventually make things worse, compromise a lot more than their own future. But, come one, how was she supposed to stand still while she could try to avoid—?

“Go,” William urged.

She was baffled for a second. “Really?”

“Yeah, screw it. The future sucks and the timeline’s changing anyway. Let’s Barry-Allen the bitch into something better. Go.”

“Mom, wait!” She called, running after her. The woman stopped and stared, curious. “Alena. She’ll try to sell part of Archer as a software. You _have_ to stop her.”

“I— What? No, Archer is—”

“Alena kept the code.”

“Of course she did.”

“She didn’t mean to, they stole it from her—”

“Wait, who?”

“Eden Corps, they’re gonna use it to control the city and… It’s gonna be awful, mom, you need to—”

“Okay, okay,” she cupped her daughter’s face with her hands, keeping them as steady as she could so she wouldn’t notice the tremor (hint: it didn’t fully work). “I’ll do it. I’ll make things right. I promise.”

Mia nodded, wrapped her shoulders with her arms one last time and then walked back to the apartment.

Felicity’s sight followed the girl until she disappeared, flinching a little bit when the smaller version of that girl sneezed. She looked down at her baby. Her _daughter_ , who was going to become the most amazing young woman, despise all the things she would do wrong. Her _daughter_ , who was going to live her whole life without her dad and brother, locked up in a cold cabin with her and her only.

 _No_ , she reminded herself as she continued her way to the exit. No. Things were already different, they were changing. Things were changing, and her kids had a chance to a different future, even if the uncertainty was just as scary as the future they already knew.

Things were changing, and she had to believe it was for the better.

She wouldn’t let this be the end.


	2. Sons, Daughters and Heirs to the Demon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A decision is made, a new Mary Poppins is born, a family's future is changed forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!  
> First of all, thank you all so much for the nice comments! I wasn't really sure about going on with this idea, but your support really encouraged me. So, that being said, you might regret asking for more, because it's really messy and weird and basically just five long, connected one-shots (although I'm pretty sure it doesn't qualify like such, but whatever).  
> I hope you enjoy it!

“For the last time, baby girl,” Felicity said businesslike, “no matter how hard you stare at the little sloth, it will _not_ go any faster.”

She crouched down in front of the bouncer chair, where Mia watched with deadly concentration at the mobile that was hanging over her head, spinning around at an unbearably slow pace. The little wrinkle between the baby’s eyebrows made her serious expression crack into a smile.

“That is a pretty interesting sloth, though, isn’t it? Yeah. Keep trying, maybe you’ll scare it into speeding up. Oh, you are _so_ cute!”

Perceiving the change in her voice tone and finding it way more interesting than the stuffed animal, her daughter’s attention shifted to her. With a delighted smirk, she fixated her eyes on hers and churned her little hands in her direction, letting out eager gargles. 

“Yes, you are _so cute_ ,” the woman repeated, high-pitched. “You are the cutest baby _ever_! That’s right, you are! Yeah, you— Oh, my god, what have I become?”

She seized her out of the seat and propped her up against her hip as she stood. 

“I really hope talking to you like this really encourages your speech because Mama must look like a crazy person. Does Mama look like a crazy person, Mia?” 

The kid looked at her and cooed a soft, “Mmh.”

“Mm-huh. I think so, too. A veeery crazy person. But you have to like me, because I’m your mom and you’re stuck with me. Until you’re not, and you hate me and leave home…” Her voice flattened as she pronounced those words. “And now your crazy mama made herself sad again. Because of course she did.”

That had been happening a lot those past few days, as her mind kept going _there_ . No matter how much she avoided it, how hard she tried to think about literally anything else, every single one of her thoughts ended up _there_ . Although her conviction and faint optimism had not changed, it still inevitably dragged her into a dark place. She was hopeful, sure, she had to be in order to preserve the last amount of sanity she had left and be a decent mother, but the _ifs_ , the possibility of screwing it all up and that everything she wished for her children was just a naive dream that would never get to be… It haunted her.

 _Ah, so this is why knowing about the future is bad_ , she thought. Or said, she wasn’t sure. Not that it mattered, anyway.

From the way Mia was staring at her, though, it was more likely that she said it. 

“But, hey! You’ll love me anyway!” She brightened up. “I’m pretty sure of that, you told me yourself. Yeah, you’ll love me, won’t you, baby?”

She giggled, and Felicity smiled again. Which lasted around five seconds, before the alarm went off.

Her free hand reached for the nearest object —a golden chandelier— and she tightened the grip on her daughter, who was barely bothered by the noise. After a fleeting moment of panic, the woman realized that the intermittent sound was, in fact, the security system’s dramatic way of saying there was an authorized someone walking to the front entrance (or, as she liked to call it, the _just-in-case-pre-doorbell_ ), and not the actual security breach alert. Jeez, she had to change that goddamn ringtone. 

The beeping stopped when the regular bell rang. Relaxing just a little bit (because, sure, she didn’t think the Ninth Circle would politely knock before going in and killing them, but they _might_ ), she snuggled Mia closer and kissed her head as she took her tablet.

Just when she finished reading the name written on the screen, a voice behind her made her jump again, “Good morning, Felicity.”

It took her a moment to compose herself and put down her improvised weapon. 

“Look at that, sweetheart,” she said to her daughter, “it _is_ a trained assassin.”

With a deep breath, she put the chandelier back on its place and walked to the woman in the living room.

“Nyssa, the fact that I gave you access to the system _does not_ mean that you can just come in like that.”

The brunette looked at her with a blank expression. “The door was open.”

“It was _definitely_ not open. It just recognized you.”

“Should it be able to do such thing?”

“That’s the whole point, yeah. Although now I might have to change it so you don’t give me another heart attack.” 

Nyssa crossed the room and sat in the kitchen island with her usual solemn pose, but also with a naturality that made almost Felicity laugh. 

She contacted the woman a few weeks back, after Oliver left, nearly by accident. In her despair, she tried to reach out to Thea, the only she could think of that loved him as much as she did (besides John, who was also gone) and understand what she was feeling. Satellites, facial recognition, coded numbers and vague messages here and there, and within days she was surprised by Nyssa’s voice on her safest line, saying she had “gotten their directive and demanded to see the face behind this pointless hunt”. She had some trouble trying to let her know who she was (although she could swear she only pretended not to know only to make her say “I’m your husband’s wife”) and explain why she wanted to see her, mostly because she wasn’t really sure herself, but they ended up meeting anyway. Just once, they’d said, just to see a familiar face. But then they met again, this time on Bloomfield. And then again. And Nyssa said she might as well stay in town for a while… Not for her, of course, but because she longed some stability.

And, well, here they are.

“I apologize, I will wait for you to let me in next time.”

“Thank you. Hi, by the way.”

The other woman bowed her head, then furrowed. After sniffling a few times, she scrunched her nose in disgust. “What is that… hideous smell?”

“That would be my breakfast,” Felicity explained.

“And you are trying to poison yourself, why, exactly?”

“‘Cause it’s quicker than starvation. Stop judging me and hold her, okay?”

She offered the baby to Nyssa, who stared at her as though as she was some sort of extraterrestrial creature for a moment before taking her, awkwardly holding her from under her armpits and stretching her arms in front of her. Mia seemed a little put out at first, not having fully incorporated her new holder’s face into her ‘friendly people who do not stop existing after they’re out of sight’ list just yet, but settled pretty quickly. “And hello to you, sister-daughter.”

“Again, the word you’re looking for is _niece_.”

“No, I’m fairly sure it’s sister-daughter.”

Felicity laughed, watching as the other woman shifted the kid to a more comfortable position, an arm around her little body and the other supporting her back. She didn’t break her severe expression until Mia babbled at her excitedly.

“Hi, _habibti_ ,” she cooed softly, bouncing her a little. “Hey. Hi, baby. Hi.”

It was quite an image. Never, in a thousand years, Felicity would have thought Nyssa al Ghul, former member of the freaking League of Assassins, she be in her own home, baby-talking to her daughter, and that she would be anything near to _happy_ with that.

Of course, Nyssa had changed. It surprised Felicity when she first saw her, how different she looked and acted. So relaxed and… Well, normal. After the Pits were destroyed, and she made sure every last member of the League was free from any remaining of its brainwashing, just in case, she finally found some sort of peace. Her mission was over, and she allowed herself to actually live. In two months she discovered more about herself than in her whole life: she despised warm weather, she had a thing for blondes, dogs and romantic comedies annoyed her, but cats and horror movies were great.

She also came to the conclusion that she was awful with children, but babies were okay. So she explained when she was introduced to Mia and completely _adored_ her, as Felicity pointed out she never would’ve pictured her as a kid-person.

“I’m not,” she had said then, looking curiously at the baby in her lap. “Big kids make me nervous. They do not seem to like me. Babies, however, I can handle.”

And she did. Pretty nicely, in fact. She was slightly clumsy and awkward, sure, just like she still had her perfectly ceremonious and formal attitude and way of speaking, but she managed herself better than most. 

“So, how’s house hunting going?” Felicity asked, watching Mia smile as the other woman stuck her tongue out at her.

“I found something. As I am currently unemployed, I thought splitting a rent would be the best choice, so I will be sharing an apartment with a young woman I met a few weeks back. It’s in a quiet complex, about twenty minutes from here.”

“Ooh, roommate. Very cliche, I like it. Is she cute?”

“Oh, no, it will not be like that, I’m not searching for a romance, at the moment.”

“Okay… But _is_ she cute?”

Nyssa smirked. “Yes, she is.”

The blonde giggled like a teenager.

“What about you? What have you been doing?”

“I… saw the future.”

“Interesting. Is it any good?”

Felicity stayed silent for a moment, baffled at the lack of irony in the other woman’s voice. But of course she would think seeing the future was completely normal. Why wouldn’t it be? Just another Friday morning in the mystical land of Nanda Parbat.

(What was even more surprising is that she _wasn’t_ the first person she had seen in the past days that reacted so casually at the affirmation. At least, Alena _did_ think she was messing with her the first time).

“Uh, no, not really. But I’m working on it.”

“Of that I have no doubt. And how is it that you saw the future?”

As Felicity explained in the shortest, less detailed way possible, she got pretty certain that Nyssa wasn’t really as unimpressed as she’d first thought, but holding herself back. Despite her attempt to veil it with nonchalance, the look on her face was fractured, and between its cracks there was a whole universe of doubts and exclamations that she couldn’t let out, for her friend’s saneness. 

When she was done (after exactly two minutes, plus one of babbling), Nyssa said, “Huh. Seems like your children got both of your wild spirits combined. Your hands will be full.”

“Oh, yeah. And, speaking of, now that you’re here… I was wondering if you could do me a little favor.”

“Sure. But first, tell me, what does this prospective future hold for me?”

“Ahh…” Felicity hesitated, pondering the implications of let yet another person know way too much about a future that might not even happen. _Oh, screw it_. “I didn’t specifically ask, but I do know you’ll stay close. Apparently, you’ll teach Mia how to fight.”

“Is that so? Well, I suppose that makes sense. I highly doubt Oliver would have the heart and impartiality to give her a proper training.”

At the heavy silence that followed, Nyssa looked up at her friend. “But that is not why he’s not the one to do it, is it?”

Felicity’s voice was barely audible when she muttered, “No.”

Another pause. A gentle hand rested on the blonde’s shoulder. 

“I’m deeply sorry, Felicity.”

“It’s okay. It’s just a possibility anyway. One that won’t get to be if I have any say in it.”

Nyssa nodded, not in a “whatever you say” manner, but an outright affirmation. If there was anyone on that Earth that could change Oliver Queen’s destiny, that was for sure Felicity Smoak.

She turned back to Mia and held her standing on the table, chubby feet firm against the surface. Her sympathetic voice tone changed to a silky, playful one when she talked to her, “Perhaps we should start your education now, _dabdoub_. What do you say, huh? You would be a martial artist before you could walk.”

Felicity laughed halfheartedly, almost certain that the other woman was not joking. 

“What is it that you wanted to ask me?”

“Uh, I _was_ going to ask you to babysit for a few hours, but now I’m kind of worried you will actually teach my baby how to kill a person while I’m gone.”

Nyssa froze, hands that were previously shaking Mia’s arms stopping mid-motion 

“You want me to watch Mia all by myself?” There was an emotional tremor in her voice that Felicity mistook for fear.

“I mean, if you want to!” She hurried to say. “It’s totally okay if you don’t, I—”

“No, no, I do. I just… I’m honored. That you would entrust me with your daughter’s safety.”

“Oh, it’s not a big deal. I mean, you’re great with her, she likes you. _And_ you can fight. That’s like, the perfect combination for a nanny. You’re like a badass Mary Poppins. She’s—”

“Yes, I have seen the movie. Julie Andrews is gorgeous.”

“Yeah, right? Anyway, of course I would trust you with Mia. Or with anything else, for what matters. You’re… Well, you’re family.”

Funny, how much things changed. Who would’ve thought she would be saying those words to Nyssa al Ghul, member of an organization of freaking killers, a woman that proudly called herself the Heiress of the Demon? Certainly not her. Like, not in a million years.

(Which was a common mistake, considering who she was married to. And who her best friends were. And basically all of her friends. And acquaintances. God, she _really_ needed to stop making assumptions about her potential relationship with weird people).

Felicity waited, prepared to receive an arranged-marriage related comeback, that to her surprise, never came. Instead, she got the most soulful, deep-felt smile. 

“You are my family as well, Felicity,” Nyssa said with a soft voice. “Even though we no longer share a husband.”

 _Yup, there it is_.

“And I will babysit for you.”

“You sure?”

“Of course. It would be a privilege to have some quality time with this precious little critter.”

She swayed Mia up and down gently, making the child giggle. 

“When are you leaving?”

“Easy, Supernanny, don’t kick me out just yet.

He should be going home earlier today, but I don’t wanna get there just when he arrives, so I still have a few hours.”

“Who?”

The woman was momentarily confused. “Oh! Yeah, sorry, I haven’t— William, my son.”

“Oh, did he finally come around?”

“Uh, not really… There was a misunderstanding.”

“What kind of misunderstanding?”

“It’s a long story… No, actually, it’s not: his grandparents are assholes and didn’t tell him we called.”

Nyssa’s expression hardened,“Why would they do that?”

Felicity shrugged. She still didn’t fully know the answer; she had guesses, but she didn’t _understand._ Maybe it was that she knew the impact of their choices that made the Clayton’s decision so cruel, knew how much it will –no, _would have_ affected William. But, honestly, did they really think being _abandoned_ would not hurt a child? Did they really think they were so bad for him that _that_ was better?

 _But you thought the same_ , a little voice in the back of her head reminded her. _You knew, but you didn’t do anything about it._

She sighed. “Maybe they thought they were protecting him. I don’t know.”

“That is just unnecessarily cruel. Shall I obliterate them for you?”

“What? No!”

“Ah, you wish to do it with your own hands, then. I respect that.”

 _“No_. No one— _no one_ _is_ _obliterating anyone_. I’m gonna _talk_ to them.”

Nyssa let out a bored snort. “Have it your way.”

In her arms, Mia started squirming. 

“I think she got bored of me already,” the former assassin commented.

Felicity didn’t move, but narrowed her eyes, scrutinizing the infant’s behavior: she was trying to fit one of her tiny hands inside her mouth as she made cute, guttural smacking noises, eyes wide open. After a few seconds, she concluded, “Nah, she’s just hungry.”

Nyssa muttered a little, “Oh”, before handling the baby to her mother, mentally writing down the hunger cues for her babysitting manual. She watched mindfully as the blonde woman sat on the couch and laid Mia down on her side, her little body resting on her thighs, head and neck on her forearm. Her free hand went to her chest to unbutton her shirt, but then stopped when she noticed her companion’s intense glance.

“Could you… not look like that?” She asked, yet her tone was rather playful.

“Felicity, you must not be ashamed of your body. Specially doing such a natural and beautiful act as nurturing your child.”

“I’m not _ashamed_ , I’m very confident, but you’re _staring_ , that’s kind of intimidating.”

Nyssa smirked, an eyebrow arched teasingly. “Well, it’s not like you have anything I haven’t seen before.”

“Oh, I know,” Felicity winked. “That’s why it’s so intimidating.”

With a soft laugh, she turned her attention back to Mia. The kid latched easily, big green eyes connected to her mother’s and a little hand firmly placed on her chest. If not much about motherhood had felt as magical and natural as everyone said it would right away, nursing did a little bit. Was it because it was really a deep bonding instance, or because it was the only time her zippy baby was quiet enough to have a peaceful one-to-one moment, it was nice. 

A buzzing from her tablet caught their attention —specially Mia’s, who nearly left her meal unfinished to see what was going on.

“Uh-uh, little missy, you mind your own business”, Felicity scolded sweetly, a hand on the nape of her neck holding her in her place. 

Red letters blinked on the screen: “SUBJECT MATCH - CENTRAL CITY SURVEILLANCE SYSTEM”. 

Her heart ached in her chest and her mind drifted once again. She didn’t realize she had left until Nyssa’s voice brought her back.

“You’re quiet.”

“I–I’m feeding my kid.”

“Yes, but that’s not it. Something is bothering you,” she didn’t ask, but subtly urged her to talk with her inquiring voice. “My lucky guess is that it has to do with your tablet device.”

Felicity considered lying again, and the beginning of an excuse came out before she could help it, but something in the other woman’s voice and stare made her stop halfway. 

“I set up an alert for when William got out of school.”

“And why is that distressing?”

“It’s not. It’s just… In the future, I never did this. Going for him, I mean. I don’t know why, but I… didn’t. I left my son, I–I let him believe I didn’t love him. It’s so wrong, I don’t—”

“But you are going to tell him now,” Nyssa interrupted her. “Whatever the future holds for both of you, you _are_ going to him.”

“Yes, but I already _didn’t_. Time is complicated, it still happened the other way, even if now doesn’t. One thing doesn’t change the other, you know what I mean?”

“I… really do not. But, Felicity, whatever you did and you’re fixing now, there must have been a good reason for doing it. I’m sure you did what you thought was best, regardless its consequences.”

“See, but that’s _worse_ . What if there _was_ a reason and I screw up doing this? What if I’m actually putting William in danger? What if—”

“Oh, for heaven's sake, stop!”

It wasn’t a very sensitive way to tell her to shut up, but it was effective.

“I see now why it’s said that seeing the future is bad,” she added, only half jokingly. “Felicity, your kid is going to be fine no matter what. Whether you take an active part of his life or not, you will make sure that he’s okay. He will most certainly question your choices at some point, but he’ll forgive you and love you nevertheless. You’ve seen living proof of that. There is no way to know what will happen if you do things differently.”

Felicity sighed and raised her gaze from Mia, caressing her cheek distractedly. 

“But,” Nyssa concluded, looking at her in the eye, “I strongly believe you were purposefully given a chance to find out.”

Part of her —the deepest, dimmest part— wanted to argue. _Why? Why put this on me? Why everything has to be so hard for my family?_ But there was no point. She had no time for pity. She was useless just wandering around feeling bad for herself. The child going home from school, thinking his parents had abandoned him needed her; the warm bundle of innocence resting on her lap looking up at her with the purest eyes needed her. That was stronger than any darkness that she held inside. Nyssa was right: whatever the reason, whatever cosmic force that found fun on messing with them, it gave her the knowledge to fix things, to do her best to try and give those beautiful souls of hers a brighter life. 

Ah, it had been a while since someone got her lift up so quickly like that. She smiled. “When did you get so good at motivational speeches?”

“Always have been,” Nyssa replied proudly. Then, with a roguish smirk, she added, “You would have noticed, were you not so focused on stealing my husband.”

* * *

That feeling of invincibility and arrant bravery lasted for around half of her journey to Central City. From there, it was replaced with a pitch of anxiety that had her constantly wanting to throw up; she hadn’t been that nauseous since the first months of her pregnancy. This was certainly a whole new take on morning sickness.

 _It’ll be okay_ , she’d thought. _It’s William._

But, turned out, that basic, apparently obvious statement was less and less logical the more she thought about it.

Her relationship with William was the easiest thing she’d ever gotten into. From day one, they just seemed to… connect. Felicity couldn’t explain it, but even the hardest days, it was just effortless. God, she had just met a 20 year older version of him and it felt like they’d spent their whole lives together. 

But this time, she was completely _terrified_. Maybe it was the fact that the outcome of that specifically visit could change their whole future. Or that she was about to deal with a teenager who believed that she abandoned him. Or that she’d have to tell him he had a sister, and she had no idea how he would react. Or all of the above.

Whatever the case, the fear crushed her, and she had to wait in front of the building and take a few deep breaths before ringing.

She forced her greatest sassy smile as the door opened, and William’s grandfather faced her with wide eyes.

“What are you doing here?” the old man asked in panic.

Felicity’s grin didn’t tremble a bit. “It’s great to see you, too, Mr. Clayton.”

“You can’t— How did you find this address?”

“You gave it to us, remember? When you took William and promised to stay in touch, and gave us your address and contact number. Of course, that was a lie, but…”

“This is— You need to go now.”

“Actually, I’d like to see William.”

“He’s not home.”

“Oh, that’s okay. I’ll just wait here until he comes back.”

Mr. Clayton seemed to be about to pass out; he opened his mouth a few times, but nothing but a strangled babble came out. He only seemed to react to his wife’s voice calling him, “Frank? Who is it?”

And just like her spouse, Irene Clayton reacted like an aggressive cat at the sight of Felicity. 

“What are you doing here?” she hissed. The younger woman almost laughed.

“As I was saying to your husband, I came to see Will. But he’s not home, right? So I said I’d just wait for him.”

“He won’t want to see you.”

“Yeah, so you said on the phone… the few times you did pick up. I think I’ll take my chances with him anyway, thank you.”

“No, no. You can’t see him. His father isn’t here, _you_ have no right to—”

“Actually, _I_ do.You see, _I_ was given parental legal rights and responsibility to William as soon as Oliver and I got married. _I_ took full care of him for eight months. _I_ was appointed William’s guardian for a while. Now, you only have full physical custody, not legal, remember? You and Oliver had joint legal custody.You agreed —no, you _legally_ agreed that you’ll get to make all the decisions while he lived with you, while _both of us_ would get regular contact, as flexible as the schedule might be. So, here’s the thing, Ms. Clayton: legally, _I_ could call the cops right now and say you not only are frustrating a visitation order right now, but also violated a custody agreement _and_ kept a child’s whereabouts from his own father for _months_. And then we’d go to court, and I can assure you, you wouldn’t see your grandchild in a very, very long time.”

Felicity felt a guilty delight with the couple’s gaped faces, but was pretty sure “take that, suckers” wasn’t a good thing to say to your son’s grandparents, even mentally.

Irene glanced at her husband, who shrugged dejectedly. Then, grasping at her last shred of defensiveness, she said, “You wouldn’t dare.” 

“Of course I wouldn’t, lady! How could I ever take him away from the people he loves?”

“All we ever wanted was to keep him safe.”

“And I get that, Mr. Clayton. What I will never understand is how you’re capable of causing such pain to someone you love, especially a child. Now, can I please see my son?”

The two last words slipped through her lips naturally before she could give it a second thought. She’d never hidden how she felt about his relationship with William, never felt ashamed of it. She cared for him in a way she never had experienced before, a kind of care she didn’t even know she could feel. She loved him as her own child even before realizing she did. Of course, she was reluctant at first: she was scared he would think she was overstepping, even though they made it clear she was in no way “replacing” Samantha. 

But names and technicalities were never really an issue. They never discussed it openly, not even when they went on protective custody; back then they just… rolled with it. 

(There was this one time, though, that she was pretty sure she heard him say “night, mom” as he closed his bedroom door…)

So, yeah, calling William her son was no big deal to her. She didn’t consider, however, that it might not be the same for his grandparents. Weren’t she so outraged at the moment, she would’ve really felt it for them. She did, she really did understand why that might hurt them. 

Irene jabbed a finger at her.

“No,” she barked, hostility picking its way in between her obvious pain, “you are not his mother. My daughter, my Sammy was, and she always will be. I don’t care what the law says, you can’t just come here and claim you have a right over her son, because you don’t. You’re just a woman, out of thousand, that married the person she slept with. He is barely a father, but you are no one.”

Felicity opened her mouth to reply, somewhere in between empathy and considering breaking her “do not punch old people” rule; but another voice behind the couple mimicked her own anger –and something else– before she could say a word:

“You’re wrong.”

The Claytons barely got to look over their shoulder before William walked past them and stood next to Felicity, who didn’t really know what to do except for looking at him. Because that was _William_ . The one she saw all grown up days ago and thought she wouldn’t see again like this. That was her _boy_.

He was taller, she noticed; he was barely taller than her the last time she saw him (although not as tall as the _actual_ last time she saw him), but now? Now she would _definitely_ had to stretch up and stand on tiptoes when she hugged him. His voice was slightly different, too, deeper. She thought he looked more like Oliver… but maybe it was just the angry face and outright determination in his stance. It pained her heart a little, to see this side of his dad in him: so upset, so betrayed, so ready to fight someone he cared about. He looked so grown up, yet still _so_ small. She wanted to grab him and hold him and tell him everything was fine, but –was she ready to keep making promises that she didn’t know she could keep?

“Felicity means _a lot_ to me,” the boy said, matter-of-factly.

“William, sweetheart, we—”

“Is it true, grandma?“

“We can explain—

“Explain _what_?”

“You weren’t safe with them. They put you in danger and… You didn’t want to talk to them, either, so—

“ _One time_ . I rejected a called _one time_ . That does _not_ mean I wanted them just _gone_.”

“We just– we just wanted what was best for you.”

“How is _that_ the best?” He stammered, almost imperceptibly. His emotional wall barely cracked. “You knew how much it hurt me. You watched me every day as I waited for another call. You saw me _cry_ . You made me think my parents abandoned me, how is _that_ the best?!”

He looked at them, challengingly, waiting for a response that they couldn’t really give him. To their credit, they did look slightly bashed as they fixated their eyes anywhere but their grandchild. Whether it was because they truly regretted felt bad about what they did, or because they had been caught and lost his trust… that was a completely different matter. 

After a moment of silence, Felicity reached out to touch the boy’s wrist, shyly offering some comfort, which he quickly accepted by interlocking their hands. He took a step back, as if for leaving, but stopped mid-movement to face his grandparents again. “And, just so it’s clear… You’re right, Samantha _is_ my mother. But so is Felicity. And if you knew your daughter at all, you’d know she would be really happy that I have her.”

He let go of her hand then, as she didn’t catch their leaving cue soon enough —because, let’s give her some credit, Will had just verbally, deliberately acknowledged her as his mother. When she awoke, he was already a few feet away. She gave the Claytons one last look and muttered, “I’ll bring him back”, before going after the boy.

“William,” she called, but he didn’t slow his pace. “William, wait.”

She jogged a little faster, but _jeez_ , kiddo was fleet-footed. When her legs started to get sore, she used her last but usually most effective resource: her inherited don’t-mess-with-mama voice (similar to the usual Loud Voice, but with a shade that was meant to infuse respect rather than fear), courtesy of Donna Smoak, “Okay, that’s enough, young man, stop right now!”

William barely got to take one more step before giving in and stood still in his place. Felicity swore she could hear her mother sniffling proudly from distance.

“Okay, first of all…” She inhaled deeply, kind of out of breath. “Running away from your problems? That only works with bad guys and bombs, not this.” 

At last, he stopped completely, facing her for the first time since she arrived. His eyes, however, failed to totally meet hers. He wasn’t about to have a breakdown in the middle of the streets, and somehow felt that was exactly what was going to happen if he looked directly into his mother’s gaze.

After another deep breath, the woman went on, “Also, I haven’t been working out lately and I 

get really tired _super_ fast.”

And then, that was it. Of course, _of course_ it took only one of Felicity’s light funny comments to crumble his walls all at once, and after a choked laugh he found himself wrapped inside her embrace. 

(She was right: she, indeed, had to stretch out a reasonable amount to hold him.)

“I hated you,” he sobbed, his face buried in the crook of her neck. 

“I deserved it,” she replied sincerely.

“No, you didn’t. I– I was so upset because I thought you gave up but you didn’t, you…”

“William, I’m so sorry.”

There was so much she wanted to apologize for, so many things she did and would do wrong...

_I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner. I’m sorry I didn’t try harder. I’m sorry I didn’t fight for you. I’m sorry I made you felt unwanted._

But she couldn’t say it. There was no way she could explain to him the guilt she held inside her chest, that wasn’t even her own. She still had trouble understanding herself, how could she even…? 

So, she just muttered, “I’m sorry it took me so long to come.”

“You came,” William reasoned, pulling away so he could look at her. “That’s what matters.”

“But I didn’t. I— I almost didn’t. Or I won’t, I… Oh, this is so messed up.”

The teenager tilted his head, confused. Felicity just shook hers in dismissal. “Not now. We need to talk… about everything.”

“About… dad,” he dared to say with a little voice. From the moment he heard her, alone, in his house, he got that uncomfortable feeling flowering inside his chest. After a few seconds, he gathered enough courage to ask, “I had been, uh, kind of tracking him. I saw him on the news once but–but then he just... Is he...?”

“No. No, he’s just, uhm, on a very hard mission. It’s a really long and complicated story.”

_Like everything in our lives, apparently._

“But he… left,” the boy didn’t exactly ask, but there was a shred of childish query in his voice. “And you’re not sure if he’ll be back.”

She sighed. What could she say? She’d heard the Monitor —no, screw him, she’d heard her _future children_. Her husband was here, on Earth (or he was last time she checked) but… for how long? “No, I’m not sure.”

He nodded and then pursed his lips in some sort of understanding smile, his head down —the same way Oliver did when he was acting tough. Felicity knew what this meant for him, because that’s what it would meant for her if she didn’t knew better: it was a confirmation. He had been trying hold onto the unlikeness, the small possibility that maybe, just maybe, Oliver’s sudden disappearance didn’t mean he was _gone_. That maybe he was just hiding, that he was somewhere else, even if that meant that he didn’t care to go for him, or at least let him know he was okay. Being abandoned? Sure, that hurt. But it hurt way less than losing his dad for good. 

Felicity laid her hands on his shoulders, giving her kid a firm, encouraging squeeze.

“I have hope, though,” she said. 

William looked up again, smiling softly. _Of course_ she did. He hugged her again. “I really missed you.”

“I missed you, too. So much.”

She tightened her grip around his body, holding him as tough as he might slip through her fingers. 

“Fliss, you’re choking me,” William said, not really bothered by it.

“I know. It’s been months since I hugged you, put up with it.”

He laughed and squeezed her as well. They stayed like that for way too long, probably to the point most of the passersby looked at them awkwardly. 

“So, what now?” The boy asked when they finally –and kinda reluctantly– pulled apart. 

“Now,” Felicity said, brushing his cheek, “we are having lunch, because all I ate was a burnt omelette and I’m _starving_.”

* * *

Every worry she had before getting there completely vanished within the first five minutes with her son. She tiptoed at first, trying to find out how far she could go with him, boundaries and stuff, but he seemed so comfortable it made everything simpler. They ate (“yes, junk food, no one will know”), he asked about Oliver, she explained the whole thing as carefully as possible —avoiding specific concepts such as “crisis” and “end of worlds”—, she even allowed herself to loosely mention she had a close experience with time travel and laughed when he asked if what the Flash had done this time (“well, no one got erased, so I’m pretty sure he wasn’t involved”). He looked somewhat awkward when she asked about school and friends, so the subject was promptly changed.

William’s choice for the next topic, however, caught Felicity off guard.

“So, how are things with your baby?”

The woman almost choked with her mint chip sundae (with double whipped cream, and she wasn’t even sorry). _That_ question she did not expect. Like, _at all_.

With wide eyes, she sputtered, “What? How do you—? What?”

“Yeah, well, I was mad, but I still wanted to catch up. I mean, I never tried to search for you or anything, but I kept myself posted with big news. And your company was like, the biggest new, so…”

“ _Oh_ , Smoak Tech!” she yelled way too over-excitedly when she understood what he actually meant. A couple of girls walking their dog nearby stopped to stare. “Hi. Nice dog. I love border collies.”

When they were past them, she turned to her son again. He was laughing, but looked at her with narrowed eyes. 

She chose to ignore his scrutinizing glance and just answered, “Everything’s great. We have some little things ready, but Alena and I finally agreed that we will use Archer’s main code to a whole different security program —I mean, not _that_ different, but slightly less… potentially dangerous, I hope. We’re still working on the firewall, though, because it has to be _flawless_. We can’t let them get anywhere near it, that would—“

“Wait, who’s _they_?”

Felicity blinked a few times, momentarily baffled.

“Oh. No one. I meant ‘they’ as in ‘evil people’ in general. Not an specific company or organization or anything. Just… bad guys.”

“Okay, Felicity, what’s going on?”

“What do you mean?” She wanted to say, but through her nervousness and her attempt to put on a decent poker face, a weird babble that sounded sorta like “wadyameen” came out instead.

William gave her an arched eyebrow that conveyed he was buying none of her bullshit. She sighed with resignation.

Not that she wasn’t going to tell him about Mia that day, or that she wasn’t thrilled to, but there still was a shred of apprehension in her chest that wanted to wait a little longer. Give him more time. She knew in her soul he wouldn’t react badly, she had _seen_ the love he would have for his sister eventually, but… It still scared her a little bit. 

“There _is_ a little something you should know,” she admitted as she poke into her purse, trying her best to sound joyful instead of freaked out.

“Yeah, I figured. Is it… bad?”

Okay, she _clearly_ didn’t sound as joyful as she intended. “No. Well, I don’t think so? I mean, for me, it’s not, that would be ugly to say. For you, it might… No, no, it’s not bad. I promise. It’s… a surprise. A big one. Not _that_ big, though— ”

“ _Felicity._ ”

“Right! Yeah, I, uh, let me just…”

The boy looked at her curiously as she searched for something on her phone. When she finally found it, she took another deep breath and handed him the device. After a beat, he looked down at the screen, and his curiosity –and meager fear– turned into absolute bewilderment. Whatever he was expecting to see, out of the infinite list of things that might have his mom so stressed out, a little baby in a hippo onesie was _not_ it.

“This is Mia,” Felicity said, perfectly knowing it meant absolutely nothing to him but too emotional to care.

Except, somehow, for some inexplicable reason, it _did_ mean something. As his mind didn’t seem to react at all, there was pressing feeling in his chest that made his eyes teary. He gazed at the phone again, then the woman, looking for a concrete answer in any of them.

“She’s–” Felicity choked out with a little voice, “she’s your sister.”

Wasn’t she so tense, she would’ve laughed at his expression. It was the exact same face Oliver made when his brain was sort of malfunctioning: lips slightly parted, quick blinking, a frown barely starting to crease his brows. 

When he finally managed to react, he stammered, “My— You had a baby?”

The woman nodded, studying him carefully. She saw all the different emotions he was going through, yet couldn’t quite get anything conclusive out of his mien.

Truth to be told, William himself didn’t know what he was feeling. “How– No, I mean– When?” 

“It’ll be five months ago next week.”

His frown deepened as he made calculations in his head.

“Five… You were pregnant when I left?”

“Yes, I-I actually found out that day.”

The boy looked back at the screen, slowly taking in the baby —his _sister_ . He was no expert on babies, he didn’t have any little cousins or anything growing up and he never really payed attention to his mother’s friends’ younger children, but _that_ was a really damn cute kid. And although his whole life he scowled at people when they said how much a baby looked like its parents (because, _“no, it looks like a tomato and an alien had a kid, not like your brother, Karen_ ”), he swore that was Felicity’s face almost perfectly copied on Mia’s, with a little something else he couldn’t fully describe, but assumed it was some of his — _their—_ dad’s features. _Oh, my god,_ did she look like him? She had to, right? Even a little bit? He didn’t see it, but he didn’t see his resemblance with his own parents, so maybe it had something to do with self-recognition issues or something. Not that he had a problem with his identity, of course, he was totally comfortable with himself. Well, excepting that one thing—

“So, what do you think?” His mom’s voice cut his messy train of thoughts ( _thank goodness_ ). Her voice shivered with jitters. “You can be honest. I know this is a lot and all of the sudden, I-I get it if you don’t—”

“No, I’m–” The beginning of a smile curved his lips. “I’m a big brother? Like, for real?”

Felicity let out a sob disguised as a laugh. “Yeah, buddy. You are a big brother for real.”

“Do you– do you have more pictures?”

“Are you kidding? She’s adorable _and_ she can’t complain, I have _thousands_.”

Excited by her son’s excitement, she went through some of the best photos she had of Mia —mostly based her election on how silly her outfits were. William was particularly ecstatic with the onesie with a 45º angle that said “I’m acute baby”, at which Felicity said he was the first one with enough taste and brain cells to think it was as cool as she thought it was. When she found one from when she was just weeks old with the tiniest shirt that said “I love my big brother”, he choked up.

“It came with a joint shirt for you,” she explained, tenderly stroking his hair. “I got them before she was born. I know it’s sappy, but thought it would be a nice way to tell you, back then. Certainly nicer than this, but anyway. I had to take a pic before she outgrew it. I’m sure yours is too small as well, because you _dared_ to keep growing up like this. It’s really unfair, kiddo, seriously.”

William chuckled. “We can get bigger ones now.”

“Oh, you bet. You won’t save yourself from the ugly matching outfits.”

“I can’t wait.”

He zoomed in the picture with a soft smile, a finger tracing the contour of his baby sister’s face. Felicity was one step away from melting into a puddle by that gesture.

“So, how is this gonna work?” The kid asked, lowering the phone. “I mean, I wanna go with you, but I don’t think my grandparents would just let me like that. I’m not sure how custody stuff works, but if I tell them I—”

“No, Will, that’s not gonna work out.”

He stared at her for a moment, baffled, before her conflicted expression and her words came together to mean something, something he didn’t consider before and made his whole mood drop. “So... I’m not going home with you?”

“No, honey, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

The disappointment in William’s face broke her heart. “Listen–”

“No, no, of course. I get it,” he said, genuinely, but that didn’t stop the tremor in his voice. “You’re busy. You have to take care of a baby, _and_ your company, the last thing you need is another responsibility. I mean, I’m not even your—”

He didn’t finish his sentence, for he saw the way Felicity flinched like she had been stabbed. Just then he realized what he was about to say, and squeezed his eyes shut with regret. “I’m sorry. I don’t know where that came from.”

“I do.”

“No, I really didn’t mean it.”

“I know, Will.”

“Really. I– Puberty hormones are making me super sensitive. Last week, I cried over a car ad.”

“Oh, come on, who hasn’t?”

The boy laughed softly, but then shifted back to his previous gloomy expression. “I’m really sorry…” 

“I know, buddy. C’mere.” 

She wrapped him with her arms, pulling him closer, and he rested his head on her shoulder.

“I love you,” she said softly. “I might not be your first mom, but you are my first kid. Nothing will ever change that. You are _not_ just ‘another responsibility’, okay? And I would _love_ to have you back home with me and your sister… But it’s complicated. The Ninth Circle is still out there, a custody battle like this would be public and that might put you in danger. Plus, those things are so ugly, I really don’t want you to go through that.”

“I can take it.”

“I know, honey. But I don’t want you to do something you might regret, okay? Danger and all stuff aside, you chose to come live here, because you wanted a normal life, and that’s _so_ valid. I want you to have it because you deserve it. And I’m not sure I can give it to you just yet... I don’t know if I ever will.”

There was no anger or accusation in his voice when he asked, “Why did you come, then?” 

“Because I couldn’t– I needed to come here, to make sure you knew I _care_ . That everything I did… and will do, is to protect you. Even if we didn’t see each other ever again, I needed you to know, one hundred percent, that I love you _so much_.”

A shred of fear unfurled inside the kid’s chest.

“Why are you saying it like that?” He asked, unsure if he really wanted an honest answer. “We’re not… You’re not going anywhere, right?”

After a moment of silence, he took the courage to straighten up and look at her, scared of what he might find. The tears streaming down her face didn’t ease the feeling, but he managed not to lose the last bit of calm he had left.

“No,” Felicity said, and he let out the breath he didn’t realize he was holding. “No. I know better now, I wouldn’t leave you again, even if that made me selfish.”

He furrowed, confused. The woman sighed, and her next words came out without even thinking, without even realizing she felt that way.

“You know, I said I almost didn’t come, and I think that’s the reason. I knew that coming here would change things; that once I saw you again, I couldn’t just be gone like that, even if I wanted to. And I thought that was selfish, because I thought– I was _sure_ that you would be better without me. Even if you hated me, at least you would have the normal life you deserve, you know? And then part of me thought, maybe you didn’t even care enough to hate me. Maybe, without your dad, I wasn’t…”

He gasped, a sympathetic yet surprised expression on his face. _How could you think that?,_ he wanted to say, but the words got stuck in his throat. Instead, he shook his head fiercely. She smiled sadly.

“My point is, that I was sure that you hating me was the best thing that could happen to you. But I just… I couldn’t live knowing that you would think you weren’t loved. I don’t know if your life will be better or worse because of this choice, and I’m so sorry if I screwed it up anyway, but—”

Her voice broke. And she was glad it did, because she didn’t really know what she wanted to say next. She was overwhelmed with understanding. For the first time since she saw her children on the bunker footage, something about her (future) decisions made sense. It took facing her son to realize how she really felt about herself, to realize why she would ever choose to keep him away. And while it was partly a relief, the gloomy voice in her head remained and grew stronger: what if she was right on doubting? What if her previous future call was the right one? What if his life was actually better without her? What if—?

A firm hand holding hers interrupted her thoughts, pulling her out of the murk she was suffocating in and back to the bench at Central City’s Plaza. 

As though as he was reading her mind, William squeezed her hand and affirmed, “Felicity, no one’s life could be better without you.”

His voice was so sturdy and casual, like there was no possible way to contradict that statement. It made her previous doubts sound so meaningless, so dumb. _Of course_ his life would be better like this. Knowing his parents do love him, having at least one of them telling him so every day, getting to know his sister growing up. Maybe keeping him away was the best on certain circumstances, but she was certain this was the best right now. She was certain that, knowing what she did, no version of her would do anything differently. 

She enfolded her child in her arms again. “I love you so much.”

“I know.”

“Was that a Star Wars reference?”

“Yeah, but also you said you love me like ten times in half an hour, so I _really_ know.”

“And I will keep saying it. Always. Forever. Every five minutes. You might wanna reconsider having me close to you.”

With a chuckle, William said, “No, not a chance.”

Felicity clenched her embrace for a few seconds, then pulled apart to look at him. “Okay, so, what about this. I’ll talk to your grandparents about spending some time together. Not official custody, just visits, so we don’t get into the whole legal drama.”

“What if they don’t agree? If they… take me away or something?”

“That’s not gonna happen.”

“But they did it once. They clearly don’t care about what I feel, they could—”

“Okay, listen.” She held his shoulders and looked directly into his eyes. “What you’re grandparents did was wrong. It was awful and I know you’re angry and hurt, I get it. But they wanted to protect you, alright? They’re not evil. They love you and they want what’s best for you.”

“But what if they still think being away from you is the best?”

“I–I don’t think they will.”

“But—!”

“ _But_ if they do, I will find you again. No matter what. They can take you to the freaking moon if they want, there’s no place in this universe or any other where I can’t find you, okay? This is both a promise _and_ a threat, in case you ever get any rebellious idea one day.

William stared at her for a moment, unsure, then burst into laugh. “Okay.”

“Okay, then. I think we should… get going now.”

“Can we look some more pictures before?”

“Uh… I guess a few more minutes won’t hurt. Oh! You need to see the one in the little avocado costume!”

“Oh, my god, _what?_ ”

As expected, they stayed there for way longer than ’a few more minutes’, before getting into the tautest conversation any of them had ever even witnessed. 

Everything would be worth it, though, when later that day, Felicity got several texts from William, including some baby pictures of him, saying that he thought Mia looked a little bit like him.

(And Felicity spent hours bawling because she _totally_ looked like him and it was the most amazing thing ever).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Nyssa called Mia habibti and dabdoub (arabic for ‘my beloved’ and ‘teddy bear’ respectively). Yes, Nyssa also loves babies. Yes, everyone here loves babies. Yes, I am physically incapable of writting characters that do not love babies. No, I am not sorry (well, maybe a little).  
> Anyway, don't know if anyone noticed or even cares, but I played a bit with Nyssa's and William's personalities here (aka they're pretty much ooc), with her, gotta be honest, it was because I love her but I never really connected with the characterization and I couldn't fully get her right, so I did my best to subtly change it but keeping her essence; with him, because I wanted to show teen-William's rather shy personality developing into adult-William's more charismatic one, as we never got to see it on screen. I hope it worked out like I intended.  
> Oh, and, Will's grandparents? I try to be impartial, but let's just say they try their best but they suck anyway. Sorry not sorry.  
> And one more thing: YES, Felicity dresses Mia up all the time. Her whole baby closet is nerdy bodysuits and adorable costumes. She’ll embarrass her when she’s older showing Connor every single picture. It’s canon.  
> Anyway, thanks for reading! Don't forget to leave comments and/or reach out to me on Twitter (@ragnarokwn)!


	3. The Star-shaped Teether

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Somewhere in time, Felicity makes up her mind. In 2019, brother and sister meet for the third first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this one is a little different. Shorter and weirder, but also fluffier. I hope it works out. Enjoy!

_ “Okay, be honest: do you really, really think this is a good idea? _

_ She’s whispering. She has no idea why she’s whispering, because she knows very well that the other man can whatever they say. It feels more intimate, maybe, even if it’s only psychologically. _

_ The feeling is clearly shared, or maybe he just follows her example when he speaks in a low voice as well. “It’s your idea, so I know it is.” _

_ “That’s very sweet, but it’s not like I’m choosing to go on a spontaneous trip to Torres del Paine to hunt penguins instead of taking a nap.” _

_ Quirking a tiny smile, he frowns. “I don’t think there are penguins on—” _

_ “Pumas, then. Or condors, if they still exist. Or whatever species that haven’t extinguished yet— That is  _ not _ the point!” _

_ He laughs (which feels strangely unfamiliar), takes her hands in his (which does not) and says,“I genuinely think it’s gonna work.” _

_ Well, that’s reassuring for once. It’s stupid, she knows, doubting after coming up with the plan, but it really isn’t something to be taken lightly. _

_ A deep voice startles her. “Are you completely sure this is what you want?” _

_ She stares past him, past everything, to a fixed point in the bright whiteness and into herself. Is she sure? Hell no, she’s really fucking not sure. But what else is she supposed to do? Just move on, knowing she could have done something else, something different? Live forever wondering if it would have worked, how the end would’ve been if it did? No. She already came this far. _

_ It’s a long shot, that is for sure. It’s putting in danger all she has now and all she’ll ever have, with the faint possibility of a lifetime. It’s the lives of the people she loves the most in the multiverse changing, for better or for worse, or staying the same. It’s a whole future in the hands of someone who will mostly likely not know what to do with it.  _

_ Unless they do, even if they don’t know they do. And she knows that someone, as well as she knows herself, and she’s pretty certain they would know what to do (although she’s also pretty certain they would not know they know what to do). And then, everything might… _

_ Yes. It is a long shot. But it’s their best shot —and the only one, really, and she likes their odds. She won’t let this possibility, as uncertain as it is, go away just like that. She owed them the try at least. _

_ The voice speaks again, interrupting her thoughts just in time for her answer. “Are you really willing to take the risk of it being all in vain?” _

_ Putting on a brave face, Felicity nods. “Yes.” _

_ “Because if this plan of yours does not work out as you intend,” The Monitor continues, looking oddly not-unsentimental —worried, even, “it might be the end of your story.” _

_ She takes a deep breath and says, “It won’t. I won’t let it.”  _

_ Then, she considers the vague meaning of that short statement and clears up, “Be the end, I mean. Not… not work out. Because it will. Work out. So it will not be the—” _

_ “Yes, honey, we get it.” Oliver chuckles.  _

_ The other man remains unimpressed and twists the corner of his mouth. “It must remain clear that I did not advice this, nor do I fully assent with it.” _

_ “Noted,” the archer says at the same time the woman retorts, “Did we ask, though?” _

_ He lifts and drops his shoulders, half-shrugging, half-sighing, like saying “Have it your way, I did my best.” But the troubled expression doesn’t leave his face. _

_ “Alright, then.” _

***

There was a lot that William could do nicely. He did above average at school; he was a great cooker; he had some non fully developed leadership skills; he could handle himself awesomely with technology and electronics. Yes, he was good at many, many things.

Hiding his feelings, however, was  _ not _ one of them. Which was ironic, given his tendency to do so very often.

Sure, he could fool his grandparents sometimes to avoid an awkward situation, and was pretty sure he did a decent job acting casually with the boy he had a crush on. But when it came to basic emotions —such as fear or excitement—, he was helpless. Anyone who payed even the slightest bit of attention could see it in his eyes. Or in that specific case, just hours away from meeting his baby sister, in the way he fidgeted uncontrollably.

He hadn’t been able to stay quiet ever since Felicity called to say she was on her way to pick him up. Truth to be told, he hadn’t really been able to stay quiet since she left his house, partly because he was  _ terrified  _ that she’d disappear again, but also because she mentioned to his grandparents that she wanted regular visits, and that,  _ if it was okay with them  _ (those were her specific words, but the tone very clearly implied that she didn’t really care if it wasn’t), she wanted to take him home with her the next weekend. However, he’d done a good job acting cool at the moment and after. That until she arrived.

He found himself eagerly running to her and hugging her before he could help it. Not that he didn’t  _ want  _ to hug her, but… Well, he was a teenager. One that had been through _ a lot _ . He was cautious with expressing his feelings in general, so physical affection wasn’t his forte, either.

He wasn’t always like that, tough. He used to be very warm and expressive as a little kid. But then, his mother died. And then, just when he was getting truly comfortable with openly giving and receiving love, his dad left. And then Felicity sent him away. And then… Okay, point is, life being unfairly rough made it hard to be affectionate. 

So, he was somewhat surprised with his own reaction when he saw her. Then again, Felicity had always been able to go through his barriers easily. It still scared him a little bit; loving like that meant having someone else to lose one day. 

But maybe it was worth it, he thought, as Felicity squeezed him back and he felt the safest he’d felt in months. Yes, losing her was a risk he was willing to take. He chose to make that sacrifice, because he truly believed it was worth it. 

And that was what made their love deeper than other kinds of love, right?

“You know, there are easier ways to escape than making a hole in the car,” a voice cut through his thoughts.

He blinked a few times, momentarily confused as he looked through the window and didn’t recognize the surroundings. He didn’t really notice when they left the city. He barely recalled saying a cold goodbye to his grandparents and getting into the car, but he’d kind of drifted off after that. “What?”

Felicity bobbed her head, chin pointing at the leg he was bouncing; his heel tapped frantically the floor of the car.

“I mean, you could just open the door and jump,” she added, smirking. “But please don’t do that, I have enough with your father doing stupid dangerous stuff.”

William huffed out a brief breath of laughter. “Sorry.”

“Oh, don’t be. ARGUS probably has thousands of these, they get it wholesale. I’m more worried about what’s going on in that brilliant little head of yours that has you so wobbly.”

He sighed. There was no point in lying, specially not with her. True, she would most likely appreciate how hard he tried and how awkward he was, and she would pretend to believe whatever poor excuse he gave, and chances were he would end up telling her anyway. That happened a lot while the two of them were in protective custody; for months, she was the only one he had, and even though he was reluctant to open up, she became his confident, someone he could talk to whenever he felt like it. He didn’t realize how important that complicity was until it was gone, but he was too hurt and angry back then to admit he missed their chats. Now that she was back, he wasn’t about to take her for granted again. 

“I’m nervous,” he admitted with a shrug. “I know it’s dumb, because she’s a baby and she won’t judge me or anything… I think? But… I don’t know.”

Felicity smiled softly. “It’s not dumb being nervous. You should’ve seen your dad before she was born. I mean,  _ maybe _ it had something to do with me screaming and yelling at him, but he was hysterical.”

“I bet that was fun to see,” he scoffed.

“Would’ve been funnier if I hadn’t had a human being coming out of…” She stopped even before seeing William’s wide eyes and terrified expression. “Yeah. It wasn’t pretty.”

“Hm. I kinda wish I was there, though.”

“You  _ really  _ don’t. Trust me.”

“No, maybe not exactly for  _ that  _ part. I mean, birth is a miracle or whatever, but… Yeah, no. But be there for you and seeing Mia just after she was born… I don’t know.”

Felicity was touched and slightly sad, and she allowed herself to jump into the ‘what if’s for exactly five seconds. Her mind pictured William’s face as he placed his eyes on his newborn sister, his expression mirroring Oliver’s when Mia was placed in her arms for the first time: soft smile and wondered teary eyes, as though as she was the most astonishing thing they’ve ever seen.

When the moment passed, she pushed the feeling of loss far away and straightened up on her seat. 

_ He’s here now _ , her logical self reminded her,  _ he’s here, and he’s meeting Mia, and everything’s fine.  _

She knew perfectly that there was no point in regretting things that didn’t happen, especially for her son’s sake. 

“I know. That would’ve been nice,” she said softly. Next, her voice shifted to a more enthusiastic one, “On the other hand,  _ now _ you’re gonna meet her while she’s not covered in blood and gross sticky stuff, so I genuinely think this is for the best.”

William made a face. Then, he smirked crookedly and nodded. 

“Plus, now that she’s a little older, it’ll be  _ so much _ more fun. She laughs and cooes and does lots of really cute faces when you play with her. Back then she just… slept and pooped.”

“Oh! That reminds me…”

“The… poop did?”

“No,” he laughed as he searched for something in his backpack. “The play part. Ugh, where did I— Ah, here.”

He handed her a colorful package with a yellow, textured star-shaped toy inside; it had a ring handle with a green spinner incorporated.

“I don’t know if she’s teething yet,” he said shyly, “but I read that they usually start around 5 or 6 months. Uh… This had great reviews. The points vibrate when they bite them, to calm the pain and stuff,  _ and  _ it helps them learn cause and effect, which is also pretty cool.”

Felicity had to hold back the tears and she choked out, “This is so sweet, honey. Thank you.”

“It’s nothing. I used part of my savings, but it wasn’t a lot.”

“Well, I hadn’t bought any teethers and I’m around 95% sure she’ll start teething soon, so it  _ means _ a lot.”

William smiled proudly, then turned to look out the window. 

As time passed and they got closer to their destiny, his nerves and excitement increased. Felicity tried to distract him with small talk, but that worked only for every few minutes. 

By the time they entered the neighborhood, he could barely sit still for two seconds. 

“You know, I always wanted a sibling when I was little,” he said, voice shivering, when the car stopped. “I begged my mom so many times. I even asked one for Christmas and threw tantrums when I got toys instead.” He chuckled and Felicity echoed him. “Then, I figured a sibling wouldn’t instantly be able to play with me, so I got bored of the idea. But with you guys, I-I never really thought about it.”

She waited for him to continue, until she realized he wasn’t really telling  _ her _ something, but thinking out loud. She squeezed his hand. “Hey. It’ll be great. You’re already the best big brother in the universe.”

He looked at her with uncertainty, but nodded nevertheless. 

The walk to the cabin would’ve been silent wasn’t for Felicity talking about the security system. He listened curiously, yet saved his questions for later —when he could actually  _ talk _ . 

Once inside, as William carefully scrutinized the place, she asked him, “So? What’d you think?”

“It’s nice. I think I like it best than the old apartment.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. It’s… cozier, I guess.” 

She hummed, thoughtful. Just when she was about to speak, a woman William couldn’t fully recognize showed up from one of the several rooms of the cabin.

“Hey! How did it go?” Felicity asked cheerly.

“As swiftly as ever,” Nyssa answered, smiling fondly. 

The blonde smiled back at her. “Will, you remember Nyssa? Dad’s friend?”

He looked bewildered for a moment. He had seen Nyssa twice: one time in the island –although everything about that was blurry, and he preferred it to stay that way–, and when his aunt Thea left. And on neither of those occasions she was wearing yoga pants and a tank top with a smiley rainbow on it and, well, anything other than that weird convention-cosplay-like suit. So, yeah, it took him more than a fleeting instant to actually realize it was the same woman –who, by the way, he was fairly sure used to be a killer, but that was the least of the concerns, given his dad’s history– right there, apparently babysitting his sister.

“Yeah,” he muttered once he overcame the initial daze. “Dad’s friend, yeah. Hi.”

Nyssa tilted her head in a salute. “Although my bond with your father goes far beyond friendship.” Felicity gave her a deadly stare, which she ignored. “I suppose you could say I am your stepmother as well.”

William looked at her in confusion. “ _ You  _ and  _ dad _ —?”

“ _ No _ ,” Felicity hurried to say. “They did  _ not _ . It’s a weird story I’ll tell you later. And  _ you _ ,” she jabbed a finger at Nyssa, “are fired, Nanny McPhee.” 

“When you need me, but do not want me, then I must stay.”

“I cannot  _ believe  _ you actually saw  _ and _ quoted that movie.”

The brunette chuckled softly, then gracefully walked to the kitchen. “Are you still planning on starving to death, or may I cook something for lunch?”

“Oh, now you’re a chef, too? Huh... You know, I’m not sure I can afford you.”

“Do not worry about it. We might find a way for you to pay me back afterwards.”

William’s jaw dropped as he  _ swore _ he saw Nyssa winking at his mom before she turned her back at them. “Did she just  _ flirt _ with you?”

Sensing no discomfort or awkwardness in his voice whatsoever, rather the contrary, Felicity grinned and tried to look theatrically mortified. “Of course not. I’m a married woman, that would be completely inappropriate.”

The boy cocked an eyebrow, then smiled. But his grin melted into a startled grimace when he heard a loud, high-pitched whine –a baby whine. He looked at Felicity with a mixture of fear and enthusiasm, and she patted his back reassuringly.

“Someone’s getting bored of being alone in her crib,” she said. “Shall we?”

After a hesitant pause that he really hoped wasn’t as long as it felt, he nodded.

A tiny part of him expected Mia’s room to be covered in pink and flowers, because, well, that was what most parents did when they had a girl (which he honestly thought was  _ so  _ dumb). But he wasn’t at all surprised when he saw it was painted in the lightest shade of mint green; because  _ of course _ it was. And it did have some pink flowers in a mural of a cherry blossom tree on one of the walls. Hanging over the white crib, there was a letter M carved on wood with a glowing crown on top that made him let out a chuckled.

“Green  _ and  _ crowns?” He bantered. 

“Ooh, yeah. I only didn’t use the arrows wallpaper because your dad wouldn’t let me.”

He laughed again, and his attention got snapped from the bedroom decorations by another short whimper; he could see tiny limbs wiggling inside the crib, and, as he got closer, the cutest little angry face he had ever seen.

His little sister only stared at him curiously for a few seconds before turning to his – _ their– _ mother, but that was more than enough for his heart to melt into a big puddle of adoration.

Mia stopped her fussing when she saw him, mildly curious, but her mood instantly shifted when she laid her eyes on Felicity. If at first sight she was an almost identical only smaller version of the woman, the way her frown instantly faded into a radiant beam the moment she saw her was pure Oliver. 

(Although the little crinkle between her eyebrows looked not so much like a scowl as it looked like her mother’s worried/concentrated expression).

“Hey, you,” Felicity cooed, and the baby waved her arms eagerly in response. “Hi, little star. There’s someone here who wants to meet you.” She picked her up and held her facing forward, her back resting against her chest, so she would be looking at William. 

The boy only managed to let out a strangled “Hi, baby”, at which she looked almost skeptical. 

(Felicity  _ swore _ there was some recognition in her daughter’s gaze, like she kind of knew his face but wasn’t completely sure it was him).

He tried again, this time a little more enthusiastically, “Hi, Mia. I’m William. I’m your brother.” Mia continued to stare blankly. “But that means absolutely nothing to you, huh?”

Felicity chuckled softly. “She’s a little shy today. Why don’t you try to bribe her? Maybe show her your present?”

William brightened up with the suggestion and rushed to get the toy out of his bag and tear the wrapping apart. Then, he held it in front of her face, shaking it gently to make the rattle sound.

Mia looked at that noisy, colorful thing with interest, reached out to take it and smiled at her brother just a little bit. 

(“ _ Like I said, I’d love to talk _ .”)

Despite her arduous endeavors, her fingers didn’t fully grasp the teether, so William had to hold it for her while she examined it. He took that instance to brush a finger on one of her chubby hands.

“Her nails are so tiny,” he whispered in awe.

“I know! You have no idea how scary it is to cut them.”

He gasped, entranced by the infant’s every movement. They both laughed when she took the toy to her mouth and her eyes widened a little when she bit it and felt the vibration on her gums. After a few more hesitant tries, she realized it was a pleasant sensation and chewed on it vigorously.

“I think she liked it,” William said, smiling proudly.

“She  _ loved  _ it. She usually gets bored of toys after two seconds,  _ this  _ is a total success.” 

A bright smile spread across her face. “You like your new toys, Mi-Mi? Yeah, you do!”

He grabbed her little feet, swinging them back and forth playfully and earning a melodic chortle from her. Felicity had to fight the tears for around the fifth time that day.

“Do you–“ her voice broke. “Do you wanna hold her?” 

He found himself nodding and making an awkward cradle with his arm before his mind fully catched up on what was happening. The woman tucked Mia into it, laying her down on his forearm and nudging her head onto the crook of his elbow; he used his other hand to provide extra support on her back, slightly unsure but steady nevertheless. “Am I doing it right?”

“Yeah,” his mom chirped. “That’s great. You’re a natural.”

“Oh, not really. I-I actually spent the whole week reading about babies. Like,  _ everything _ about babies. I memorized like 15 different ways to hold them.”

“That’s even  _ more  _ impressive, kiddo.”

“They made it sound easier than it actually is, though.” William grimaced, but the smile didn’t leave his eyes. 

“You’ll get used to it. Want me to take her?”

He shook his head. “No, it’s fine. I’ll just… not move and stand like this forever.”

Felicity rolled her eyes with a laugh and grabbed his arms gently. “Here, why don’t you try another hold.”

She steered his free hand to slide under Mia’s nape as she instructed, “Use this one to lift her a little bit from your arm… That’s right. Now, hold the other one firm on her tushie… and now sort of rotate her body so she’s facing you.”

He looked at her, incredulous, like she had just asked him to toss his little sister off the window. “I know I’m doing fine, but let’s not push it.”

“You’re doing  _ great _ ,” she corrected. “You wouldn’t drop her even if you wanted to. I know she might seem little and fragile, but you won’t break her, honey. It’s okay. Don’t worry so much.”

William heaved a dramatic sigh before nodding. He slowly moved the hand holding her head so it was in front of his chest, the other hand staying close to his body so her legs were barely touching his stomach. 

“Was it so hard?” Felicity grinned. “See, now you not only know every way to hold her theoretically, you’ve also mastered  _ two _ .”

The boy snorted. “I should give classes.”

Encouraged by the new perspective that the face-to-face position gave, Mia drew her attention away from the teether and gazed at her brother. For a reason he wasn’t able to understand, that eye contact shook him to the core; if any part of the excitement he felt before meeting her had faded because of his clumsiness, a mere look at that tiny person’s eyes was more than enough to restore it  _ and _ strengthen it. 

“Hey, Mia,” he cooed, ducking his head to brush the tip of his nose against her forehead. She giggled in response. “It’s so good to finally meet you. Sorry I didn’t come sooner, lot of weird stuff happened, you know? But now I’m here and I’ll never leave. Never ever. Promise.”

Mia babbled a soft “buh, buh, buh”, and reached out a chubby hand to touch his face. He tilted his head and gently caught her fingers between his lips, mimicking the sound she just let out. She giggled.

“Oh, you are  _ so  _ cute, sissy—” The last word got distorted as his voice broke, tears stinging the backs of his eyes. “Gosh, I promised to myself I wouldn’t cry.”

“It’s okay,” Felicity sobbed, and when William looked up at her, he saw a trail of tears running down her face. “So did I.”

That was his cue to stop fighting against his feelings —feelings so deep and intense and overwhelming that he couldn’t express them with words, even if he tried. So, crying, embarrassing as it was for him, it was also helpless. 

But, as Felicity wrapped an arm around his shoulders and rested her temple on his, and they both stared down at the precious baby on his arms, he realized it didn’t matter. Not to his mom, not to Mia, not to anyone that really counted. Why should  _ he _ care if crying was embarrassing? Right now, dignity or pride or whatever it was that made it so shameful, was the least of his concerns.

* * *

The next couple of weeks happened so fast and swiftly that she came to wonder whether they actually happen or she had been caught in a long, roughly perfect dream. Although Oliver’s absence ached profoundly, and she longed for him to be there for those beautiful moments, she swore to treasure them in all their vivacity for him. 

She filled her phone memory with pictures of the kids together: Mia laughing at her brother as he made faces; William laying on his stomach in front of her during tummy time; both of them sleeping and cuddling on the couch, the baby comfortably settled on her brother’s chest and the book he was reading to her long forgotten on the floor. Of course, she almost cried as she snapped most of those photos  _ and  _ when she went through the camera roll at night, just like she did when William casually came out to her one day by telling her the boy he had a crush on invited him to his birthday party.

(However, she did a better job suppressing her tears in that moment. She was very proud of herself for holding it together so well, only losing her chill facade when she excitedly urged him to tell  _ everything _ about the boy. It still worked out okay, though, because he was equally enthusiastic about telling  _ everything _ about him).

Felicity kept wondering how did she get so lucky to have the most beautiful — _ yes _ , they were gorgeous, that was a  _ fact  _ and acknowledging so did not make her frivolous— and and amazing children in the whole wide multiverse.

Whatever fear and uncertainty that still constricted her chest wore off almost instantly as she watched her children’s relationship unfold.

She knew William and Mia would inevitably share a special bond, no matter what. She’d  _ seen _ it first hand and she continued to see it the times she called or hacked into the bunker, the deep connection between those two  _ adults _ , who had known each other for barely a few months but clearly loved each as though as they’ve been together forever. That was reassuring, but it also gave her more doubts regarding her choice. 

Maybe the dangers of having the two kids all for herself, exposing them even more than they already were for belonging to that family, were not worth it. If they would end up being (relatively) fine and meeting at some point, taking care of each other when she wasn’t there anymore, why risk it? 

But watching her babies —her young, tiny, present-time babies— together was totally something else. 

In the time she’d know William, she didn’t remember a single time she saw him so happy. She expected it to be a little tougher. He had been an only child his whole life, and he was a teenager now, the transition should be harder. But the boy was completely smitten. No 13-year-old had ever been so over the moon for learning how to all the gross baby-related stuff, and he couldn’t get through an entire minute without laying his eyes or hands on his little sister.

And Mia wasn’t so far behind. She was usually very receptive with the few people she met: she liked to be held, she made eye contact, smirked and cooed. With her big brother, though, she reached a whole new level in a heartbeat. Big smiles, the most energetic babbles her mom had heard from her, even her very first belly-laugh. Even though she saw him only on the weekends, William seemed to have effortlessly taken his Felicity’s place as Mia’s favorite person, and the woman wasn’t in the least bothered by that. Her heart had never been so close to burst with love so many times a day.

Thus, yes, when seeing how insanely happy her children were together, Felicity  _ knew  _ she’d make the right choice. She couldn’t bare the thought of them  _ not  _ being together, and was certain that there was no possible way a future with them separated was better than this one.

(Although the darkest corner of her mind could actually think of a handful of situations that might make things worse than the previous future, but that would be beyond pessimistic and she was _ not _ going to let that happen whatsoever).

She should have guessed that, knowing how unfairly skewered life was with her family, the uninterrupted bliss couldn’t last long. She just assumed Oliver not being there was bad enough to balance things for the universe. Apparently, it was not..

An alarm started tingling in the back of her head when she couldn’t get in touch with Oliver and the (big) children after they came back from Russia, but she didn’t think much of it at the moment —or tried to convince herself not to, because she had promised to take care of  _ these _ two kids and she had to focus on that.

Two days later, the sky turned red, and she only didn’t succumb to fear and despair because William was there. Unlike Mia, he was grown enough to worry about things, to know when  _ she  _ was worried about things and to worry about  _ her _ . That’s why she didn’t freak out and locked herself in her secret (but not too secret, because she’d show it to him) tech room for days, no eating or sleeping until she found out what happened, until she found out where Oliver was. She couldn’t do that, because then the boy would have one more concern in his head –his mom not taking care of herself, potentially getting sick– and of those he had for a thousand lifetimes.

Instead, she held both of her kids close to her until even after the natural lightning returned to its original color, whispering soothing words she wasn’t sure she believed herself. 

“It’s okay. It’s okay. Everything’s fine. It’s gonna be—” Her broke when Mia bursted into tears.

William looked up to her for a moment, his eyes glowing with tears and, somehow, hope. Then, he grabbed one of his sister’s hand and continued Felicity’s prayer.

“Shh, Mi-Mi. It’s fine. Everything’s gonna be fine.”

His voice was calm and soft, and the baby eventually stopped crying as she focused on the movement of his face, but it had an even bigger impact on their mother. There was a fierceness in his tone, something so certain and unquestionable, that she actually believed the words he hummed.

That until a day later, when her phone rang and William’s –deeper– voice on the other side was everything but calm and fierce, and it sure as hell wasn’t hopeful.

“ _Mom_. _Mom, they’re gone_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I do cliffhangers correctly?👀  
> Anyways, hi! So, you might also wonder what the hell was that first part?! Well, my dear friends, that is a weird, kinda complicated idea I had not long ago and decided to try it out. Maybe you already figured out what it is about, maybe not. If you did, congrats! I’ll try to surprise you next time. If you didn’t, don’t worry, I’m not sure I have it fully figured it out, either.   
> About the rest of it, of course little William is the softest big brother in the whole world and baby Mia adores him. I would die for any version of those kiddos.  
> Also, yes, Nyssa and Felicity are gonna shamelessly flirt through the whole fic. I’m not even sorry.  
> Thank you so much for reading! Don’t forget to leave kudos and comments and to reach out to me on Twitter (@ragnarokwn)! It really means a lot to me.


	4. Crisis and Squared Children, part 1.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> William has never felt this broken, so he calls the only person who can restore his hope. Sibling-bonding time is about to get stranger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this was supposed to be a completely different chapter but the dumbass crossover has me terribly mad and anxious so I had to write my feelings off and this came out.  
> If you’re feeling just as hopeless as I am, I hope this distracts you a little bit from canon shit. Or maybe it’ll make it worse, because I gotta say, it’s kinda angsty. But I do believe in happy endings and no story of mine will ever do these precious characters as dirty as the show is doing them, so there’s that.  
> Enjoy! Don’t forget to leave comments and kudos and reach out to me on Twitter (@ragnarokwn) to tell me what you thought! I accept constructive criticism and insults if I made you cry.

_This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening._

It was the only thought that flooded William’s mind following the event. 

He had looked everywhere. Everywhere. He had used drones, infrared thermal imaging, hacked every piece of technology there was on that damn place, he walked around for hours until Diggle forced him to stop and get on the boat. And there absolutely was no sign of his dad and sister.

They just _vanished_. 

Everyone tried to resonate with him, telling him that they were probably transported to another place for some reason, probably related to this upcoming crisis. And he knew they were probably right. But the way they say it, like it was just another Thursday night mission… they didn’t get it. They haven’t seen it, so they didn’t _understand_. They didn’t understand how big this was, how devastating this event was going to be, how dangerous. They didn’t understand that the last time his father disappeared like that, nobody saw him ever again. 

And now he was gone, and Mia was gone with him. Mia, his baby sister, the only real family he had left, the one he’d swore to protect, was somewhere in the multiverse, where she might have to fight in the greatest battle in the history of the multiverse, where their father was supposed to die… and he wasn’t there with her. No, he was in the stupid bunker, in front of the stupid computers, trying to get the stupid multidimensional tracker to work.

This could _not_ be happening.

“That’s it, you gotta stop,” he heard Connor say behind him, but he didn’t turn.

“Can’t do.”

It was just the two of them at the moment. The rest of the team was there for a while, but left when his search went slower than they thought it would; John had to go see JJ, Roy finally decided to get actual medical assistance after almost passing out twice, and the others… well, William didn’t pay attention to their explanations, and he didn’t really care, to be honest. Connor decided to stay there “as backup”, he’d said, after his dad promised to check on his mom and kid-self. 

(He actually stayed because, as much as he loved his dad, he wasn’t really _his dad_ yet, and with Mia missing, the person he felt the most comfortable with was William. And he really feared for his friend’s mental and emotional state, so leaving him alone wasn’t the best idea).

“Listen, man, I know you’re worried. I am, too, but this ain’t healthy. You need a break.”

“No, what I need is to find my family.” He tried to keep his voice dull, expressionless, because otherwise he’d yell. And he didn’t want to, because then he’d lose his focus, and because Connor didn’t deserve his anger. 

“You think they would like to see you like this?”

“I don’t know, I’ll ask them when I find them.”

 _Yeah, stubbornness definitely runs in the family_ , Connor thought, shaking his head. “Come on, William.”

He was really testing William’s patience. He counted to ten before saying, “Look, Connor, I appreciate that you worry about me, but I’m fine.”

A pause.

“Really? Well, that’s good for you. Because I’m not.”

Something is his voice made William’s hands stop over the the keyboard.

“I’m not,” Connor repeated, shrugging. “My mom disappeared. My...” he hesitated for half a second, “friend disappeared. There’s a lot of shit coming and I don’t know what to do to stop it, or even if it can be stopped. Man, I’m far from fine. I get it. But killing yourself working won’t do any good.”

The other man rolled in his chair to face him. He was outwardly calm, his red eyes totally blank, but there was a shuddering tightness in him, as if he was a hairsbreadth from exploding. “What do you remember from the crisis?”

That caught him off guard. He stammered, “Uh, I– Not much, really. My mom didn’t let me watch TV or through the window. I remember she was scared, trying not to show it. But I’m pretty sure most of my memories are from the news and stories I’ve heard.”

“I spent the whole time locked in my room,” William said very quietly, “watching every stream I could find, so I could see my dad. Because I _knew_ he was there. I knew. I was used to seeing weird and scary stuff, because, well, that’s what life is when you’re the kid of a hero _and_ you live in Central City. But that was… that was like nothing I had— that I _have_ ever seen.”

There was another pause, and a shiver went down Connor’s spine as he watched his friend.

“And then, Dad disappeared. Just like that. And I waited for _months_ , because I just couldn’t believe that it was true. Now I know it is. Just like you know that John and Lyla are gonna make it home. And I was fine with it, I accepted my dad’s death, mostly. But now, Mia is there. _Mia._ And I know you care about her, I do, and I don’t mean to underestimate your relationship, but…” His tone rose almost imperceptibly, “you don’t get it.”

Connor opened his mouth to say something about the timeline and future changing, but the words didn’t come out. Thinking about it, he was glad they didn’t, because he was not at all sure where he wanted to go with that thought. 

“I never was there for her,” William continued, and now his voice _was_ actually filled with anger, but not directed at the other man or anything else outside that room. “It wasn’t really my fault, but still, I wasn’t. So after I met her, I made a oath, that I would always be for her. And now I’m not. Now she’s god knows where, facing dangerous shit, and she’s most likely gonna see her father die, and she might even—”

He choked, and Connor flinched. None of them wanted to think about it. It was too painful to even consider, and yet… the possibility was there, dark and harrowing. Of losing one of the most important persons they had.

“And I’m not there for her,” William concluded in a whisper, turning back to the computer.

Silence took over again. Connor wanted to say something, anything, to comfort him and himself. _This isn’t your fault. She’s gonna be fine. She’s strong. She can take care of herself._ But that would’ve made him an hypocrite, because, _god_ , how hard he wanted to be with her as well. Because, yes, he knew just as good as William that Mia was strong, and that she could take care of herself, but that didn’t keep him from wanting to… maybe not “protect” her with the whole meaning of the word (because she would totally kick his ass if he said he wanted to protect her), but to help, have her back. The whole thing was so fucking frustrating for him, he couldn’t even imagine how hard it was for William. 

“You’re right. This sucks,” he said finally. “It really freaking sucks. Why did we have to get sidelined like this?”

William shrugged. “Because they hate minorities?”

Connor groaned and rubbed his hands against his face, leaning on the table next to him. 

The other man turned to see him; he looked like he had been hit by a truck. He was clearly tired, not to even mention how utterly upset he was. William wondered if he looked just as bad. Probably worse, he thought. 

“Hey, Connor, why don’t you go take a nap or something? This will take a while, you don’t need to stay here the whole time.”

“Uh-uh. If you stay, I stay.”

William sighed. No wonder why Mia and him got along: they were just as bullheaded. “Okay, fine. Why don’t you get us something to eat then? I’m starving.”

Connor squinted at him, suspicions at the sudden change of mind. After a few seconds, he decided whatever he was up to, at least it would make him stop his frenetic work for a while, so he nodded.

“I’ll be back in a minute.”

William’s eyes followed him as he left. Then, he shifted his focus back to the screens. Not that he didn’t find Connor’s company somewhat soothing, but… Well, it was distracting. As much as having someone who understood a little better he was going through was a relief, it did put even more pressure on his shoulders; he had one more person whose life would be completely shattered if something happened to Mia. And he was having a hard enough time concentrating, so being all by himself was—

A red sign popped up on the monitor all of the sudden, making him let out a strangled gasp and almost fall off his chair.

WARNING: COMPILATION ERROR DETECTED.

“ _What?!_ No!” He yelled, smacking his hand against the table. His fingers flew over the keyboard, eyes moving across the screen frantically, the way they move under one’s eyelids when you’re having the most horrific of nightmares.

This could _not_ be happening. The the source code couldn’t be defective, he had checked it over and over; his head wasn’t fully on it, but there was absolutely no way _he_ would make a coding mistake. It had to be the compiler. But the program was running perfectly before, so that wasn’t really likely. So it had to he the code. He had to check again… But the more he tried to focus his sight on the letters and numbers on the screen, the blurrier it got, and the harder it was to breathe.

His hands fell from the board onto his lap, shaking uncontrollably, and pushed the floor so the chair rolled away from the desks and to the center of the platform. 

_No_ , he thought to himself. _This is not a panic attack. It’s not. You don’t have time for this. You have to fix the program. You have to find your sister and dad. Your sister and dad that might as well be dead by now while you’re here doing nothing but pity yourself._

Well, that escalated quickly. He took a deep breath, trying to concentrate on anything that wasn’t the image of Mia and Oliver lying dead on the ground, or the one of Mia crying over her father’s body, or Oliver holding his baby girl in his arms as she died...

_Frack._

He rummaged into his pockets with a quaking hand and pulled out his cellphone, searching Felicity’s name on the contact guide. He’d been avoiding to call, because he didn’t want her to worry any more than she already was. But he was useless at the moment and he needed her to help with the software… and with everything else. 

After securing the line, he hit the green button and breathed in deeply again. He had to be careful, he knew. He had to keep his voice calm, his feelings under control, not to freak her out more than necessary. 

But then, she picked up and he just… couldn’t. Everything he had tried to bottle up and that was killing him inside just bursted the moment his mom’s soft voice pierced through his ears.

“Mom,” he cried, desperation and fear overflowing his voice as he broke into sobs that only would make his speaking even more unintelligible. “Mom, they’re gone. I-I lost them. They just vanished, I don’t–I don’t know what happened. I knew Dad was leaving, but then the sky went red and then I couldn’t find Mia and… Mom, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

At the cabin, Felicity, previously scattered on the coach, stood up, heart pounding fiercely inside her rib cage. 

“I need you,” William went on, sounding like a child pleading not to be abandoned. “I need your help, I don’t– I can’t do this. I’m useless, I’m a useless piece of crap, just like this stupid multidimensional tracker program that does not want to work―!”

“William!” she yelled to cut off her son’s rambling. 

She realized her mistake half a second later, when a younger, calmer William looked up at her with wide eyes. Sitting on his knees, his baby sister stared at her as well, half curious, half about to start crying. She could totally relate on the latter feeling. 

“Sorry, that came out too harsh.” She kept her voice cool as she covered the phone speaker, trying not to alarm him. “Uh, I need to take this. You think you can handle her on your own for a sec?”

The kid frowned as he bounced his legs to distract the infant, clearly not buying Felicity’s “coolness”. His eyes met hers, somehow trying to read her and figuring out how bad whatever that was happening was. Whether her acting skills weren’t as bad as she thought or William considered it was bad enough for him to not want to know right away, but he just nodded and smiled. “Yeah, I think I can keep this little monster under control.”

Felicity smiled him back, her heart hurting with many different and opposite emotions, and sneaked into Mia’s nursery. Closing the door behind her, she put the phone back against her ear. “William?”

“I’m–I’m here.”

She sighed, forcing herself to do a better job with her chill voice than he did with the smaller version of him. “Okay, honey. Can you tell me happened now? And I know I’m no place to ask this but, could you please talk slowly?”

“We were– we were on the island. We were about to went back, I-I said goodbye to Dad. He was staying there to― I don’t even know why, but he was convinced that the crisis was close and that he was gonna…” He gulped. “Well, you know. And Mia went with him to say goodbye, too. And suddenly this red light appeared… and they were gone. I looked everywhere, I don’t—”

His voice broke, and her heart along with it. Tears were streaming down her face. The fact that she already knew, deep down, that this crisis had started, didn’t make the confirmation any less terrifying. In fact, this was so much worse than she’d imagined. 

She knew there was a chance her children had gone with Oliver to… whatever it was he had to do. _This,_ it never occurred to her. She thought that, whatever happened, either they went with him or stayed behind, they —Mia and William— would have each other. That was her only comfort regarding the whole thing. _This_ wasn’t supposed to happen.

What was it with the damn universe that enjoyed keeping her family apart?

“Will, are you alone?” She asked softly.

“Connor was here, he-he went to grab some food,” he sounded calmer this time, but when he talked again, the sorrow in his tone was wrecking. Felicity let out a quiet sob that she hoped he didn’t hear. “I knew Dad was leaving. I knew he might… not be back. I hoped he would make it, but I knew. I mean, I had hope, but I lived this once. At least this time I got to say goodbye. But Mia, mom… She wasn’t supposed to go. We were gonna get back, together. I promised that I would take care of her, always, and now she’s gone on the most dangerous mission of all and I’m not with her! And yeah, she can take care of herself, you made sure of it, and she’s with Dad and I know he won’t let anything happen to her, but… She’s gonna be all alone if Dad—” He couldn’t bring himself to finish that sentence. “She won’t have anyone. She’s strong, I know that, but… she shouldn’t be strong for this, not alone. She should have someone there, someone that understands, someone she trusts. She _should not_ have to be alone for this. She doesn’t deserve it. This isn’t fair.”

 _Oh, my beautiful boy_. Felicity lowered the phone to her lap to make sure he didn’t hear her crying. 

It wasn’t enough that he might lose the only person he had left in the future, that he was left behind like he did so many times, but what wrecked him the most was that he wasn’t there for his little sister; that she might suffer and he won’t be there to comfort her. And he punished himself for that, she could hear it in his voice.

She wanted to say something. Hell, she wanted to hug him and take all of his pain away, or at least say something that made him feel better. But what could she possibly say? Within all the uncertainty, what could she say that wasn’t just a hopeful thought or straight up a lie?

“I know it isn’t,” she ended up saying, forgetting her first attempt to hide her trembling voice. “And I’m sorry. I’m so sorry this is happening to you—”

His voice was suddenly strong when he said, “Mom, this isn’t your fault.”

“Maybe. But neither is yours.”

There was a long silence. Part of him wanted to say, “I know”. But it wasn’t true. Sure, logically, he knew there was no way he could have avoided this, but… 

“William, it _is not_ your fault, are we clear?”

“Yeah. Yeah, okay.”

Felicity sighed. “God, I wish I could tell you that everything’s gonna be fine. I mean, I _could_ , but I don’t think it’s gonna be very convincing.” A soft laugh encouraged her a little bit. “But... Do you remember… when I told you that your dad is the best at what he does?”

He nodded eagerly, and then remembered she couldn’t see him. _Duh._ “Yes.”

“Well, that’s still true. And I know that may not mean anything to you, because of the future. But, you know, now he has someone with him, someone who is just as good as he is. And I have no doubt that they’re gonna take care of each other. Dad is not gonna let anything happen to Mia, and if she is half as stubborn as he and I—”

“Oh, she got it squared.”

She chuckled. “Well, then I’m certain that she won’t let him go just like that.”

“Yeah, I know she won’t.” 

“And I know it’s horrible, it–it’s terrifying and it’s frustrating and we _should_ be with them—” Her voice melted into a strangled sound.

When William realized the sound was actually a sob, his chest tightened. “Mom…”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m okay.”

“Mom, you don’t _have to_ be.”

“No, but I _need_ to be. It’s fine, I— What I mean is, the entire thing sucks. But I choose to believe that it won’t suck forever. The future is… already going to be so much different than you remember. So, I guess the only way we’re gonna make it through this mess is believing that it’s gonna change even more. You two already made a huge difference by being here, so maybe your sister being out there will make a difference, too.”

William sighed, wiping the tears off his face. Felicity’s power with words never ceased to amaze him. He was pretty good with them himself, he knew, pointless modesty aside; his motivational speeches were usually very effective. But with her, it was something else. She could find the tiniest shred of light in a world without a sun, and in just a few minutes, she would make everyone around her realize that was more than enough to illuminate their lives. His voice was soft and full of affection when he asked, “How do you do that?”

She sounded genuinely confused. “Do what?” 

“Always know what to say to make people feel better.”

“Oh. I don’t know, it’s a gift. I think I got it from my mom.”

He made a snuffling laughing-through-tears sound. _Yeah, I think I did, too_. 

“Listen, Will. I need you to calm down. I need you to stay away from the computers, take a break, eat something. Then, you’re gonna call me again, and we’re gonna track your dad and sister, _together_ , okay? You’re not alone.”

“Okay. Okay. Thank you, Mom.”

“You don’t need to thank me, honey.”

“Yeah, I—” Felicity frowned as he cut off and directed his voice to someone else. “Yeah, I’m fine. Don’t worry, I’ll be there in a minute, let me just— Sorry, Ma. Connor just came back.”

“Oh, that’s great. Go. And watch him, too, alright? I bet he’s not having a great time, either.”

“Yeah, I know. I will. I love you, Mom.”

“I love you, too, sweetie.”

The call was disconnected after a few seconds, and Felicity dropped herself on the rocking chair next to Mia’s crib. Well, that was… something. The crisis had officially started. Her husband was somewhere fighting in it. Her baby girl was with him. Her son was having a meltdown because he was worried about them. And she… she was helpless. There was nothing she could do and that was _killing her_. She wanted to scream. She wanted to scream and cry and swear and curse whatever bigger force that was doing this to her and her family.

But she didn’t get to do any of those things _—of course_ she wasn’t even allowed to catch a break and make catharsis. Just when a few tears escaped her eyes again, a rushing sound followed by William’s alarmed voice calling her name made every cell of her body freeze with terror.

She didn’t remember the last time she moved so fast; she jumped from her seat and flew to the door, her hand reaching to grab one of Mia’s rattles from her chest of drawers. She got to the living room in less than a second.

Her brain processed the scene piece by piece, almost in slow motion. The first thing she catched was William, curled up against a wall, one of his shoulders —the one he had Mia resting on— pressed against it and the other slouched forward, shielding the baby; he was looking over the free shoulder at whatever that was threatening them, his expression full of fear and his mouth twisted into a silent scream. But the look in his eyes was one of adamant determination: _Do not touch my sister._

Felicity threw herself between them and the still unknown danger without further thought, holding the rattle up like a baseball bat — _why_ couldn’t intruders show up when she was at the kitchen or somewhere she could grab a more useful weapon, damn it. She was blind with panic and anger and terror, but she was ready to jump forward and fight to her last breath so her children could run. It took her a few seconds to really _see_ the figure standing in front of her, and then—

“What the hell are _you_ doing here?”

***

_The moment stretches infinitely, seconds suspended into a brand new time structure, slowing and bending and spinning and allowing them to wrap themselves around each other for an instant that seems longer than all the years away._

_When she finally pulls apart for good, her hands are still clutching tightly to his neck, finger laced together on his nape. She knows she’s nearly hanging from him, for her quivering legs are providing null support to the rest of her body, but he doesn’t seem to mind. In fact, he looks quite comfortable as he holds her, firm although just as unstable as her._

_“What now?” She asks softly._

_It’s not him who replies, “Your mission has come to an end. All your love and sacrifice will be rewarded, for it have saved the entire multiverse.”_

_Felicity turns to look at The Monitor, eyes shining. “So, what? I thought you said there’s no return from here.”_

_“Not to the home as you know it. Bringing you here comes with a cost, and I cannot go back to the place you belong to. I can, however, take you elsewhere.”_

_They stare at him, expectant. She’s an inch from yelling at him to cut the secrecy and tell them. Making dramatic pauses to maintain the mystery of his speeches seems to be part of his cosmic superpowers, but she’s not in the mood for it, not even if that’s one of the greatest moments of her life._

_“Beyond space and time,” he starts, and she rolls her eyes, “and immune to its restraints, exists a heavenly dimension that was created as the embodiment of all positive matters of the universe. As such, no corrupt energies can exist within it, and only a handful of beings with the purest spirit are granted the privilege of spending the eternity there.”_

_“And I’m getting from this that we are part of those beings?” Oliver asked, rather apprehensive._

_“That is correct. The two of you have earned a high position in that dimension. You will be able to manipulate its physical reality the way you estimate convenient.”_

_Felicity loosens the grip on her husband’s head as she processes the information. “Just… the two of us?”_

_Mar Novu bows his head once._

_“But that’s…”_

_She looks up to see Oliver’s face. Although his expression seems calm, unreadable, but his eyes are completely vulnerable to her scrutiny —and hers only. He’s not looking directly at her, but she can see the contradicting feeling pouring from his soul, the doubt, the fear, the uncertainty. When his gaze meets hers, she knows it, she knows he’s thinking the exact same thing she is. She can all but see the images of their children, of their family, filling her husband’s mind._

_He confirms her thoughts with a soft, almost imperceptible nod of his head._

_“_ No _,” she says then, and her voice has never sounded so determined._

***

The Monitor blinked impassively at her. “Your assistance is requested.”

Felicity scoffed, throwing the toy she was clinging to onto couch. “Listen, I don’t know who you think you are, but you have to _stop_ breaking into my home making muddy demands _._ ”

“I am Mar Novu, the—”

“I _know_ who you are and I don’t give an F.”

With a roll of eyes, she turned to hold William and Mia. The boy was still shaking; the baby seemed confused and slightly annoyed. 

“It’s okay. You’re safe, everything’s fine,” she muttered, stroking her son’s hair. 

“Who-who is that?” He asked, melting into her embrace.

“That is… an acquaintance of your dad’s. He’s, uh, he’s helping him save the world.”

“The _multiverse_ , in fact,” the cosmic being corrected.

“Shut up.”

She tightened the grip on her children and sighed deeply, trying to regulate her erratic breathing and heartbeat as the adrenaline trailed off from her body and she started to feel the impact of almost (potentially) losing both of them at once. _They’re okay. They’re safe. Everything’s fine._

“Miss Smoak,” Novu spoke again, urging, “this is a critical matter—”

“I said _shut up_.”

William laughed softly. He didn’t know that guy, but by the look on his face when Felicity talked back at him like that, he assumed he wasn’t used to that kind of treatment.

With another sigh, she squeezed the kids one last time, then pulled apart and kissed his head and Mia’s cheek.

“Would you go to your room and stay there while I talk to him, please?” When he looked doubtful, she forced a reassuring smile. “It’s okay. I promise it won’t take long. Everything’s fine.”

But the wetness on her eyes and face and the fact that she kept saying “everything’s fine”, like trying to convince herself rather than him, didn’t exactly help to _reassure_ him _._

The boy used his free hand to brush Felicity’s cheek and catched a few tears between his fingers. The caress was sweet yet a little awkward; he still wasn’t fully used to give that kind of tenderness to anyone (Mia being the surprising exception lately), not the way he did with his first mom, but he was getting there. 

The woman’s tight smile wavered, fading into a smaller, more genuine one. 

“I-I’m gonna be in Mia’s room,” he said, still unsure but resigned. “It’s almost naptime.”

Felicity nodded and watched them go. She had to hold back the urgency to stop them and wrapping them in her arms again. Then, she turned back to the man in front of her and raised her brows expectantly.

“As my initial intent of saving the multiverse has not befallen as I first intended, I saw myself forced to go back into the stream of time and retrieve the Book of Destiny that your husband destroyed last—”

“I’m sorry,” she interrupted, holding up a hand. “What do you mean it didn’t _befall as you intended_?”

The Monitor was momentarily baffled. “I–I do not see how that is of importance.”

“I don’t know. Aren’t you so smart and powerful? How did you let your plan just _fail_ like that?”

“I did not—” He frowned, looking dangerous hesitant. “Something that I had not previously considered in my strategy occurred and changed the course.”

“But _what_?”

“Miss Smoak, we have no time for this.”

She narrowed her eyes at him, suspicious, but then shrugged. “Fine. Go on.”

“With the Book’s wisdom, I learnt of the existence of seven individuals, that hold inside them the capacity to turn the tide of destiny. They are known as Paragons. With their help, we may—”

“Sorry, I thought you were in a rush? I mean, not that I’m not enjoying your story, though it _is_ a little dreary, but what do you want from _me_?”

“I need you to find those Paragons.”

“How?”

“By using the knowledge of another cosmic book, the Tomb of the Guardians.”

Felicity snorted. “Catchy. Why me?”

“As the Book of Destiny, this book shares a metaphysical connection only with whomever it deems worthy, letting the individual read it and acquire its erudition. Only the greatest minds and the brightest souls possess what it takes to earn that connection, and to comprehend the weight of its secrets.”

“Wow,” she exclaimed, although she didn’t sound really surprised. “Well, I always thought I could lift Mjolnir. Alright, you win. Give me the book”

Mar Novu shook his head. “You will have to come with me.”

“But I can’t just… Ugh, you just love making my life difficult, huh?”

“I am trying to s—”

“Yeah, yeah. Save the multiverse, whatever. I need to call Nyssa.”

“I’m afraid Miss Raatko is not available, for she is serving another purpose in—”

“Are you _kidding_ me? You _stole_ my babysitter as well?” The cosmic being stared at her with an apologetic and lowkey scared expression. “What do I do now? Huh? Bring them with me? Do you have a childcare facility called ‘The Baby Monitor’ wherever your taking me? Who am I supposed to—?”

She cut her sassy rambling as an idea showed up in her mind. A weird, potentially confusing, probably-not-the-best, idea. Novu tilted his head, somewhat intrigued.

“Is there any way you could bring my son here? I mean my _adult_ son —I bet you had something to do with that as well—, he could take care of Mia. Oh, and Connor, too, of course.”

He seemed caught off guard. “You do realize the psychological and general hazards of having two…?” His warning faded as he saw her do-not-bullshit-me-right-now face. “Ah, I suppose it is not that critical, all things considered. As you wish.”

And then, in a blink, with a bright explosion of light and a loud _whoosh_ sound, two figures materialized and stumbled next to him. 

William cursed as he spilled the soda he was holding on his shirt, then looked around with wide eyes. At his side, Connor, a dropped his arms to his sides, leaving half-eaten burger hanging from his mouth.

Felicity yelled at The Monitor, “What did you _do_?!”

He didn’t seem to understand the issue. “Is this not what you—?”

“You were supposed to _wait_ until I talked to him, you piece of—?”

William moved closer to her, looking just as about-to-collapse as her. “Mom, what is this?!”

“ _‘Mom’?_ ”

Their heads flicked in sync as they turned to see the source of the voice. William let out a strangled sound, a mixture of a gasp, a sob and an “o _hmygod.”_

Standing in the hall doorway, with baby Mia —who had been clearly not persuaded into naptime— heavied on his hip, 13 year-old William looked at his mom in confusion. “Felicity, what’s going on?”

Felicity was at the edge of a nervous breakdown.


	5. Crisis and Squared Children, part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> William enjoys some quality me-time. Connor freaks out. Mia heads to fulfill a promise, but it does not go exactly as planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing this was the wildest, most exhausting experience ever and I do not want to do it ever again.  
> Enjoy!

There was a ten-second moment during which every single person in the cabin just stared at each other in complete silence, only broken by Mia’s adorable but kind of inappropriate giggles. The infant, for one, seemed to be enjoying the occasion tremendously, for the different levels of astonishment and shock on everyone’s faces were highly amusing. 

William — _ teen _ William— couldn’t help but smile at her, just briefly, before turning back to his mom.

“Felicity?” He insisted, trying to get something,  _ anything  _ that explained why their home was suddenly full of strangers, including one that just called her ‘mom’. 

The woman blinked her comically wide eyes, her lips parted as if she was about to say something but couldn’t get the words together. That would have been accurate, if it wasn’t for the fact that she had no freaking idea what she wanted to say. She looked at her companions, tacitly begging for some help. But they were definitely not very helpful. Hadn’t that been the most bizarre and stressful situation she’d had to endure, she would have laughed.

Connor still had the burger in his mouth and was standing in a something similar to fighting stance —he was tense, his feet were staggered and separated, and his hands were in fists, but his arms were hanging floppy on each side of his body. He was looking around half dazed, like he had just woken up from a dream. There was something in his expression, something that very clearly said ‘I have no idea what is happening but this is not what I signed up for’ that reminded Felicity a lot of Diggle. 

William, on the other hand, was looking at that younger version of himself with a very peculiar expression. Mostly, he seemed to be shocked and panicked and one millisecond away from throwing himself off a window and start running as far as he could. But his eyes glistened in such a way, not only from the tears from his last breakdown that he still couldn’t get rid of, but also because of that amazing image of his kid-self with his baby sister comfortably settled in his arms. Regardless the whole situation and the fact that he was pretty sure he was going to pass out any moment then, he was filled with some weird, twisted sense of peace. Because this not only meant he was going to grow up with Mia, but also that, maybe, just maybe, his father might actually make it back home this time.

_ You two already made a huge difference by being here, so maybe your sister being out there will make a difference, too. _

“Felicity,” the kid called again, exasperated, “who are these people?!”

When his mom (or was it  _ their _ mom? Gosh, that was confusing) didn’t seem to react at all, his adult counterpart cleared his throat. 

“I’m… you. From the future,” he blurted out, deadpan. After a beat, he pointed to his side and added, “That’s Connor.” Then, he noticed the other man standing in front of them. “I don’t know who that is.”

“I am Mar Novu—”

Felicity snapped, “Oh, my god,  _ shut up _ .”

She lifted her glasses for a second to rub her eyes, then gestured to the men to wait a second and walked to her small and very, very confused son. 

“Did he just say—?”

“Yes. Let me just—”

She took Mia from his arms and turned to the adults, quickly assessing whether or not they were currently in the emotional and physical space to hold a baby. Connor had finally taken the burger out of his mouth, but now he had it half smashed in hands, not seeming to mind that there were covered in what she presumed was ketchup and mustard and bits of chewed meat. William looked a little more stable now, but his hands were visibly shaking as he looked at the framed pictures on the hall table and grabbed the newest one —William and Mia lying on their stomachs, side by side, their cheeks pressed together as they smiled— to take a better look at it. She concluded none of them was in condition of holding anything at all, much less a tiny and very-much-breakable human. With a sigh, she went to her last option; well, if he were going to steal or hurt her children, he probably would’ve done it by now, she thought. 

The Monitor frowned as she held the child out to him, but, to everyone’s surprise, he ended up cradling her between his arms after a second. Mia looked at him with interest, then squealed and stretched out to grab one of his shiny shoulder plates.

Felicity turned back to William. 

“Yes, he did say that,” she said again, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and steering him to the couch. “And he’s… telling the truth.”

His eyes went impossibly wide as he sat down.

“Miss Smoak,” The Monitor called, pleading. Mia was now playing with his cape. “We need to leave now.”

“ _ Leave _ ?!” The boy sounded fully panicked this time. “Leave where?! Where are you going?”

The woman directed another withering look at Mar Novu, then turned to her son. “Just for a few hours, I promise, I need to help him with something.”

“No, please don’t go!”

“Will…”

“Miss Smoak—”

“ _ Not _ right now!”

“The multiverse needs you.”

“ _ The multiverse  _ will have to wait five more minutes so I can explain this mess to my kids.” The strength in her voice left no place for an argument. The cosmic being sighed in resignation.

Felicity fidgeted, her hands hovering anxiously over William’s body, not knowing what to do to make the conversation less disturbing; she cupped his face, then stroked his hair, patted his shoulders and finally decided to hold both of his hands into hers.

“Remember when I said I had a close experience with time travel?” She asked with a high-pitched voice.

William was somehow both calm and on the brink of freaking out. “Yes.”

“Well, turns out, that close experience included you… and your sister, from the future.”

The kid nodded slowly. “You… kind of forgot to tell that little detail.”

He threw a furtive look at the man still staring at the photo, then back at his mom with a grimace. “This is so weird. What about Connor?”

“Oh, yeah, Connor. He’s– he  _ will  _ be Dig’s son. I actually didn’t meet him last time, but he came here with them.”

“Us.”

“Sorry?”

“He came here with  _ us _ .”

“Oh… I guess. But it’s easier to process if you think of them as completely different individuals.”

He considered it and nodded. Then, he looked concerned, “And do you really need to go?”

“Yes, sweetie, I’m sorry. But you’ll be with them, okay? I trust them with my life. And I promise I’m gonna be right back, I just need to find some people for this guy. You know, he pretends he’s so cool and smart, with the cape and all, but he’s actually very useless.”

The Monitor heard that and quirked the corner of his mouth. Apparently, standing there hearing intimate conversations was part of his job as well.

Felicity watched William carefully, trying to get a hint of his feelings through his thoughtful expression. After a moment, she gave up and squeezed his hands. “Honey, are you okay?”

“I’m fine. This is just…  _ sooo  _ weird. I’m gonna babysit  _ myself _ .”

“Mmh. Yes, it is really weird.”

“But, like, not the weirdest thing that’s happened lately, you know?”

“Ah, yeah, I guess you’re right.” She laughed softly. “You’re amazing, you know that?”

“Mm-hm. Though  _ I  _ also look about to throw up on your carpet.”

The woman peered past her son to… her son, who was now next to Connor, anxiously looking at Novu with Mia. “I should—”

“Yeah, go.”

She kissed his forehead, then got up and walked to the clearly distressed pair. She placed a hand on each of the men’s arms. “Hey.”

“Is-is this gonna become a habit? The transportation thing?” Connor asked dizzily. “Because it’s happened _three_ times in a month and next time I’ll _definitely_ puke.”

She pursed her lips. “Sorry about that. It wasn’t supposed to happen so abruptly. You okay?”

“Yeah,” William muttered. “It just… caught us by surprise.”

The other man sighed wistfully. “I left my fries in the bunker.”

Felicity chuckled, then tilted her head to take a more cautious look at him. After a moment of deliberation, she said, “Huh. You are handsome. Mia clearly inherited her mother’s good taste.” When he looked downward and blushed, she laughed again and reached to hug him. “It’s so good to finally meet you, honey.”

That made Connor’s mind inevitably go back to four years ago (or, technically, 17 years into the future), when she stepped into that house for the first time, not knowing his next assignment would change his life forever. Felicity’s face had been smudged with tiredness and fear even more than it was right now: the face of someone who had lost everything in life. She had smiled when she saw them, but saying it didn’t reach her eyes was an understatement. It was genuine, but it was also meant to hide the fact that she was absolutely wrecked; hadn’t been for the redness in her eyes, she might have fooled a regular person. But his father introduced him, her expression truly lit up. 

“ _ What a handsome young man _ ,” she’d said as she embraced him, so soft and happy and motherly, like that wasn’t the first time she ever saw him. “ _ It’s so good to finally meet you, honey _ .”

He had noticed how hard she tried to keep her facade through the whole meeting, looking strong and focusing on make them feel welcome and comfortable (at that she succeeded) as much as she could. Not exactly because she  _ wanted  _ to look strong, he guessed, but because she was so used to forcing herself to do it so her loved ones wouldn’t worry that it became a habit. She only broke with his father, when she went for some tea and he followed; he’d heard her muffled sobs, but when she returned to the living room she looked just the same as before.

When he started at her now after she pulled apart, he wondered how hard she was trying to stay impeccably put-together, given that she had her children, the main reason why she wanted to look that way, with her.

He smiled at her. “It’s great to see you, too.”

William let out a small gasp as he watched his small self walk to the Monitor with a distrustful frown and snatched Mia out of his arms. The little girl looked confused for a moment, because she was very entertained with exploring guy’s armor, but smiled brightly when she realized it was him holding her now; he blew raspberries on one of her chubby cheeks and she giggled.

“You really changed things,” the man said to Felicity, smiling softly.

“Of course I did,” she said as she brushed his cheek. 

He huffed out a shaky breath. “So, I take it you brought us here for a reason?”

“Right. Yes. I gotta go with the Monitor for a few hours and I need you to stay here and take care of the kids.”

“Wait, that’s the… Monitor? Does this have something to do with Dad? Are you seeing him?”

“No, I don’t think so. I have to… read a book and find some people or something, I didn’t really hear the whole story. But I am gonna get as much info as I can about your father and Mia, okay? Anyway, I can’t bring the kids with me.. Would you mind watch them for me?”

William nodded immediately. Connor looked more hesitant, but agreed after a few seconds.

“Thank you. Thank you, I swear I’ll be back very soon, it won’t—”

The Monitor pressed, “ _ Miss Smoak _ —”

“You are a  _ serious  _ pain in the ass, did you know that?” She rolled her eyes. “Alright. There’s nothing made for dinner, but there’s a lot of stuff to make, Nyssa went grocery shopping yesterday and she exaggerates a little. Uh,” —she was racing through words now, slurring them together— “there’s pumped milk in the fridge and formula in the cupboard, just in case. Mia’s feeding and sleeping schedule is on the little board on her room, but she doesn’t always follow it, so if you see she’s—”

“Fe-li-ci-ty.” Little William was now standing next to her, his little sister facing forward in his arms. “Relax. I know everything there is to know about this little nugget. We’re gonna be fine.”

She sighs and gives an unconvincing nod before awkwardly managing to pull everyone into a hug.

“I love you all. Don’t party too much while I’m gone.”

“Can’t make any promises,” adult William joked.

Felicity laughed softly, then let them go. She tried not to seem too worried as she walked to the Monitor and told him she was ready. He nodded, and before she could even look over her shoulder to see her children, she was embraced in white light and then… gone.

Young William looked at his sister, who had her little eyes very open in a very cute confused expression. “Ah, this is totally totally gonna mess with her object permanence development.”

Connor looked baffled. “What?”

“It’s when they learn things still exist—”

“Even when they don’t see them.”

The two Williams looked at each other and smiled. 

“Alright, so, who’s in charge here?” The little one asked.

“Well, all things considered, I think she’s the most qualified.” Adult Will pointed at Mia. “May I?”

The boy looked troubled for a second, not wanting to let go of his baby sister. Then, he realized  _ he  _ was not technically letting go, so he handed her to his taller counterpart, who made a funny face and cuddled her against his chest.

“Hi, Mi-Mi,” he cooed. “It’s good to see you again, sissy!”

“How are you so okay with this?” Connor sounded slightly freaked out. “That’s  _ you _ . You’re talking to yourself,  _ literally _ .”

“Oh, come on. With everything that’s happened lately, this is a breeze. At least now we know what’s happening.”

The other man shook his head in disbelief. “I saw myself from distance once, while I watched my mom, and I  _ lost  _ it.” When little William looked confused, he explained, “My first mom, Sandra. John and Lyla are gonna adopt me after she dies.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

“It’s fine. It was hard, but I was lucky to end up with them as my parents.”

Will smirked softly. “Yeah, I feel you.”

A loud giggle from Mia made them turn their attention to the other pair. William had her up in front of his face and was loudly kissing her belly, tickling her, and she was eagerly shaking her arms and legs, partly from joy and partly to make him stop.

Connor laughed and reached out to take one of her tiny hands, but his friend stepped back.

“Uh-uh. Go wash your hands first, you’re covered in food.”

“And you’re covered in Coke!” He looked appalled and hurried to add, “I mean  _ Coke _ , not  _ coke _ . Coke as in,  _ soda. _ Don’t do drugs.”

Young William coked an eyebrow at him. “You know, some might say that’s just as bad.”

“Don’t listen to them,” older William said, sitting on the couch. “The studies for long-term consequences in humans are gonna be inconclusive.”

“Really?”

“Uh-huh. But still, don’t drink too much, it  _ might  _ have something to do with your insomnia getting worse.”

“I-I don’t have insomnia.”

The man stared blankly. “Right.”

“You should really stop talking,” Connor said, then disappeared into the kitchen.

Will dropped himself on the couch next to her sister and… well, himself. The infant smiled brightly at him.

“So, what’s the future like?” He asked as he shook one Mia’s arms, making her show an even wider toothless grin.

“Pretty sure you’re smart enough to know you should  _ not _ make that question.”

“Am I?”

“ _ Yes. _ Anyway, I have no idea.”

“Okay, I get it. But just tell me one thing: when do we become such a killjoy, huh?”

“Just after our sixteenth birthday.” 

The kid snorted and gave himself a look.

“I’m serious, I really don’t know. Things changed, your future is gonna be different than mine.”

“How do you know?”

“Well, for starters, this is the first time  _ I _ see this cabin.”

“What?”

“Yeah, uh… Maybe I shouldn’t—”

“Come on. It’s not gonna happen anyway.”

William sighed, looking conflicted. He was right, kind of; all those rules about the not knowing much about future didn’t really apply if that future wouldn’t actually happen. But still, all that information might do funny things to his young brain.

On the other hand, by the way the kid was glaring at him, he was  _ clearly _ not gonna let the matter drop like that. 

“It’s… kind of depressing, really.”

“I can take it.”

“I know you can, kiddo. I _really_ do.” He sighed. “Last time… Mom didn’t go get me. After I left, I never saw her again, or heard from her. Well, I did, but only, like, a year ago… or 20 years from now, I guess. She sent me a message and brought me back to the city. By the way, do not _ever_ throw the Hozen away. Just in case.”

“You-you never saw her again?”

For a second, William regretted telling himself that. He could see the confusion and sadness in the boy’s face, as he probably imagined what a life without Felicity and Mia would look like.

(But, actually, he was remembering the woman’s words when she went to his grandparents’ house the first time; the guilt —now he recognized it— as she apologized for almost not coming).

“Why? I don’t understand…”

“I–I’m not sure I understand it, either. I just recently found out that my grandparents blocked the calls and stuff, so I never really got to ask her what happened back then.”

“It doesn’t make sense.”

“I know. It’s… really frustrating. But, well, I know the important part of it: that my parents love me. I guess that’s enough.”

Young William shook his head in disagreement.

“Oh, come on, kid, don’t get mad. It’s not even your future. I’m not mad, you can’t get mad. That’s the rules.”

“Your rules are dumb. What about Mia?”

“Oh, yeah. Mom made sure I’d find her when I got back. Of course, she wasn’t as cute and chubby and tiny as this little munchkin, but—”

“She came with you, right? To the… past? Where is she?”

That hit a sensitive spot, and William grimaced. “She’s… with Dad. Helping him save the universe.”

“Oh. She fights?”

“That’s an understatement. She’s  _ badass. _ Probably would beat Dad if she wanted to. She’s–she’s just great.”

The boy didn’t fail to notice the worry and melancholy in his future-self’s voice. 

“Well, if she’s as good as you say she is, she’ll be fine. And I’m sure she and Dad are gonna take care of each other.”

“That–that’s exactly what Mom said.” 

While little William wanted to say something else to comfort himself, his attention was snapped by the way his future analogue kept referring to Felicity. So naturally, with no embarrassment or guilt, in a way he almost envied. 

He gathered courage to ask, “Can I ask you something else?”

“I’d rather you didn’t, but sure.”

“When did you start calling Felicity ‘mom’?”

“Oh. Well, uh… I don’t know. It think with time I just mentally called her that, and then when I met Mia it just… came easier out loud I guess.”

The teenager nodded thoughtfully, and William looked at him, trying to find a tactful way to help. He felt suddenly overwhelmed. It hadn’t been an issue to him for years, but now he remembered the struggle vividly; wanting to say the word, feeling it with every fiber of his being, but partly thinking it would be betraying Samantha to do so. Maybe it had something to do with empathy, or some time travel weird memory trick. Either way, he tried to search for the right words, something he wished someone had said to him instead of getting defensive and sort of invalidate the feeling like his grandparents did.

“You shouldn’t worry about it,” he finally said, as gently as he could. “You know, for the way my life turned out, I had to deal with a  _ lot  _ of issues. But Felicity being my mom wasn’t one of them. Even when I was angry at her because I thought she abandoned me, I never stopped thinking about her like that. Maybe that’s why it came easier for me, because I tried to not feel it but couldn’t. You’ll say it when you feel it —like,  _ really  _ feel it. And I assure you, Mom —Samantha, I mean— wouldn’t be mad at you for saying it.” 

He watched small him purse his lips for a moment, doubtful, then nod. “Yeah. I know she wouldn’t.”

Connor, who had been hiding in the kitchen for the past five minutes after washing his hands, because he didn’t want to interrupt that emotional but, in his opinion, mind-blowing moment, stepped in then. “So, who’s making dinner? I didn’t get to finish my meal because we got  _ whooshed _ here and I’m  _ starving _ .”

“Are you ever gonna stop talking about your unfinished meal?”

“I left my  _ fries _ , William.”

The man rolled his eyes with a smile. “Alright, I’ll cook.”

“I’ll go with you,” little William said. “Mia’s probably getting hungry, too.”

His other self handed the baby to Connor, who gave her a weird look before sitting and placing her on his knees.

Not full five minutes after the pair entered the kitchen, an loud exclamation made them rush back to the living room. Connor had his arms stretched in front of him, awkwardly grasping Mia with his hands, and a horrified expression on his face. 

“I can’t do this,” he said, offering the infant to any of them.

“Why?” His friend asked.

“Because this is  _ Mia _ .”

“And?”

“ _ And? _ And I  _ made out  _ with her!”

Both of Williams looked baffled for a second, until their faces turned into identical ( _ duh _ ) masks of horror. They exclaimed at the same time,

“ _ Dude _ !”

“ _ What _ ?!”

The boy hurried to grab his little sister, protectively cradling her against his shoulder. 

“No, no, no,” the older one said. “That is  _ not  _ a thought you should have right now!” 

“I didn’t mean to! I just— I did  _ not _ sign up for this! When I joined Knightwatch, time-travel and teleportation and meeting baby-versions of your… partner was  _ not  _ in the contract!”

“Yeah, well, welcome to the real world, pal!” 

Young Will was too disturbed to ask what the hell Knightwatch was, so he just hugged Mia tighter and went grab her bottle from the kitchen counter. He said, “I’m gonna feed her. We’re gonna be in her nursery. Forever. Good night.” And then left the room dramatically.

Connor rubbed his hand with his palms. “God, this is gonna put me in therapy.”

“Just… stop thinking and come help me with dinner, okay?”

* * *

Mia’s breath became more irregular as she walked closer to the cabin, and not exactly because of exhaustion. She had asked Barry to drop her at the outsides of the neighborhood, no matter how much he insisted on accompany her the rest of the way. Partly, because she wanted to have some time alone to figure out what the heck she was going to say to her mother. Also, because she didn’t  _ really _ know the guy, and she wasn’t about to let him know exactly where she lived… or used to live, anyway.

But the ten minutes of walking and thinking did absolutely nothing for her, because when she reached the entrance, she still had no clue what she was doing.

She was about to face her mother. She was going to tell her everything that happened. But how could she possibly start? What was she supposed to say? ‘Hey, mom, what’s up? I was just passing by to see how you were doing, have a cup of coffee or something. Also, Dad died’? And she wasn’t ever sure if he was  _ actually _ still dead. Which, surprisingly, made everything worse. Because not only she had to tell her he had died, she also had to explain that his soulless body was still fully functional because she freaking threw it into a magic pool, but then she tried to get his soul back but he had to go do something else. 

In brief, she didn’t know anything at all, except that her dad’s last wish was for her to tell Felicity how much he loved her. And since she failed to save him and then to bring him back, that was the least she could do for him. So, there she was.

She took a few brave steps into the front yard, fully knowing that would activate an alarm and let her mom know she was there, but she stopped halfway as she felt tears itching her eyes. 

_ Don’t _ , she thought to herself harshly.  _ Don’t cry. You cannot go in there crying. You held it together all this time since he died, you can’t lose it now. For her. Don’t break. _

And then, the front door opened, and a figure that was very clearly not Felicity showed up. 

She was slightly relieved. “William? What are you doing here?”

Her brother rushed down the stairs, but then walked to her slowly, almost fearfully as he scrutinized her with his eyes, looking for any sign of injuries. When he was standing in front of her, he reached a hesitant hand to touch her. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” is what she wanted to say. But she didn’t. Her voice broke, and whatever emotional barrier she tried to build before crumbled with her, and next thing she knew she was sobbing against her brother’s chest. 

William embraced her tightly, trying to control his own hiccuping breaths as tears of pain and relief and helplessness streamed down his face. She was there. She was alive, and she was there, and she was absolutely wrecked in every way but physically. He brushed her tangled hair with one hand and rubbed her back with another, his touch as gentle and soothing as it could be. He was certain it wouldn’t make her feel better, but what else could he do? What could he say that would release her pain? 

So, he held her. He held her as she cried, as she screamed, as her knees gave up and she wasn’t even able to stand by herself. He held her for a long, excruciating time, until none of them had any tears left. And even after, he held her.

“I’m couldn’t bring him back,” she whimpered with a little voice, and his heart broke again.

“It’s not your fault,” he said softly, trying to keep his voice from shaking too much. 

“I couldn’t save him and I couldn’t bring him back, Will. I’m so sorry.”

“No, no, Mi-Mi, no.” He pushed her back a little, just enough to look at her. Her face was all wet with tears, eyes puffy and red spots on her nose and cheeks. “It’s not on you, do you understand? It’s not. He–he did what he had to do, okay?”

Mia was almost convinced by her brother’s determined voice. But not quite. 

“He wanted to come back,” she told him, gaze towards the ground. “When I went to the Purgatory, he was so relieved to see us. He wanted to live. He wanted to live…”

William was confused, but he pulled her back into his arms. “Do you– do you want to tell me what happened? It’s okay if you’re not ready—”

“No, no, it’s okay. You-you deserve to know.” She took a deep breath, not making any effort to reject her brother’s embrace. “He-he died after the first battle… I’m not sure when, I–I think time worked differently then. He–he saved a lot of people from another Earth.”

The man nodded softly.  _ Of course he did. _

“Then, we— Sara and John, I mean, we–we used a Lazarus Pit in some other Earth to bring his body back. This Constantine guy tried to get his soul, but he couldn’t, so we went to—”

“Let me guess: yet another Earth?”

Mia chuckled. “Yeah. It was a lot Earths. Well, um, there we— I’m not totally sure what happened, there, but I–I we met the Devil.”

“The…  _ Devil _ Devil? As in, horns and tail and fire?  _ That _ Devil?”

“Well, I don’t know about the horns and tail, but he’s definitely got the fire.” At William’s confused face, she grinned. “He was… really charming.”

“Huh. I guess that makes sense. Do you... happen to remember what Earth that was?”

Mia shook her head. “I don’t think he’s your type, anyway. You deserve better.”

The man sighed theatrically. “Okay, so, you met the Devil and…?”

“Right. Uh, he gave us a little card that somehow took us to the Purgatory. Dad was there. He was–” She took a shivering breath. “He didn’t recognize us at first, but then he was– he was so happy to see us. But then, uh, another guy showed up and–and told him he had to… fulfill his destiny or some shit. Save the ones he loved and everyone else. So he… left. I don’t know where but he just… disappeared. I–I didn’t even– I didn’t even get to tell him I loved him.”

“He knows. Wherever he is, he knows.”

She nodded. 

Part of William wanted to be happy, to tell her that maybe, just maybe, this meant Oliver would come back after all. That things would be different. That he already died and returned, so maybe… But he didn’t have the strength to fool himself, to give Mia hope only to suffer again in the end. 

So, he just said, “I’m so sorry I wasn’t there with you.”

Mia looked at him, confused. “But that wasn’t your fault.”

“I know. But still, I should’ve been there for you.”

“William, don’t be stupid, I—”

He shook his head. “Okay, just forget it. Let’s go inside. Dinner should be ready.”

The woman frowned as she followed him to the door. “What are you doing here, anyway?”

“We are on babysitting duties.”

“ _ We? _ ”

William just winked. Once inside, a delicious smell hit her, along with the warmth of the home she didn’t realized she missed that much. And then—

“Connor?”

The man walked to her carefully. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m—” She was cut by his body collapsing with hers, firm arms around her shoulders. 

“I was so worried, Mia,” he muttered into her hair.

“I’m fine. I am, I—” She sighed and allowed herself to admit something she would probably deny later, “I missed you.”

He pulled apart to look at her. “I missed you, too.”

They locked eyes for what seemed an eternity. Connor placed his hands on each side of Mia’s face, softly brushing her cheekbones –still stained with tears– with his thumbs. She sighed again, a different kind of sigh this time; one she had only discovered when she met him. He bended forward, just enough so his forehead was resting on hers, and she closed her eyes. 

Maybe it was because it had been a while since the last time, or merely the experience of being so dangerously apart, but the kiss shook both of them to the core. It was barely something; just soft, brief brush of their lips. Nothing extraordinary, for them, at least. But when they opened their eyes again, they could see their own amazement reflected on the other’s eyes.

An bad attempt of a low voice made them break eye contact.

“What are you doing?!” William shout-whispered.

“Is that—?”

“Go back to your room, this is definitely gonna do weird things to your mind!”

“But—”

Mia cleared her throat and almost stopped breathing when two very similar expressions looked back at him. The shorter one was carrying a baby —no, not any baby, she remembered, baby  _ her _ — in his arms, holding up a bottle she was drinking with one of his hands.

“See?” William told to the kid. “Now we ruined the moment.”

“Oh, my god,” the woman gasped. “Is that—?”

“Him?” The boy smirked softly. “Yeah.”

She opened her mouth to ask “How?” but then closed it because it was very freaking obvious  _ how _ . So, she pointed at the infant and babbled, “Well, I–I’m… her.”

“Yeah, I figured,” little William said, and tilted his head. “You really look like Felicity.”

“I get that a lot.”

The boy’s expression shifted suddenly as he remembered something. “He… said you were with Dad, right?”

Mia’s heart dropped. She managed to put up a decent blank expression as she figured out what to say. “Yeah, uh… I was, but he had to leave on his own for a while to do something. You know, saving the multiverse and stuff. I wanted to go with him, but you know how he is, stubborn, likes to do things his own way.”

She rolled her eyes with fake annoyance. Then, she walked closer to him and placed a soft hand on his arm and smiled. “ _ But  _ he asked me to come here and tell you how much he loves you. I mean, not  _ here _ here, I was supposed to find Mom here, not any of version of you, but— You get it. He really needed you to know it.”

Young William nodded, looking just a little sad. “I know.”

Suddenly, baby Mia in his arms squealed and leaned forward, little hands extended in her counterpart’s direction. The woman widened her eyes in surprise. 

“Huh. Self-love has never been more literal,” adult William said with a grin. “Come on, sis, hold her. Or are you going to freak out like Connor did?”

Mia raised an eyebrow at her partner. “You freaked out?”

“I— It’s  _ baby-you _ ! How am I supposed to  _ not  _ freak out! I just  _ kissed _ adult her—! Oh, god.”

“That’s gross, man,” she said, amused. Then, she sighed and carefully took the little girl off her brother’s arms and cradled her in hers. “Hi, me.”

“Here,” the boy handed her the half-empty bottle. “Make sure she drinks the whole thing.”

“This is  _ so _ weird.”

“No, it’s not weird,” older William said, and paused for a dramatic effect. “Do you know what this  _ is _ ?”

There was something in his voice that made everyone look at him. He was smiling almost mischievously.

Mia rolled her eyes and asked warily, “What William?”

“Self-care,” he said, and held his palm out for little William to high-five him. He complied with a satisfied smile.

The woman rolled her eyes again, but only half-heartedly.

“You’re staying for dinner, right?” Kid Will asked.

His adult self answered before his sister could, “Yes, she is. She just came back from hero-ing in another Earth without me and worried me crazy, so she’s not getting out of my sight any time soon.”

She scoffed. “Like I can’t take care of myself.”

“I  _ know _ you can, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to worry. Worrying is like, right at the top of the big brother description.” 

“Yeah, he’s right,” the boy supported.

Mia couldn’t help but smirk a little.

“Besides—”

But no one got to find what the man was going to say, because just then, hell broke loose.

The ground under them jerked violently and knocked all of them off their feet. A deafening loud noise echoed through the cabin over their screams and the baby’s terrified cries, a noise that was not coming from the earth, like it would in an earthquake, but from the outside, as if the atmosphere was being torn apart all at once. The yellowish twilight light leaking through the windows turned into a bloody red.

Mia, hugging her baby self tight, crawled through the floor to reach young William and hugged him protectively. The kid held on to her strongly, one hand placed on his baby sister’s head and the free arm around the woman’s back. Connor and adult William creeped their way to them and joined the embrace. The two little ones ended up squeezed between the others, arms and hands all over them as a shield. But no shield could save any of them from the end of worlds.

They watched in horror as things around them started to vanish: the coffee table, the family pictures on the walls, the shattered bottle of milk, Mia’s star-shaped teether that feel from the couch with the quake, the couch. Little William put his hand over baby Mia’s eyes before hiding his face on his grown sister’s shoulder. The adults copied him and closed their eyes, cuddling together as close as they could.

The baby’s shrieking was the last thing they all heard as the wave of antimatter swaddled them.

And then, they were gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright. That was a mess. I’m not even sure if it was any good, but anyway.   
> I have absolutely no idea what’s happening in canon, like, all I know is that I hate it. I’m not sure if I’ll include any of those elements here, but I sure as hell know I’m not doing a partial reset or whatever it is. It’s so unnecessarily complicated and stupid to make it happen in the final episode. But whatever.  
> In any case, let me know what you thought of this! Comment and leave kudos and reach out to me on Twitter (@ragnarokwn)! Thank you so much for all the support, love y’all!


	6. Found pieces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unfinished fragments of the past come together as Oliver and Felicity reunite, and everything falls into its fair place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Did y’all read the spoilers for the finale? Because I did. And l’m fucking pissed. I hate the show and its writers and I’m not planning on acknowledging anything they do, ever.   
> So, I was planning on making this the penultimate chapter, because I wanted to finish it as soon as possible. But now? Oh, now I’m pouring my whole soul and anger into this and making it my greatest creation. I hope I do it right and give you guys a little bit of comfort.  
> Be ready for a not-so-subtle, decently narrated, passive-aggressive rant.  
> Enjoy!

Portals are a funny thing. They look so complicated and intimidating, like stepping into them would instantly throw you into a cosmic pit, spinning and falling into darkness, atoms being disintegrated and put back together until you reached your final destiny and landed on your butt. 

But they’re not. Even though she has experienced it before, Felicity can’t get used to how easy it was. Part of herself still expects something similar to being transported by the Flash. She closes her eyes as she walks through the bluish mist, waiting for the nauseous feeling to hit. Instead, she simply goes through. 

No spinning and falling. Just two steps and she is no longer behind the Queen mansion, but in… 

Where the hell is she?

She looks around, trying to find something besides blinding light and whiteness. When she doesn’t, she turns to the tall figure standing next to her and asks, “What is this?”

The Monitor doesn’t even look at her. “You will see.”

“I will— No. No, listen to me, I’ve had enough of your hugger-mugger. Where are we? Where is my husband?”

“Patience, miss Smoak.”

“Patience my ass! We had a deal. You were supposed to take me to Oliver—”

“Which I did.”

“Did you, though? Because I’m pretty sure you said he wasn’t really dead, and this looks very much like— Oh, my god. Am I dead? Did you just kill me?”

_ If this is dying _ , she thinks for a second,  _ it’s stupidly cliche and deeply disappointing.  _ Wasn’t it supposed to be peaceful or something? Because, right now, she’s just pissed. And there’s absolutely nothing peaceful about the threat that follows, “Oh, you better did not just kill me, Novu, because I swear I will stick every piece of your armor up your—”

“You are not dead… not entirely.” He sounds slightly fearful. “Nor is your husband, I can assure you that.”

“Define ‘not entirely’, please.”

“Your physical body does no longer exist, technically speaking, for it cannot exist in this place. But as long as your essence and memory are projected and contained in here, you will not be truly dead.”

“So… basically, you  _ did _ just kill me.”

She curses under her breath, taking a few steps towards… literally nothing. She isn’t sure why, but the place (or whatever that strange void is) feels familiar. Not like she’s been there before, but the way a specific smell can trigger back a long forgotten memory. It feels illogically safe and she’s not sure she likes it. The hollow feeling in the pit of her stomach begins to spread.

Not that she doesn’t trust The Monitor to take her to Oliver; the guy has proven himself to be worthy of trust over the years. But she just said goodbye to her children, and although she has absolutely no doubt that they will be okay and they will take care of each other… She left the most important thing she has behind, so this has to be worth it. And, honestly, being dead doesn’t exactly sound appalling.

“Mar,” she sighs, trying to keep her voice calm. “Would you please tell me what’s really going on here?”

He stares at her impassively once again, and she’s about to completely lose her temper and really show him what you get when you mess with Felicity Smoak, powerful cosmic being or not.

But just then, a voice resonates through every metaphysical edge of that infinite emptiness. 

It’s said that the first thing you forget about a person is their voice, because the echoic memory isn’t easy to access unless heard again, especially after a long period of time. Felicity spent so much time of her life worrying about that, about forgetting her Oliver’s voice. Not the one from videos, from every interview and documentary she took the time of searching and held on to all these years. No. She feared she would forget the voice no one but the people he loved the most had ever heard: the sweet, careful voice he used with William; the high-pitched baby voice he couldn’t help but use with Mia; the caring voice he used to talk to Thea and John; the tender, amused voice he used to over-pronounce her name when she started rambling. It was a blessing for her when the memory of him visited her dreams, because as much as it hurt when she realized it wasn’t real and she had to go on without him, his voice got stuck in her mind for days. 

Oh, how many times she woke up crying, with a soft “Felicity _ ” _ still ringing in her ears —the same “Felicity” she just heard—, and she looked around, expecting to find him lying next to her on bed, smiling crookedly, only to realize it was all a beautiful creation of her brain.

But she’s fairly sure she is  _ not  _ sleeping right now. And judging by the way The Monitor stares past behind her for a second and then he smiles —not just a quirk of the corner of his lips, but a real, genuine smile, which is one of the greatest signs of satisfaction Felicity’s ever seen from him—, she did not imagined it. 

So, she turns around, and then she not only hears him again, but she  _ sees _ him. And she doesn’t know why she’s so taken aback when she does, considering that’s exactly what she came here for, but she’s absolutely bewildered. If she wasn’t a mere projection of her true self and she had an actual, physical heart, it would be pounding wildly.

Oliver is standing a good few meters from her, although the extreme illumination makes it look further. He looks exactly the same as the last time she saw him, but he also looks… older, in a way. She senses it has something to do with the fact that they are not substantially here, and she’s not seeing his actual body. For a fleeting moment, she drifts off and wonders what  _ she  _ looks like right now. But as her husband opens his mouth to call her name again, she knows her appearance is the least of her concerns.

She doesn’t really have time to look at him carefully as they run to each other, but she notices he’s just as impressed as she is, if not more. The last thing she sees is his teary eyes before hurling herself into his arms.

Part of her wanted to do the sweet and gentle reunion; walk slowly to him, cup his face, look into his eyes, run her hands down his arms and torso, make sure that is really her husband. She had thought that would be necessary, after twenty years. 

But it isn’t. Even before their bodies meet and melt into each other, there was absolutely no doubt in her mind that this is him. Her Oliver. 

“Felicity,” he whispers yet again when she’s in his arms. He barely pronounces the word, so it sounds more like a wondered gasp, an exhale of air. Like he had been drowning, suffocating for so long that forgot he even needed air to survive, and saying her name reminded him to breathe —like saying her name is the only way to do so.

_ Oliver _ , she thinks, but his name doesn’t leave her lips. She can’t get herself to talk, to do anything at all but hold him. She’s not even sure she could stand anymore, but that is not a problem, for Oliver has her off the floor as soon as they touch, his arms strongly wrapped around her waist pulling her up, while hers are enfolding his shoulders.

He never left her entirely, she had been right when she said it; she always had the part of herself that he, that their love had changed. But living without him had been having pieces of herself constantly missing. Not an entire same part, but small different fragments that were given and taken from time to time. Their children, of course, were always the biggest of those fragments, the ones who made her the most complete, but also the most broken —she had never felt so empty as when Mia went away, and William was a piece she knew she had but couldn’t quite reach until it was too late. With time, she got used to live like that; incomplete. Because that’s how life is, and she had to keep going, for herself, for the kids, because that’s what he would’ve wanted.

But, oh, how wonderful it is to be complete, she realizes as the edges of their bodies crash and join and fit together just perfectly, like the most complicated puzzle solving itself all at once. And while, yes, she was able to survive all those years with this part of herself missing, forcing her to do it like that was the cruelest thing destiny had done to her.

And for him? Leaving behind his family, the greatest part of himself first, and then losing everything entirely… Cruelty seems like the multiverse’s biggest understatement.

“Oliver,” she manages to choke out, her hands going from his back up to his head and her fingers grasping his hair for the first time in twenty years. 

He breathes again, “Felicity.  _ Felicity _ .”

She pulls apart only a little bit, and he crouches just so the tip of her feet touch the ground, head leaning forward so his forehead is resting on hers, noses smashed together; they are so close that all they can see is each other’s eyes. She slides her hands from the back of his hair to his face, placing her palms on his temples, pinkies brushing his ears while her thumbs stroke his cheekbones. 

Now,  _ this _ does feel peaceful, and she’s somehow pretty certain she has never been further away from death. 

For Oliver, it’s a little more complicated than that. The way he experienced death wasn’t the same as everyone else, or at least that’s what The Monitor had said. He hadn’t been willing to share what that meant, exactly, because of course he hadn’t, but from the few things he had managed to get out of him, he was granted a little more consciousness about it, as well as a better view. What he wasn’t sure whether was different or not is the blankness, the lack of emotion. He still existed, and he knew that, and he could see the life he left behind from time to time, but he couldn’t  _ feel  _ it. He was absolutely isolated from sensations, and it was probably for the best, given his impossibility to act on them; he is, technically, no longer human, so it’s evident that some of his humanity would be taken from him as well. 

He didn’t realize it was gone, though, until he heard her voice.

For so long, after he left the island, he hoped he could truly be able to do that: stop feeling. He built wall after wall inside him, guard after guard, trying to accomplish the apathy he required to continue his mission. And then, she came, and not only she taught him how to feel again, but redefined his concept of feelings and love and  _ life _ and literally every perception he had ever had of anything.

It feels right that, after death took all that away from him, she was the one to give it back. “How—” he tries to say, but he’s gladly overwhelmed with the weight of humanity jumping back into him all at once. It’s both the most devastating and serene experience ever. “How did you—?”

“I told you,” she cuts him off, “that I would find you again.”

At that, he chuckles softly, and the sounds makes Felicity choke up with tears.

“I thought you fulfilled that promise when you sent John to Earth-2.”

She’s a little put out by the way he says it, like it happened not more than twenty years ago, but barely days. Then, she thinks maybe time and memory work different here, and she writes down a mental note to ask him about it later. 

Now, she shakes her head, rubbing their foreheads together. “I meant always.”

“I see that.”

They lock eyes for a long instant; Felicity is just completely focused on him, real and tangible in front of her, while Oliver is looking at her like she’s the first star to ever show up in the sky. Then, tilt their heads in sync to their respective right and finally close the distance between them completely as their lips meet. 

The touch aches and burns at first, before the forgotten sensation becomes familiar again; like the way your muscles hurt when riding a bike after a long time. Some sort of pain flows between them as they deepen the kiss, pleasant yet furious. It’s as though as their lips are fighting and snapping at each other, ‘Where have you been all this time?’

When the kiss breaks, Felicity quickly reaches to hug him again. She presses her face to the juncture of his neck and shoulder, and he buried his in her hair, breathing her in —he wonders, for a moment, if the reason she smells so wonderfully is because this is the purest form of her essence, or just because of the time apart. 

“I like your hair,” he comments casually.

Felicity lets out a half laugh, half sob. “No, you always liked it long and curly. It’s just easier to handle like this.”

“It doesn’t matter, you look beautiful anyway.”

He says it so easily, like it’s the most known and obvious fact. It reminds her of the way Mia used to say it when she was small; sometimes, the girl would stop whatever she was doing, leaving abstract drawings and tea parties with her teddy bears half-finished, and would go to her mother, stare at her very seriously and say “you are so beautiful, mommy”, then go back to her business. It made Felicity cry as hard as she’s crying right now (although back then she would wait until her daughter was sleeping first).

“I missed you so much,” she whimpers.

_ I missed you, too _ , Oliver tries to say, but can’t. It would feel kind of unfair to say it. It  _ is _ true, he knows, but he’s only feeling it  _ now _ . He didn’t feel it like this before, when he watched her from distance. The longing was there, yes, and the little voice in the back of his being saying that he should be  _ there  _ with her, but it wasn’t as distressing as it feels now, and he’s certain it was not nearly as painful as it was for her all those years. Living a whole life without her, no anesthetized feelings, no distorted conception of terrestrial time… The mere thought contracts his heart and makes him shiver.

“I’m sorry,” he mutters in her ear.  _ I’m sorry for leaving. I’m sorry for not fighting harder. I’m sorry for what I put you through _ . “I’m so sorry. About… everything.”

“No, it’s okay. It’s okay. You don’t have to be.”

He takes in a shuddering breath. “I  _ am  _ sorry… But I’m also so proud. The way you managed everything on your own… The kids—”

Felicity leans back suddenly, looking at him with wide, excited eyes. “Did you see them?”

He nods and smiles softly. “Every day. They are… remarkable.”

“They’re  _ awesome _ . You– you really were watching? Like, I didn’t lie to Mia when I said daddy was watching her from the sky?”

“It’s–it’s not  _ exactly _ like that, but yeah. I spent most of my time seeing you.”

She bites her lip thoughtfully. “Well, I’m kinda glad I didn’t know it back then. That’s  _ a lot  _ of pressure… and it’s also kind of creepy?”

Oliver laughs, and wraps himself around her again. Felicity doesn’t stiffen this time, she doesn’t tighten her grip to prevent him from going away, she just cuddles and melts into the embrace.

The moment stretches infinitely, seconds suspended into a brand new time structure, slowing and bending and spinning and allowing them to wrap themselves around each other for an instant that seems longer than all the years away.

When she finally pulls apart for good, her hands are still clutching tightly to his neck, finger laced together on his nape. She knows she’s still nearly hanging from him, for her quivering legs are providing null support to the rest of her body, but he doesn’t seem to mind. In fact, he looks quite comfortable as he holds her, firm although just as unstable as her. 

“What now?” She asks softly.

It’s not him who replies, “Your mission has come to an end. All your love and sacrifice will be rewarded, for it have saved the entire multiverse.”

Felicity turns to look at The Monitor, eyes shining. “So, what? I thought you said there’s no return from here.”

“Not to the home as you know it. Bringing you here comes with a cost, and I cannot go back to the place you belong to. I can, however, take you elsewhere.”

They stare at him, expectant. She’s an inch from yelling at him to cut the secrecy and tell them. Making dramatic pauses to maintain the mystery of his speeches seems to be part of his cosmic superpowers, but she’s not in the mood for it, not even if that’s one of the greatest moments of her life.

“Beyond space and time,” he starts, and she rolls her eyes, “and immune to its restraints, exists a heavenly dimension that was created as the embodiment of all positive matters of the universe. As such, no corrupt energies can exist within it, and only a handful of beings with the purest spirit are granted the privilege of spending the eternity there.”

“And I’m getting from this that we are part of those beings?” Oliver asked, rather apprehensive.

“That is correct. The two of you have earned a high position in that dimension. You will be able to manipulate its physical reality the way you estimate convenient.”

Felicity loosens the grip on her husband’s head as she processes the information. “Just… the two of us?”

Mar Novu bows his head once.

“But that’s…”

She looks up to see Oliver’s face. Although his expression seems calm, unreadable, his eyes are completely vulnerable to her scrutiny —and hers only. He’s not looking directly at her, but she can see the contradicting feeling pouring from his soul, the doubt, the fear, the uncertainty. When his gaze meets hers, she knows it, she knows he’s thinking the exact same thing she is. She can all but see the images of their children, of their family, filling her husband’s mind. 

He confirms her thoughts with a soft, almost imperceptible nod of his head.

“No,” she says then, and her voice has never sounded so determined.

The Monitor looks genuinely surprised. “ _ ‘No’? _ ”

“That’s what I said, Monny.  _ No _ . There has to be another way.”

“Miss Smoak—”

“You know me, you know  _ us _ . You’re supposed to be a powerful cosmic being, you can’t possibly be so stupid to really believe we’re going to be okay with this.” 

The expression that shows up on his face conveys that he is, in fact, so stupid. 

“What about our kids, huh?”

“This isn’t fair to her,” Oliver says before the other man can answer, voice shaking with pain and anger. “She’s been through a lot already, you can’t make her choose between me and our kids. It’s not fair.”

“Your children are adults now. And they are very capable of taking care of themselves. You have done your job with them, now it is—”

“Excuse me,” Felicity’s voice is high and dangerous, “are  _ you  _ lecturing us about  _ parenting _ ?”

“I–I would not dare.”

“Yeah, thought so. The fact that they’re grownups does  _ not  _ mean it’s okay for me, for  _ us _ to just go live in a perfect fake reality forever and forget about them. That’s not it.”

“You were always aware that this journey had—”

“Yeah, yeah, no return. But, to be fair, Mar, you are the most ambiguous and dramatic guy in the history of the multiverse, and you’re also freakin’ embodiment of all positive matter, ‘no return’ can’t just mean  _ no return _ .”

The Monitor looks impressed… and slightly baffled. “You only came here to make sure I could reach your husband. You were planning on fighting for a different outcome of our deal the entire time.”

The woman places her hands on her hips and lifts her chin with a defiant expression, like saying ‘and what about it?’ Oliver smiles softly.

After a deep sigh, Novu says, “I am afraid reviving your body, Oliver, or anyone else, for what matters, is beyond my capabilities. If I could, have no doubt that I would have brought you back to your family without hesitation.”

“I understand.”

“Then, don’t bring him back,” Felicity says. “Send us back, to warn us, or–or send our consciences to our younger bodies, before any of this happened. Not everything has to happen exactly the way it did, you  _ know _ that. Let us change things. Let us  _ try _ .”

“I am not allowed, nor I have the power to purposely send you back to interrupt the course of time,” The Monitor explains, though there is a shred of utter disappointment in his voice. Like it actually pained him not being able to execute her perfectly plausible ideas. “And fusing your current memories with your past ones would only cause more damage, for your own minds and the entire Multiverse.”

“Oh, screw you and your Mul—!”

Oliver kisses her forehead with a chuckle, keeping her from finishing the sentence. 

“Having substantial knowledge of the outcome of your actions would make them more erratic and desperate, specially considering the… dystopian nature of the current present.”

Felicity snorts at the word ‘dystopian’.  _ Freaking understatement. _

But, as much as it annoys her to admit it, he’s right. She knows herself, every version of herself, well enough to know it. And, yes,  _ maybe _ she would handle the memories, and  _ maybe  _ she would overcome the terrible fear and despair, and  _ maybe _ she would be able to do something to change things. But she’s always been a realistic person, and the truth is, it would probably be too much. And even if it didn’t drive her completely insane, she can’t risk being any less focused on her past present, for her children’s sake. 

No, there has to be another way. 

A way they can go back— No, not go back.  _ Be  _ back. To be back there when everything was ruined. To be little less hopeful. To search for answers before it’s really too late. To fight a little harder. To give Oliver more chances to fight a little harder, for his life, for her, for their…

_ Oh. _

For a fraction of a second, she discards the idea. Because it’s just insane. Because it would be exposing the ones she loves the most even more than she already has. Because the possibility of it actually serving the purpose she initially considered was just minimal. Less than minimal, actually.

But then, the idea starts flourishing in her mind, expanding its potential repercussions beyond just her and Oliver’s future together. A branch effect expanding into likelihood, making itself more and more… not so completely nuts. 

“Send them,” she says after what seemed like hours of thinking for her, but only a few real seconds. She gets an odd look from her companions. “Our children. William, Mia, and Connor and Zoe. Send them to the past, to us. They could make the difference.”

The Monitor tilts his head, somewhat intrigued. 

“We would know the outcome of things, but we wouldn’t  _ know  _ what’s gonna happen. We would have the chance to change things.”

Oliver stares at her, lips slightly parted, with a mixture of awe and disorientation, like he suddenly doesn’t know where he is or what is happening, but doesn’t care because Felicity is with him. 

(To be fair, it is kind of the case here).

“That is an interesting idea,” the other man/cosmic creature says. “It would not, however, be absolute on how different your lives would be. It might end up changing nothing.”

“It won’t. Those are my children, they won’t stay put. If they can do something, they will.”

“Your husband’s death is not something anyone can single-handedly avoid.”

“They’re not  _ anyone _ . And they won’t be alone.”

Oliver finally catches up with the whole plan, seeing what his wife saw before. The possibility. He sounds a little frantic when he says, “And even if they don’t avoid that, they will still change things. About their lives, about the city. And I would get to—”

His voice breaks, and Felicity strokes his cheek softly and finishes for him, “You would get to say goodbye.”

“This would not assure the two of you a future together,” The Monitor points out, just in case that isn’t totally obvious. 

“But it  _ could _ ,” Felicity says. “And it would make things better for our children anyway.”

He looks dubious, and mildly perplexed, as though he doesn’t fully understand how this is any better than his plan to let them have an everlasting vacation. They could just go and be together for the rest of times, in a literally perfect universe. Why would they risk everything, when a safe possibility is right there?

“Even if this does work out, you would get a regular life,” he insists, almost desperately. “With all the hazards that come with humanity. It would not even asure a long life together. You could be united for  _ eternity _ .”

“I never wanted eternity,” Oliver snaps, bitterness palpable in his words. “All I ever wanted was to have a  _ real _ life!”

It’s the first time, probably ever, that he allows himself to be genuinely angry about his ending. He always tried to think it was the right thing to do. That he saved the multiverse, and his family got to live, and that should be enough. For some reason, he had internalized this foolish idea that is what a hero is supposed to do: die, sacrifice himself, and just be okay with that. “Accept your destiny” was a phrase he had heard so many times during his life, and he had embraced it without a second thought. Because that’s what heroes do.

Maybe it’s because the dying numbness is gone, but,  _ damn _ , he is so angry right now. And he finally understands he’s entitled to be. Because it was not fair, it is  _ not  _ fair. He had fought so much, he had suffered so much, and the one thing he wanted was to eventually live peacefully with his family. Did that make him any less of a hero? He doesn’t think so, and he doesn’t care. He had abandoned himself and his desires during his life, so if selflessness means not caring about himself, he doesn’t want to be selfless. 

He is about to yell all that to The Monitor in not the nicest way, along with a few more things that are even less nice, when Felicity moves.

She wraps one of his arms with her hands and presses her lips on his shoulder; a small, seemingly meaningless gesture that always calmed him down in the past. This time is no different, for his whole body relaxes almost immediately, and, as by instinct, turns his head to kiss the top of hers. 

He takes a deep breath. “A normal life with my family is worth more than any infinity.”

Felicity smiles softly and places another soothing kiss on his shoulder and mutters, “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Then, all of the sudden, she moves to be in front of him, hands tightly grabbing his shoulders, and looks at him intensely.

“Okay, but be honest now: do you really,  _ really _ think this is a good idea?

She’s whispering. She has no idea why she’s whispering, because she knows very well that the other man can hear whatever they say. It feels more intimate, maybe, even if only psychologically.

The feeling is clearly shared, or maybe he just follows her example when he speaks in a low voice as well. “It’s your idea, so I know it is.”

“That’s very sweet, but it’s not like I’m choosing to go on a spontaneous trip to Torres del Paine to hunt penguins instead of taking a nap.”

Quirking a tiny smile, he frowns. “I don’t think there are penguins on—”

“Pumas, then. Or condors, if they still exist. Or whatever species that haven’t extinguished yet— That is not the point!”

He laughs (which still feels strangely unfamiliar), takes her hands in his (which does not) and says,“I genuinely think it’s gonna work.”

Well, that’s reassuring for once. It’s stupid, she knows, doubting after coming up with the plan, but it really isn’t something to be taken lightly.

A deep voice startles her. “Are you completely sure this is what you want?”

She stares past him, past everything, to a fixed point in the bright whiteness and into herself. Is she sure? Hell no, she’s really fucking not sure. But what else is she supposed to do? Just move on, knowing she could have done something else, something different? Live forever wondering if it would have worked, how the end would’ve been if it did? No. She already came this far.

It’s a long shot, that is for sure. It’s putting in danger all she has now and all she’ll ever have, with the faint possibility of a lifetime. It’s the lives of the people she loves the most in the multiverse changing, for better or for worse, or staying the same. It’s a whole future in the hands of someone who will mostly likely not know what to do with it. 

Unless they do, even if they don’t know they do. And she knows that someone, as well as she knows herself, and she’s pretty certain they would know what to do (although she’s also pretty certain they would not know they know what to do). And then, everything might…

Yes. It is a long shot. But it’s their best shot —and the only one, really, and she likes their odds. She won’t let this possibility, as uncertain as it is, go away just like that. She owed them the try at least.

The voice speaks again, interrupting her thoughts just in time for her answer. “Are you really willing to take the risk of it being all in vain?”

Putting on a brave face, Felicity nods. “Yes.”

“Because if this plan of yours does not work out as you intend,” The Monitor continues, looking oddly not-unsentimental —worried, even, “it might be the end of your story.”

She takes a deep breath and says, “It won’t. I won’t let it.” 

Then, she considers the vague meaning of that short statement and clears up, “Be the end, I mean. Not… not work out. Because it will. Work out. So it will not be the—”

“Yes, honey, we get it.” Oliver chuckles. 

The other man remains unimpressed and twists the corner of his mouth. “It must remain clear that I did not advice this, nor do I fully assent with it.”

“Noted,” the archer says at the same time the woman retorts, “Did we ask, though?”

Novu lifts and drops his shoulders, half-shrugging, half-sighing, like saying ‘Have it your way, I did my best’. But the troubled expression doesn’t leave his face.

“Alright, then—”

“Wait!” Felicity stops… whatever he was going to do as he closed his eyes. “Will we remember this? Our lives?”

As she waits for an answer, she has no idea the kids were already sent back in time, and The Monitor doesn’t tell. Just like he doesn’t tell them he could only sent three of them. In part because, whether this works out or not, it wouldn’t really matter; but mostly because he’s sure that telling them would only give them more sorrow, and that’s the last thing they need. He was too late to avoid the rest of the children’s pain, at least he can avoid theirs. 

“Would you want to?” he retorts.

“Yes,” she answers quickly.

Oliver just nods. There’s no much he needs to remember, but maybe remembering being dead would give him a bigger sense of appreciation for life. 

There’s no way any of them could notice Mar Novu isn’t just  _ there _ . That, while he looks at them thoughtfully, he is also aware of another place, another time. Watching everything evolve against all odds. Reunions and fights. Love and pain. Cosmic anomalies serving a higher purpose. Pieces falling into place. The lowest probabilities happening. 

_ Talk about the unthinkable... _

“You will remember,” he says at last, “once you make it back from where it started.”

“What does that even—?”

But then, it doesn’t matter anymore; the new timeline settles for good, and everything around dies out —everything except the two of them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Just in case it wasn’t perfectly clear, in this house, we despise the paradise dimension idea. It’s ugly and stupid and unfair. Family is everything to them. Fuck the show).  
> Okay, so, I don’t know if I need to explain this, but this is the first timeline; no Spectre, no paragons, no Felicity reading the cosmic book thingy.   
> Did that make sense? I’ve had this idea in my head for a long time, but I’m not sure if it actually works as good as I think it does. I hope that’s the case.  
> Don’t forget to comment and leave kudos and reach out to me on Twitter (@ragnarokwn)! I wanna read your thoughts! Love you all!


	7. Houses and Unknown Calls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything is fine on the day after the end of days... Except for a few tiny details that threaten to end everyone’s sanity. But nothing can be that bad when they have each other to figure it out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, it’s been more than a month. Sorry. Blame the show and their stupid finale for ruining my inspiration, along with my hopes and dreams.  
> Anyhow, this is gonna be long and messy and probably a little OOC, so double sorry. I don’t know what I’m doing anymore.  
> (Any grammar and narration mistakes or incongruities, it’s Toqui’s fault, for taking too long to read it and not giving me time to edit and correct the whole thing. Toqui, if you see this, I still love you, pero si me humillo va a ser todo tu culpa, ah).

When Felicity opened her eyes again, she immediately knew something was absolutely not right. Starting with the fact that, unless she totally misinterpreted the distance between Star City and the literal center of the universe, last time she checked she was _nowhere near_ the Bunker. Plus, she was fairly sure something was off with her memories, because there was a weird tickling in the back of her mind that wasn’t there even when she read that oh-so-powerful-not-made-for-mortal-eyes book.

(Which, honestly, was a bit over-dramatic, in her opinion. It wasn’t _that_ bad. Nothing _she_ couldn’t handle anyway).

And then, of course, was the tiny little detail that no one around her seemed to had realized that they all had just _died —_ all of them, as in, literally every living creature in every universe, ever.

She tried her best to act naturally until she figured out what the hell was really going on, but her acting skills didn’t seem to fully work when it came to close people. While Rene and Dinah only looked at her suspiciously when she couldn’t come up with a decent excuse for why she was there (she ended up babbling something about The Monitor and Oa that none of them understood, so they stopped asking), John threw her concerned looks every time her voice tone was slightly more high-pitched than usual when she talked.

It was kind of a relief when J’onn showed and she realized she was not actually crazy. But what he had to say was not in the slightest comforting. 

Not much changed in her head after he touched her temple. Not in the way it was supposed to, given everyone else’s responses. She didn’t gasp loudly, she didn’t groan in pain, she didn’t stumble back in confusion. If anything, whatever he did help her organize her thoughts, old and new ones, to fully make sense to what had just happened. He seemed pretty put-out at her lack of reaction —or was it that he could read her mind or something? She wasn’t sure—, so she assumed there was something different between her and her friends’ memories. She shook her head when he opened his mouth to ask; for some reason, she preferred to keep this to herself. He simply tilted his head and shrugged.

There was something, though, that wasn’t there before. A memory, not hers, she realized after an instant, but his. _Honor_ , was what she somehow felt as she witnessed a strange and for some reason alarming scene through his eyes: in a deserted place, a burst of blue and orange light. She couldn’t see the people next to her, but she could guess —it had to be the rest of the Paragons. As for the figures inside the light, she couldn’t see, but she just _knew_. That’s what made the next foreign memory, with Sara and Barry gone from her side and a new source of brightness spiraling in the sky, so absolutely terrifying.

She didn’t ask. She couldn’t get herself to. But, after a long moment of recovery, Rene did.

Everything after that was a little blurry, like it was all a feverish dream —or a nightmare.

Her numb consciousness could only catch a few lose glimpses of the martian’s whole explanation: antimatter, end of all Earths, vanishing point, a battle, a whole new multiverse…, and Oliver being its creator. Nothing she didn’t already know, anyway.

“H-how?” Dinah asked, and it was the first smart and not just entirely worthless question she or Rene had asked so far. “I mean, Oliver’s… He’s human. He… _How_?”

John, who had remained quiet, tears silently streaming down his face, talked for the first time since his mind was refreshed, “He became someone else… _something_ else.”

Felicity didn’t bother to try to focus on the inquiries _that_ unleashed, because she knew the answers. Not only she was the one who called Diggle and told him about Oliver’s death and him to go to the Waverider (well aware that he was not going to stay put and accept the whole thing just like that, blessed him), but she read about it —she _saw_ it. The Spectre. How his journey lead to that very moment. His purpose. His life. 

_His death_.

(She _did_ pay the slightest of attention when he mentioned the Devil helping them to get into the Purgatory, because, well, that was a new one.

“The Devil?” Rene looked concerned for some reason. “Like, literally, or... just a guy who was a real dick?”

“Both, kinda. Charming guy, though.” There was an interesting contradiction in his voice and eyes as he said this, some sort of fascination that she didn’t quite figure out. Maybe later...)

When he was done talking, John hesitated for a second. “He–he’s gone, isn’t he?”

Felicity wasn’t sure if she waited for J’onn’s answer before moving. She didn’t even realize she _was_ moving; she rushed to her computers and dropped onto her chair, and then her fingers were frantically flying over the keyboard, without her brain consciously ordering them to do so.

_Don’t let it be true. Please, Oliver, don’t do this._

She could faintly hear Dinah’s voice behind her, calling her name and then something else, and though she could recognize the inquiring tone as she talked, there was a whistle in her ears that kept her from truly listening. Everything but herself and her computer and her oh-please-not-dead husband drifted away as she clicked and typed and searched. With the whistle came a quick, roaring thump, that she was pretty sure was her heart. 

_Searching, searching, searching_. _Thump, thump, thump._

The little earth on the screen spun around its axis as an insufferable beeping sound made it loudly clear that the program was working. If only it actually did what it was supposed to instead of being _so freaking noisy_. And Dinah’s footsteps as she paced around didn’t help, nor did Rene’s voice because he just wouldn’t stop talking and asking dumb questions and it was all driving her insane and—

“Oh, my god, just _shut up_!”

She rolled on her chair to face the quartet, that stared back with wide eyes; J’onn’s were more sympathetic than anything, but everyone else looked as if she was a bomb counting down from 10. She kind of was, to be totally fair. 

The hacker was about to mumble a half-hearted apology when a different, more insistent beeping made her turn back to the computer, and everyone gathered around her (which almost made her snap again, but the yelling got stuck in her throat).

On the screen, red capital letters made a feared, horrific announcement: 

**NO GLOBAL MATCH**.

Time seemed to freeze as everyone processed the information, staring at the screen with a blank expression, as if they had all forgotten how to read and tried to figure out what those symbols meant. 

Felicity was the first one to truly react, breathing out the air she was holding. 

_No. No. This can’t be right._ _Please, don’t let it be right._

Something inside her told her it wasn’t. More than just a hunch, more than just her wifey senses telling her that this was _not_ the end; that it was cosmically impossible that this was their damn end. Something to do with the Books, she was pretty sure. But she couldn’t think properly right now.

She couldn’t _breathe_ , with the possibility of _this_ being really the end pushing into her chest like an axe, making her heart and soul and every part of her being scream in agony. 

“What does that even mean?” Rene’s shaky voice pierced through the numbness of emotional pain and gave her a literal headache. “Like, he’s just gone? Disappeared like that? He has to—”

“No,” she cut him off sharply. “No, the software is flawless. He’s not here anymore.”

Dinah placed what was supposed to be a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Felicity, I’m so sorry.”

Her broken voice made Felicity’s blood boil with anger, and the feeling intensified when she realized Rene was crying, too.

 _You don’t get to be sad now_ , she wanted to scream. _You hypocrites don’t get to pretend you ever really cared about him._

But she didn’t say it. She simply rejected the woman’s touch with an abrupt shrug. “I need to go see my kid.”

No _. Kids_ Yes, she was pretty certain they were together before… She only hoped they still were. She couldn’t reach any specific thought or memory, so she tried to focus on them; her heart clenched as she started to hyperventilate even more. William had been staying with her when she had to leave with the Monitor, and… Who was babysitting? She couldn’t possibly had left the two of them alone. Nyssa? No. No, she had… 

_Frack, frack, frack._

“I need to see my kid,” she repeated, more frenetic this time. She wasn’t sure why she used the singular word again. 

“Felicity, wait—”

“You can fly, right?” She asked J'onn. He nodded gently. “Could you take me somewhere?”

“Sure.”

“Hey, blondie, calm down, just—”

Felicity barely registered John’s voice, dark but steady, telling the other man to let her be, that she needed to be with her family. Something inside her twisted with that, but she ignored it and rushed into the elevator.

* * *

In the cabin, everything was perfectly placed into its rightful place. The coffee table was right in the middle of the living room, carefully centered between the couch and the two armchairs (exactly forty five centimeters of distance from each. Felicity had mocked Oliver once because of this compulsive organization of the furniture, saying that all he had left to do was using a ruler. He had only responded with soft chuckle, so she suspected it hadn’t _not_ crossed his mind); the family pictures were evenly distributed, some on the hall table, some on the walls, each one positioned in a perfect 90° angle from its base or the ground; Mia’s bottle sat untouched on the kitchen counter, cap on, not a single scratch on its light purple surface, the milk inside it somehow fresh and the exact point of warm for her to drink.

In the cabin, everything was so, so suspiciously neat and into place, no one in their right mind would’ve imagined something had just happened there. Much less, well, the end of everything.

But, to be fair, none of the people in the cabin were exactly in their right mind. Except, maybe, baby Mia, who was seemingly unbothered in her bouncer, chewing on her star-shaped teether. Completely unaware that she just got erased and brought back into existence. The rest of them were… not exactly as calm.

As if for a better processing of what had happened, they re-appeared not standing —like they were before the world shattered— nor laying together on the floor —like they were after it did—, but each one carefully sitting, like little dolls in a scale model. Mia and her older-but-younger brother were on the couch next to the baby, and Connor and William on the kitchen stools; everyone but the infant seemed… confused, to say the least.

“What…” the teenager all but gasped, “the _frack_ just happened?!”

Connor jumped gracefully off his seat, hands stretched out to his sides for balance; not because he felt dizzy, but just in case the floor somehow disappeared under his feet when he touched it... Not that any equilibrium would help in that case, he thought after he stood, but still. “Did we just _die_?”

The man next to him lacked such lightness; he stood up, almost dragging the stool with him, and stumbled forward a few steps until he managed to balance himself. Then, he rushed into the living room with a panicked look. “Is everyone okay?!”

Mia’s gaze flickered over to young William, who nodded and crouched down to inspect his sister; the baby gargled happily when he picked her up. 

“Yeah, all good.”

“ _No_. We are _not_ ‘all good’,” Connor said, using his index and middle finger to draw quotation marks on the air. “This is, like, the opposite of ‘all good’. _Nothing_ is ‘all good’. We just _died._ Everything just— Ouch!”

Mia gave him a look, the fist she just hit him with resting on her side, threatening. 

“What was that for?!”

“Because you need to _calm down_.”

He gaped. “We _died_!”

“Yeah, but didn’t stay dead, did we?”

“That’s not the point, Mia!”

“Connor, we’re _fine_.” She grabbed him by the shoulders and locked her eyes in his. “I have no idea what’s going on, but we’ll figure it out together, okay?”

The man looked hesitant for a second, but then nodded. Then, a small smirk started spreading on his face. “Since when _you_ are the voice of reason and I’m the one freaking out?”

Mia smiled, too, and her voice was low and teasing as she said, “I guess the end of the world did change us.”

“Can’t say I dislike this new you.”

The archer just hummed in response. A loud groan popped their little… _seductive_ bubble.

“Ugh, come on!” Young William muttered, forcing a fake annoyed expression. Then, he turned to his older self, “Are they always like this?”

“Usually there’s more passive-aggression, but yeah, pretty much. Although the se—” He was cut by a pacifier hitting the space between his eyebrows, that he was starting to raise for emphasis. It wasn’t nearly enough to take the mocking grin off his face, though.

Mia didn’t even try to pretend to be angry, only turned her eyes upward and shook her head —that special, almost affectionate eye-roll that only William and their mom before had managed to get out of her. “Alright, can we focus on figuring out what the frack just happened, please?”

“Yeah. Right, okay, uh.” He stood to grab the tablet from the kitchen counter, then sat on one of the armchairs, placing the device on his lap. “Okay, okay, uh, we should… Maybe we… I-I got nothing. My brain’s not working.”

“We’re doomed,” Connor groaned, and cradled his face in his hands.

Mia closed her eyes and threw her head back, as if praying for patience. “We should start with tracking down Mom. I still can’t believe you let her go alone, like she didn’t have a tendency to freaking vanish!” She left the _‘and pretend to be dead for months’_ part unspoken as she saw the panicked expression on little Will’s face. “I mean, I’m sure she won’t do that right now, but just—”

“ _Mia_.”

“Yup. Uh, anyhow, let’s run a global search, alright?”

“Right. Yeah, okay, that’s a good start.” 

His fingers started moving swiftly across the screen, in a way Mia had only seen one person do it before. Sometimes it was easy to forget Felicity and William weren’t blood-related; the fact that they’re both tech geniuses was only a plus for how similar they were. More often than not, the way her brother raced through word, the way he waved his hands while talking, the way he beat around the bush and got caught in insignificant details and fun-facts, it was all just so identical to their mom’s demeanor.

(Looking at his younger and apparently shyer version, she couldn’t help but wonder when that aspect of his personality would fully explode, and how more akin to Felicity he would be now that they’d get to see each other as he grew up).

As she started paying attention to these gestures, she also figured out some less obvious little details about him that made particularly easy for her to notice, for example, how absolutely terrified William was right now. It was subtle: a small twitch pulling the corner of his mouth; his blinking just slightly increased, probably to hold back the tears that turn his eyes pinkish; an almost imperceptible tremble in his hands, that made the taping of his index fingers just barely more erratic; the way he was hunching forward, chin tucked in his chest, instead of the (ironically) straight position he usually took when he worked on something, as if trying to make himself small.

Mia sat on the armrest next to him, leaning over just enough to apply a gently touch on his shoulder without heavying her weight on him.

“Will,” she called softly (which she didn’t much, but that was okay). He looked up. “Breathe.”

He complied and sighed deeply, then nodded and pressed his lips together with a half-hearted smirk —another sign of his distress. “Okay, it’s running. It, uh, should take a while, depending on how far and how signal-blocked Mom is —which probably is a lot, so yeah. In the meantime I could run another search for Dad, but—”

“Overloading the software with temporary data would make it go slower,” younger William finished for him(self?)

“Exactly.”

“What a shame we don’t have a super-secret tech room here, huh?”

Mia gasped. “Oh, come on! She told _you_ about the secret room?! I’m gonna have a very serious conversation with her about this.”

“About not telling you something in the past that is actually her future but not exactly _your_ future anymore?” Her older brother teased. She narrowed her eyes.

“Well… If you put it like _that_ , it sounds kinda dumb.”

“My brain is officially melting after that sentence,” Connor announced, almost happily.

With yet another eye-roll, Mia stood and confidently walked to the shelving, reaching to touch the portrait of newborn-her and her parents, only to realize… “I–I opened it by accident last time.”

Smaller William chuckled and followed her, clutching baby Mia close to him. He swiped a finger across the glass (from Felicity’s shoulder to Oliver’s), like caressing the picture, and for a second, nothing happened. But then, the inner edges of the frame lightened up and the wall cracked with a beep. 

Mia scoffed. “Show-off. I could’ve done that.”

“Except you couldn’t, because your DNA has to be in the system. And, no offense, but you’re kinda too small for that.”

“Yeah, well… Putting an arrow through it was way more fun.”

“You–you could’ve fried the system and locked the door forever.”

“But I didn’t do that, did I?” With a saccharine smile, she stepped into the lair.

It was surprisingly… not eerie inside. Maybe because it lacked the initial shock that she experienced the first time, or maybe the different illumination and the extra objects made it less sad and lonely. Instead of just the gloomy light from the screens, the room was instantly filled with a soft yellow light. And instead of a single desk chair, there were two, plus a small rocking chair on one back corner and a baby playing mat on the other. 

“This is cozier than I remembered.” Mia muttered absently. She turned back to look at her actually-big brother, who hadn’t moved from the couch and had a weird expression on his face. “Yo, you need an formal invitation to come in here or what?”

“I– Yeah, sorry, I’m coming.”

Connor followed inside, too, staying close to the woman like his life depended on it. As William dropped himself on one of the chairs in front of the computers, his younger counterpart settled on the nursing chair, just slightly more interested on the infant in his arms —that had been starting to take her little hands to her eyes to rub them— than whatever the rest of them were about to do.

“Okay, so, I got the feeling that a simple worldwide search is not gonna do,” the man started, channeling his inner Overwatch right ahead. “So, I’m gonna run an interdimensional search and try to get into the farthest satellites from our universe, just in case he got his dramatism to a whole new level and decided to hide between Saturn’s rings or something.”

“Sounds like Dad,” the teenager said.

“That should take a while, but in the meantime… Wait, do we think he’s the one who… brought us back or whatever that was?”

“Definitely. That guy in the purgatory said he had to save everyone, to-to ‘light the sparkle’, I think he said…”

“The sparkle being us?”

“Uh– More like the whole multiverse, I guess, but yeah.”

“I’m lost,” little Will admitted.

Connor snorted. “Welcome to my world.”

“What guy? And, did you just say _purgatory_? Come on, I know I’m younger, but you guys could at least _try_ to keep me updated, I’m not gonna have a meltdown or something.”

“Maybe not,” older William said. “But you _might_ , and my mental and emotional stability is already _totally not_ stable, so I’d rather not risk it, thanks.”

The teen rolled his eyes. Her sister (the bigger one, the small was starting to drift off in his cradle) almost copied him. “Don’t worry, it’s not that deep. A man showed, said some weird stuff, then Dad went with him.”

“And… the purgatory?”

Mia stayed silent for an instant. Behind her, her brother cursed under his breath.

“Oh. That, uh… He kind of…”

“He died, didn’t he?”

“I– Well, briefly, yes. We brought him back, like, hours later, though, so you don’t have to worry about it. Plus, he saved us all, so he can’t be _that_ dead.” The boy sighed, and she made a mental note to punch herself later. “Sorry. That wasn’t exactly reassuring, was it?”

“No, not really. But…” He shrugged. “It’s Dad. If anyone can die to save the world and then come back anyway, that’s him.”

“Yeah. Yeah, that’s right.”

A soft sniff came from the desk, before adult William cleared his throat and said, “Maybe we could try to figure out the whole story about that. Mia, do you remember this guy’s name?”

“Uh… I think it was Jim…?”

“I’m afraid I’m gonna need a little more than that.”

“Shut up, I’m thinking. Jim, ah… Jim Harrigan, maybe? Or— No, no, no, Corrigan! Jim Corrigan!”

“Got it.” The quick tapping sound of William’s typing was the only thing that echoed in the cabin for a solid minute. Then, with a little victorious exclamation, he read, “James Brendan Corrigan. He’s a detective on New Orleans. Highly decorated. The guy’s like a legend in the police force. He went after some mafia boss and he— Ugh.”

“What?”

“After the boss put him into a barrel of cement and threw him into a river.”

“You’re _joking_.”

“ _Why_ would I joke about that? Anyway, he survived, somehow, and he took down the entire shady organization...”

Mia drifted into her thoughts after that, her encounter with the man and her father playing over and over in her head. 

_In another life, I was a hero in my own right. But then, I was called to a higher purpose. It’s your turn now, Oliver._

She must’ve made some sort of distressed sound, because everyone turned to look at her. At her brother’s specially inquiring expression, she explained, “I-I don’t think he actually _survived_.”

William opened his mouth, but only a small “oh” slipped through before he closed it again. 

“I mean, makes sense. He was in the Purgatory, maybe he—”

A loud beeping made them all jump in their places —except baby Mia, who barely seemed startled enough to open her eyes for a second before closing them again. Connor, previously leaning on the wall to William’s left, straightened up in a defensive position. Young Will relaxed immediately after he recognized the sound. “That’s the pre-doorbell. She _really_ has to change that ringtone.”

“She will,” Mia said, standing up to check the tablet. Her lips parted and eyebrows went up in surprise. “Oh, my god.”

“What?”

She didn’t answer, just turned and hopped to the entryway, so into her almost childish excitement that she didn’t have time to stop before crashing against someone else’s body.

“Before you start scolding me for trespassing—,” the newcomer started, but paused when Mia stumbled back and she actually _saw_ her face. “You are not Felicity.”

“Aunt Nyssa!”

The woman, neatly dressed in her League uniform, was perplexed as this girl who she first mistook for her friend jumped into her arms. She patted her back awkwardly as her mind tried to process what was going on. “Pardon? Aunt—? _Oh_.”

“ _Mia_.” She stepped back at her brother’s warning voice. 

Nyssa looked over her shoulder, widening her eyes just a tiny more at the sight of someone who unmistakably had to be related to her ex-husband. The man on the chair stared back at her with known eyes, his expression too soft to be fully Oliver’s, but slightly too hard to recognize the kid he technically still was but wasn’t anymore right ahead. Having it figured out, it took the woman a good few seconds to snap out of the initial shock.

“Uh-oh.” Mia grimaced. “Too soon?”

William shook his head. “Yeah, Mi’, like, _years_ too soon.”

“Sorry. Uh, yeah, this is probably very confusing…”

“Oh, no, not really,” Nyssa said with a wave of her hand, now fully recomposed. “Distressing, I would say. Shocking, for sure. But also... fascinating.” She tilted her head and narrowed her eyes, as if to inspect the girl in front her more carefully. “The resemblance is uncanny. At first sight, I would have said you are your mother’s living image, but I would also dare to say you look a fair amount like your father, as well. Especially in the eyes and nose. And you…” She looked at William. “You definitely look like Oliver, but there’s something about you that reminds me of Felicity.”

The man grinned. “It’s the awesome genius vibe.”

“I see. And, I mean no disrespect, but who are you?”

“I’m… Connor.”

“He’s a friend,” Mia explained.

“Yeah, for _some_ of us,” her brother said with a suggestive chuckle, earning two deadly stares from them and a confused one from Nyssa. “What are you doing here anyway?”

“I… had a bad feeling on my way home, and your mother wouldn’t pick up the phone, so I came here to check on her and… well, you.”

“On your way home?” William seemed scared. “Where were you before that?” 

“At the mall, getting something for my… Nevermind. Why?”

“Nothing… _unusual_ happened before that?”

“Un—? No, I don’t think so.” The kids shared heavy looks. “Did I miss something?”

“We died.”

“What?!”

“ _Connor_.”

“What? We did!”

“Say it one more time,” Mia used her Green Arrow voice, “and I am going to hurt you.”

“Oh, are you now?”

She opened her mouth to reply, but young Will’s voice interrupted, “As entertaining as this whole thing is, there are _minors_ here, and one of them is napping, so could you two, like, get a room, please?”

Both of them blushed, and Nyssa was momentarily startled as she stepped further into the room and caught sight of the little ones. “Oh, you are here. Are you alright? Where—? Wait, you are babysitting _yourselves_?”

“Pretty much.”

“There has to be some kind of cosmic rule against this entire situation.”

“Yeah, probably.”

Nyssa shrugged, then walked closer to the rocking chair and placed a gentle hand on William’s shoulder, her free hand caressing the baby’s cheek. “Do you want me to take her for a while?”

She didn’t offer to take her to her crib, because she knew (that he knew) the little girl would most likely wake up and be completely annoyed if she was shifted from warm arms to the cold mattress. If you were fortunate (or unfortunate, depending on one’s view) enough to have her fall asleep on your arms, you had no other choice but to hold her until she woke up on her own. 

William hesitated for a minute —he didn’t want to let go of her—, but then nodded. “My arms are a bit numb. She’s getting heavy.”

Next to them, adult Mia snorted. “Did you just call me _fat_?”

The boy chuckled and slid the infant into Nyssa’s cradle; she whimpered and squirmed for a moment, but then settled and continued snoozing happily.

“Now,” the woman said in a low voice once the baby stopped moving, “what is this about _dying_?”

The story itself wasn’t exactly what made a mess inside Nyssa’s mind. Death, rebirth, alternate universes, changed memories, that was… relatively easy to get. Especially for someone born and raised inside an organization founded thanks to the visit of an actual cosmic being. It was a lot to take in, but not brain-wrecking. 

The real tricky part was to really understand a single sentence the children said as they spoke, all at once, slurring their words and interrupting each other and themselves as they tried to explain the whole thing.

At the end, Mia was the one experienced the most real action… that and, well, the fact that she was who yelled the loudest, so she did most of the explanation. 

Everyone kind of expected the former assassin to implode or go into a catatonic state. They feared the latter happened when she didn’t say a word for a solid minute after they stopped talking.

(Her brain didn’t, in fact, break, but something throughout the story caught her attention and she was trying to figure out what, although the reaction was fairly similar).

“Uh, aunt Nyssa?” Mia said softly, trying to get her attention back. 

The woman narrowed her eyes in concentration, as if she was struggling to reach a very old piece of information from her hippocampus. After another moment, she said, “I believe I know what your father’s fate was.”

“You… do?” Adult William sounded more scared than skeptical. “How?”

“A word you said rings a bell,” she told Mia. “There was a myth, in Nanda Parbat. Tales, about a powerful spirit that wandered Earth, punishing wrongdoings. The avenging wrath of God, some called it… Others, simply went with _The Spectre_.”

There was a moment of silence as the children tried to understand what it actually _meant_ , only broken by Connor’s choked voice, “This just keeps getting wilder.”

“I used to believe it was only a story, but…”

“It fits the description,” older William muttered, almost to himself. Then, he asked louder, “What kind of powers did this spirit have?”

“Every kind. He was said to be almost invincible, to–to have control over everything. Reality, space, time... I mean, there was no official biography, but most of manuscripts agreed that his main weakness was that he needed a human host to manifest himself.”

“Well, that’s good, right?” Mia said with a little voice. “I mean, if he’s that cool and he’s using Dad to do stuff, that means he has to be out there… right?”

Adult William took in a shaky breath, then nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, right. We should—”

Another beeping, this time coming from Felicity’s tablet, startled them, almost making him fall off his chair. “Gosh, dying really gets into your head. Anyway, we have a hit on Felicity’s location… Huh. That’s weird.”

“What?” Mia asked. “What is it? Where is she?”

“She’s—”

“Right here.”

Everyone flinched again. 

Felicity stood on the entrance, casually leaning against the opened door, eyes shining with amusement (and something else). “So much for a _super-secret_ room.”

Younger William hurled himself into her arms. He couldn’t help the strangled sob that slipped from his throat, nor the word that came after, his voice small and broken with relief, “Mom.”

It took Felicity a moment to register the whole situation and the fact that _yes, dummy, he means you_ , and wrap her arms around him. She wasn’t even sure why it shook her so much, considering she already heard another version of him calling her that, but… Well, it was different, somehow. 

“Is everyone okay?”

The look Mia directed at Connor confused her a little bit, but what was new? She wasn’t even sure how her adult daughter got there in the first place.

“What?” The man said, defensive. “I didn’t say anything!”

“But you were _thinking_ about it.”

“No, I wasn’t!” Mia gave him another stern stare. “Well, how could I not think about it? We—”

“ _We’re fine_.”

“Yeah, we’re okay,” bigger William confirmed. “A little jumpy, but okay.”

The man looked almost as shaken as Felicity was at his smaller version saying the M word. It wasn’t something that haunted him at night, but a small part of himself did regret ever saying it before she went away. He knew she didn’t really care, that it didn’t change anything about their relationship or how they felt, but still. However the whole timeline-changing thing worked, it was nice to know she got to hear what she means to him.

Felicity pulled apart, but kept an arm wrapped around the boy’s shoulders as he stood next to her. She took a quick look around the room, trying to focus on the many, many elements inside it instead of the cacophony of voices in her mind trying to pull her towards the darkness, trying to drown her in her own thoughts.

Connor, standing stiff right next to William and Mia, was outwardly calm, his trained-soldier facade making him look just kind of tense. But years of being surrounded by —and married to— trained soldiers and their facades had given her more insight, and she could tell the man was very far away from calm, and most likely wished he was far away from there as well but knew that just leaving like that would be rude. 

Nyssa, on the other hand, was surprisingly easy to read right now —as she grew more comfortable with the place and its people, she had come to let her walls down more often (which warmed Felicity’s heart very deeply). She was holding on to the baby in her arms tightly, a finger absently caressing the blonde fluff on her head, and she didn’t try to hide the fact that she was having trouble coping with everything that was going on around her; unlike the others, she didn’t look frenzied and overwhelmed with memories, just contemplative and low-key confused.

Her older children were sitting on the desk chairs, looking up at her with a troubled expression, as if they were scared that the slightest move or sound would break her down. Just like the teenager, they seemed a little dazzled and concerned, but not particularly scarred. And then, of course, was baby Mia, who was completely oblivious to the world in Nyssa’s arms, her little lips curving in a smirk as she dreamed.

 _Good_ , she thought _. They’re not gonna be emotionally traumatized forever. That’s good._

 _That is_ , that Voice whispered in the back of her head, _because they don’t know their father is dead yet._

_No. No, he’s not dead. He can’t be._

_Can’t he, though?_

She turned her focus back to the room and forced a cheery voice as she said, “So, which one of you, little munchkins, is gonna explain to me what is going on here, in my _secret_ lair?”

“Uh, we were trying to track you and Dad down,” William said, pausing between his words carefully.

“Oh. Any luck? On your dad, of course, I know for a fact you didn’t have a hit on me until I was here.” She smiled proudly, almost in a brag. “Don’t feel bad, though. I’ve been extra careful with my location lately. Like, _extra_ extra. I couldn’t even find myself if I tried.”

“That would be fun to see.”

“Yeah. Maybe one day, who knows…”

Will could see her drifting off the point, imagining the possibilities, so he cleared his throat. “Anyway, we haven’t found anything concrete on Dad, but we did some digging on what Mia had when she, uh, was with him.”

“Oh?”

“And, honestly, we-we don’t think… we don’t think we’ll get a hit on him any time soon.”

Felicity’s heart dropped. They knew. Oh, hell. Her sweet children knew their father was not coming back.

No, but how could they know? _She_ didn’t know for sure. She was pretty certain nobody knew exactly what happened to him. Everyone just assumed...

William noticed her hesitation, the subtle change in her fake-chill expression, and rushed to add, “Not because he’s—!” Well, that. We believe– I mean, we’re pretty sure Dad’s… not just _Dad_ anymore.”

“Oh. That,” Felicity sighed. “Yeah, I know.”

“As in… he’s not exactly _human_ anymore.”

“I know.”

“It’s a lot to take in, I know, and it’s gonna be hard to— Wait, you do?”

She smiled softly. “I told you I was gonna get as much info on him as I could, and I did. Or… did that– did that not happen in this timeline?”

“No, it did.”

“Oh, thank god, this is confusing enough as it is. Anyway, I know everything.”

“Everything as in…?”

“Way-more-than-I-should-for-my-sanity’s-sake everything.”

Mia rolled her eyes and leaned forward on her seat, hunching her shoulders and resting her elbows on her tights. “Wonderfully vague, Mom, but could you _please_ elaborate?”

The other woman took a deep breath.

“So, I met these guys, the Guardians of the Universe,” she started, taking a pause to smirk at everyone’s frown. “They’re these blue, big-headed dudes—”

“Wait, like Megamind?” Teen William asked.

“Eh, Megamind’s more handsome, but sure. Anyway, they’re kind of cosmic cops, they do a lot of stuff I’m not sure I fully understand, and they have this book that is written in time itself and holds most of the universe’s secrets. So, I read it. It was supposed to drive me crazy, but it didn’t. I mean, I don’t think so? I hope not. In any case, I learned a thing or two about your dad’s, uh, situation.

There was a very, very long pause.

“So, do-do you know where he is now? Or how to find him?”

“No. No one’s exactly sure what happened to him after this… reset. I have a few theories, but I’d rather not share them before I have more information and my mind’s not so much of a mess. Sorry.”

“It’s okay, Fliss.” The William next to her squeezed her hand. 

“Yeah, Mom, it’s fine,” Mia said, her gaze softening. “We’ll figure it out.”

Her big brother nodded. “Yeah, we will… But, like, can we come back to the part with the book written in _time_?”

“No, please let’s not,” Connor all but whimpered.

Before anyone could add something else, an alarm went off in every device in the room. William and Felicity moved in sync, the first pushing himself to the desk with a swift roll of his chair as the woman stepped next to them to grab her tablet. The extremely focused expression on their faces made them look so much alike that Mia almost laughed.

After a moment, the concentration turned into plain bafflement.

“Mom…?”

“Yes, I see it, too.” 

“What?” Mia asked, getting closer to take a look at the bigger screen. “What is it?”

With a few clicks, a live streaming popped up for everybody to see; people running around in panic, cars going off the road and crashing into each other, and a big headline on the bottom doing nothing to help with their confusion:

GIANT BEEBO ATTACKS STAR CITY.

Connor was the first one to react. “I… am done.”

“This _definitely_ did not happen last time,” William said, slightly out of breath. “Which is good, because last time sucked, but…”

Felicity turned off the screen. “So, who’s hungry? I really think this is our cue to go eat something.”

Only then, Mia blinked a couple of times and stammered, “Shouldn’t we, like, do something?” 

“Nah, there’re tons of heroes available now, let them handle it.” At her children’s inquiring expression, she added, “Right. You don’t— Just don’t worry about it, I’ll explain later.”

* * *

The rest of the day developed as peacefully as the day after the end of days could. It included way too many impossibly complicated questions and several existential crisis, but it worked out… okay. Somehow, all of them managed to give each other some sense of normalcy, as twisted as the concept might have been while simultaneously having two versions of William and Mia under the same roof. At least, nobody’s brain literally exploded, and that, according to Felicity, was a total win. Connor kind of disagreed, but he didn’t say so out loud.

The young man decided to leave the safety of the wild but known place to further explore the even wilder and unknown new reality, when Felicity casually happened to mention baby Sara —his _sister_ . He had to see it with his own eyes, he said, because the words themselves couldn’t make it any less surreal. He no longer had one brother, he had a brother _and_ a sister. He had _twin siblings_.

(That, of course, assuming he would actually get adopted by the Diggles in this new timeline, which was something absolutely terrifying to think about, so he tried to avoid it).

Nyssa left shortly after, rather reluctantly, but promised to come back the next day to “make sure everything and everyone remains the same.”

Adult William and Mia argued for a while on whether they should go back to the apartment or not, but their mother settled it when she announced the guest room was ready for them.

(She omitted the fact that she did not remember having a trundle bed in that room, because there was a tiny chance that she obviated it before, and she had enough of the crazy-lady vibe on her to start talking about beds magically and conveniently materializing into her home).

However, the room remained mostly unused, at least until around five in the morning. 

Felicity first thought being alone was what she needed —what she _wanted_. She couldn’t wait for the moment all of her kids went to bed so she could cry her frustrations out peacefully. She was _drained_. She didn’t know what to feel, what to do, and part of herself was longing to let go; to let the darkness consume her; to lay down and stay in bed for days, until things were better or over, or until she stopped feeling. The only thing that kept her from truly wanting that was thinking about how deeply it would affect her child who was (unfortunately) old enough to understand what was going on, who had already lost a parent, possibly had just lost another, to see the one he had left losing herself in grief. 

She was thinking about that, swearing she wouldn’t let that happen, when she heard low whispers and the clatter of dishes from outside the room. As quietly as her clumsiness allowed her, she got up and followed the sounds.

“Can you make any _more_ noise?” Mia was saying, awkwardly sitting on the kitchen island.

William stopped what he was doing and turned to see her, then said, “I’m literally just pouring water in a cup!”

“Yeah, _loudly_.”

“What do you think I am, a friggin’ ninja?”

“No, clearly not.”

“Well, at least I can make a cup of tea.”

The young woman let out an offended scoff. “I know how to make tea!”

“Yeah, I mean without burning down the kitchen.”

“Oh, I _truly_ hate you.”

Felicity, still out of sight to them, smiled. For a moment, she considered going back to bed, leave the two of them to continue their adorable argument, but then she realized she _really_ didn’t want to be alone. So, she joined them.

Like actual children getting caught off up past their bedtime, Mia and William froze in their places and opened their eyes wide. The older woman had to suppress a chuckle.

“We… couldn’t sleep,” Mia said tentatively.

(Felicity wondered how many times she had been caught like this growing up. Probably a lot. Would it be different this time around? Would William catch her before she could and take her back to bed, or would he join her and be caught together like this? Oh, she couldn’t wait to find out).

After a beat, William smirked and silently moved to grab a third mug. 

Yeah, she was wrong about wanting to be alone. Just like she was wrong when she thought that, after the way her day started and the catastrophic revelation that followed, she would never genuinely enjoy a moment again. Having tea with her adult children from the future was a very enjoyable, though still absolutely wild moment.

When they reached the second round of their camomile-flavored drink, Felicity suddenly suggested a movie marathon. The enthusiasm in her voice was a tad too out of place, apparently, to the point William seemed to find it forced.

“Mom, you don’t need to— you don’t _have_ to act strong for us, you know?” He said carefully. “You can… _not_ be okay. That’s… Well, that’s okay.”

The woman smiled softly. “I know.”

And she did. It wasn’t going to break them, she knew that. They were adults, they could handle it. But, genuinely, she didn’t feel like she was acting strong. She wasn’t putting on the grin and forcing the tranquillity. Or maybe she was, but she had it so internalized that it didn’t feel like she was.

Or maybe it was _them_ , having them there together, while younger versions of them slept only rooms apart, that gave her the certainty that everything was going to be fine at the end. The future they told her about was dark and miserable, but it was going to be totally different now, and so many other things could be different as well. There was _hope_. 

And even if there wasn’t, even if everything had stayed the same, they were _here_ , after all, _together_ , laughing and teasing each other as they watched a movie. Even in a dystopian future, her children were okay. 

And she, apparently, had been okay there, too. She had made it through a universe without her universe. Somehow, she’d managed to stay strong enough to keep going, to keep William and Mia safe, and to get them to be for each other one day. It wasn’t ideal —it actually _sucked_ —, but they were okay, and that was all that mattered.

“I know,” she repeated, taking her son’s hand between hers. “But I’m okay. I-I know everything’s gonna be okay.”

The concern didn’t leave his eyes, but he seemed convinced enough to smirk and nod.

“So, what do we think of Harry Potter?” Felicity asked as she got up to grab her laptop, more rhetorically than anything, for she knew young William loved the saga and, well, Mia was raised by _her_ , so she was pretty sure she didn’t have much of a choice. “I know the author is not a very nice person, but these are not-so-legally downloaded, so we won’t make her any richer… That being said, pirating is bad, don’t do it.”

Mia snorted. “You’re a hacker.”

“I don’t think I like your tone, young lady.”

They were quickly all settled on the living room, Felicity on one of the armchairs and William and Mia scattered together on the couch.

(None of them made any comment on the fact that the younger woman had a perfectly functional other armchair to sit on, yet decided to cuddle next to her brother, but if they had, she probably would’ve said the coach is comfier).

Around twenty minutes into the movie, Felicity started getting worried that none of the children were helpless color commentators like she was. Which, objectively, would’ve been good for them, because as much as Oliver claims it’s “cute” and “enlightening” when she couldn’t stop talking during movies or TV shows, socially, it was more likely to be considered “annoying” and frowned upon. On the other hand, how _boring_ it was just watching. 

Just when she was about to start the commentary herself, as the trolley passed by Harry and Ron on the Hogwarts Express, Mia bursted out, “I really hate this guy.”

Felicity glanced at her, absolutely baffled; William looked more offended. “ _Excuse me_?”

“He bought _all_ the candy!”

“Oh, come on.”

“And he’s annoying! He’s never gets anything done by himself, he’s just...” She stopped at the sight of her brother’s deathly stare. “What?”

“Choose your next words very carefully, Smoak.”

“Are you _threatening_ me?”

“No, of course I’m n—”

“Because that would be very stupid of you, considering who is the one with the fighting skills.”

“ _No_ , I’m not threatening you. You, on the other hand, sound very threatening.”

“I’m just warning you.”

“Oh, everybody knows that’s the same thing!”

The girl narrowed her eyes at him, a stare that was very clearly meant to be threatening. “ _In any case_ , he’s the worst.”

“No, he’s not!”

Felicity sighed dramatically, a smile drawn on her face. “I’m starting to think this was a bad idea.”

Her son waved a dismissive hand. “Nah, a little healthy debate never hurts.”

“Until someone gets shot with an arrow…” Mia muttered under her breath.

“See, _that_ was a threat.”

“No, it wasn’t.”

“Of course it was!”

“It wasn’t. Now shut up, man. Some of us are trying to watch the movie. Jeez.”

William rolled his eyes, and Felicity giggled softly. 

Oh, she was gonna have so much fun watching movies with those two. She couldn’t _wait_ to watch movies with their smaller versions as well, and watch _their_ dynamic evolve.

If only Oliver could…

She tried to block the thought out of her mind, but she failed. She really tried, to focus on the movie, on the lights of the boats as they sailed to the castle, on the the ring she was fidgeting with, on her kids, on anything but the unfairness of the whole thing. But she couldn’t help but feel angry, to feel guilty about enjoying the moment without him. With him being… potentially… 

_No. He’s not._

He would’ve _loved_ to be there. He would probably be even more mesmerized than her by their children. Of course, he’d gotten his own time with them, and she could bet he enjoyed every second of it, but it couldn’t possibly have been enough for him. How could it ever be, knowing it was all he would ever get? That he didn’t, wouldn’t be there with any version of them again? How could a few days with the people he would never see his children become be enough? 

It wasn’t. It couldn’t be. That couldn’t be just it. It It could not be enough. It was _not_ enough. 

When she snapped out of that thought, she was glad to see none of the kids noticed she was ever gone. _A win for the secretly broken mom_.

She turned all of her attention to catch up with their current debate.

“Oh, come on!” William was saying. “Of course you are. You are brave and bold and reckless, you like running straight into danger without thinking first—”

“I’m not like that.” He tilted his head, giving her an ‘are you being serious right now?’ look. “Shut up.”

“You are a _total_ Gryffindor. I bet you never took the quiz just because you knew you would get Gryffindor.”

“No, I didn’t take it because it was _old_ and stupid. He asked to not get into a House, then so can I, and I don’t _want_ to be in Gryffindor. It’s so overrated, everybody loves it just because _Harry_ _Potter_ is in it.”

Her brother shook his head, amused. “Where do you _want_ to be, then?”

“Slytherin. It has a bad rep, but it’s awesome. Ambitious, cunning, that’s great. Also, you know… Green.”

William narrowed his eyes, smiling. “I bet you’ll want to take all that back when I say this, but I happen to be a Slytherin.”

To his surprise, Mia didn’t argue or made a smart comment, only partes her lips a little and stared blankly, running her own sorting hat analysis in her mind. Then, she conceded, “Yeah, that actually makes sense. It is a little disappointing, though, because, you know, you’re a nerd, so you’d be a perfect Ravenclaw, but…”

“Oh, I’m a nerd? Aren’t _you_ the one having this conversation with me right now?”

“Yeah, but you started it.”

“I— You know what? I am gonna choose Ravenclaw. I’m not sharing a House with you, no way.”

“You… do realize we’re not actually going to Hogwarts, right?”

William gasped. “Take it back!”

Mia rolled her eyes. With a chuckle, Felicity took her risks of potentially killing the sleep-deprived-yet-sorta-fun mood and said, “Your dad’s a Slytherin.”

“Really?”

“Of course he is,” Mia smiled. “I mean, _green_.”

They laughed. Just then, William remembered something and turned to his sister with bright eyes.

“Oh! Speaking of green, did you get to wear the suit?”

Mia suddenly straightened up in her seat and jabbed a finger at him. “I knew you had to be involved in that!”

“Of course I was! Did you think Dad just guessed the right measures on his own?”

“No, I just… assumed he went through my clothes or something.”

William grimaced. “That would’ve been weird.”

“Oh, and _you_ going through my clothes isn’t?”

“I’m your _brother_.”

“Well, _brother_ , the suit was great, thank you.” He smiled softly. “ _But_ if you ever touch my stuff again, I’ll break your fingers.”

He gave her a fond look and pulled her closer to him; she tried to act reluctant, but she ended up curling up to his side rather happily.

“Whatever you say, Mi-Mi. Wait, you said the suit _was_ ? Oh, my god, did you _lost_ the suit after one battle?”

“Okay, first of all, it was one _huge_ battle. And I didn’t lose it, it’s probably still on the Legends’ ship.”

Felicity wanted to tell them that, knowing how extra Oliver was, he probably put the suit elsewhere safe after the re-spark so she would find it again one day. But before share the thought out loud, her phone rang. 

_No phone call at that time of the night can be any good_ , she thought, heart pounding in her chest.

However, she was more surprised than anything when she saw the caller ID said it was an unknown number calling. It was actually pretty interesting, considering that no one _unknown_ should have access to her number, for it didn’t technically _exist_ for an official phone company. Too curious to be scared now, she picked up.

The male voice on the other side sounded low-key frenetic. “Felicity Smoak?”

She frowned. “Yes?”

“This is Hal Jordan,” the voice said, confident and oddly cheerful, as if that meant anything to her at all. “We need to talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any of you guys read comic books? If you do, sorry, this will most definitely be messy. If you don’t, great! Me neither, so this should be interesting.  
> I got this idea even before the finale, after the Crisis comic thingy was released and spoilers implied even more Green Lantern references. I did my research and it was really enlightening. They had so much material to work with that would’ve made everyone happy(ish?) But anyway, this got into my head and here we are. I still have no idea what I’m doing, but… I hope it works out.  
> Also, I totally let out any objectivity at the Harry Potter part. Sorry. Shoutout to my mutuals for the ideas about which House they would be into, though, it really helped!  
> Thank you for putting up with me and my stuff, y’all! Love you!


	8. Emerald Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An new face shows up with a low-key crazy plan to fix things. The Diggles have a really weird day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you’re still here after all this time, I love you and I’m sorry. I could get into the hundred excuses I have for not updating, but nobody wants to read me whining (that’s what Twitter is for) and I don’t wanna make you wait no more.  
> Gosh, I really hope this is good and makes sense. But like, even if it doesn’t, it’s still better than canon, so whatever, I guess.  
> Enjoy!

_Do not talk to strangers_. 

A very simple, universal social law, taught to most children at a very young age and usually leading to mistrust being their very first instinct while facing a new person as adults. It’s rather sad, really, having to shield themselves to even the slightest possibility of a potential threat, but that’s how the world works.

That was one of the things Donna Smoak taught her daughter very well, and Felicity lived to it throughout her whole life: he rejected candy and “Mommy’s friends” picking her up as a child, and never left drinks unsupervised or picked car rides, and (usually) didn’t accept relevant data from unknown sources without a second thought. She was friendly with new people, of course, sometimes overly, but no stranger would get her confidence right ahead.

Excepting, of course, that _one_ time she kind of instantly fell in love and married that one stranger that came to her for help in very, very legally and morally questionable matters. For what mattered, she _did_ know him before, and he was technically her boss, so she didn’t have much of a choice at helping him (nor at the falling in love part, to be fair). But in any case, that, specifically, worked out okay.

Mostly. Ignoring a few many dangerous situations it got her into and the fact that he was now pretty much possibly dead.

Anyway, _that_ last part was exactly why she was here now, breaking that self-preserving rule, meeting with a low-key shady and crazy-sounding stranger that called her at four in the morning: because said stranger had said that he talked to her husband, _somehow_ , and that he thought he knew a way they could help him return, _whatever_ that meant. As dubious as the whole situation was, she was not gonna let even the tiniest bit of a chance to get Oliver back slip away just like that.

She was being cautious, obviously, she had promised her children that much. Meeting at a crowded place was Williams’ —both of them— main demand for fully agreeing with staying at the cabin —the little one more reluctantly than the other— and take care of himself and her sister. Mia was a little harder to convince (“You can’t possibly expect me to wait here and _babysit_ while you go on your own to see some random dude that might save Dad! Either it’s a trap and you get kidnapped or it’s true and I miss all the fun!”), but with Felicity and _two_ versions of her brother there to talk her out of it, she had to give in and sulkily swear she would stay and wouldn’t sneak out when Will was distracted. 

(Still, Felicity knew there was a fair chance that she would catch the young woman following her at some point. She was her father’s daughter, after all).

She checked the time on her phone —13:27, only two minutes after the last time she checked. Because of course time would mess with her and slow down just then.

The tapping of her fingers on the table went quicker as she looked around the restaurant, looking for… Well, anything. Big Belly Burger was particularly crowded that day: the waiters had to all but run, the take-away line almost reached the door and there wasn’t a single free spot to sit, excepting the stool next to her, where her purse rested possessively. Which was good for her. 

Although the noise worsened her headache caused by the lack of sleep — _thanks, movie night and depressive thoughts, for that_ —, this large amount of people meant that: one, she would have plenty of witnesses if this was, in fact, a trap to get her killed; two, there was a big chance that a few good samaritans would try to frustrate a potential kidnapping; and, three, any regular person who was planning on getting lunch there would most likely not even bother to go in and choose a different, less cramped place instead, so she would have less trouble identifying this Jordan guy. 

So, everything was going suspiciously according to the plan. It was a good feeling, for a change.

Exactly two minutes and thirty seconds later, the little bell hanging over the entrance rang, and a tired-looking man stood out from the rest of the people. 

Something about him, Felicity couldn’t pinpoint what, was oddly out of place. Could’ve been the fact that he failed to act casually as he searched around with his eyes, but that just gave the impression that he was a very clumsy and well dressed thief, not the probably-not-from-this-Earth vibe she got. She wondered for a second if her experience in that kind of stuff forced her develop some sort of radar or something.

When he walked past her, clearly still not finding what he looked for, she took her chances and cleared her throat. “Are you Hal Jordan?”

“Yes!” He said, a little too enthusiastically, before turning back to see her. When he did, a dazzled expression crossed his face for a moment, and he smiled.

“Wow, you’re punctual. Hi. I’m Felicity.” She held out a hand, then hurried to add, “In case that isn’t obvious, or you were looking for someone else... at the exact same location and time we agreed to meet. Which would honestly be… odd.”

The man’s smile widened a bit, somewhat fondly, with more familiarity than the usual amused smile her babbling caused on people.

“Sure,” was all he said, taking the hand she was offering with an awkward motion that made Felicity feel as though as she was supposed to do a special handshake and forgot how it went. She didn’t know what to say after that, so she just took a few seconds to really look at him.

Honest to herself, he was not what she expected when they talked. It was an interesting surprise, though. Visually pleasant, even, now that she was seeing him up close and his dark circles weren’t all she noticed — _but_ she was a married (technically, widowed, but there was no time to unpack all that) woman and that would’ve been a tad inappropriate to think. He was tall, annoyingly so, and just barely well-built, not enough to look massive, nor to pass for skinny. He had light brown hair and hazel eyes… and he seemed unable to take them away from her.

Felicity was just about to say something about the rather uncomfortable silence when he finally spoke again: “Do you dye your hair?”

That put her out more than it probably should have. She opened and closed her mouth a few times, refusing to lose her temper right ahead with the last possibility she might have to save her husband. But, even after counting to twenty in her mind, she still couldn’t help herself.

“Is there something medically wrong with your social skills,” she asked, talking as calm and slowly as she could manage, “or are you just a jerk?”

Hal smiled again. “My social skills are fine.”

“Right.”

She grabbed her purse and placed it on her lap, leaving the stool for him to sit.

“I’m sorry,” he said, noticing her defensive posture. “Really, I didn’t mean to… Well. It’s just… You look very different from the Felicity I know. The one from my Earth.”

She arched her eyebrows, trying to push back her curiosity. Yeah, yeah, multiple Earths had become a regular matter (rather unfortunately), but it wasn’t every day that she actually got to know about _her_ alternative selves. What did _different_ mean? As in, physically or did she have another personality as well? Was the Felicity from his Earth capable of forming a single sentence without babbling or saying something that made things awkward? That one seemed unlikely. Was her whole life and history drastically not the same, or just slightly? If the latter, how slightly? Did she never meet Cooper? Oh, god, did she never meet Oliver? Was she not into technology? Was she just a waitress at an ugly, cockroach-infested coffee shop on Las Vegas and served tasteless eggs and burnt ‘bacon’ from a very questionable source? Was she also not strai—?

Okay. Yeah, _definitely_ no time give up to curiosity and unpack all that, she concluded after a second of considering. There were more important business to attend, and if she got started with the questions, she would actually be dead herself by the time she got back on track and helped Oliver.

“As fascinating as that sounds,” she said, closing her eyes as if rejecting the possibility of all that information hurt her, “you said on the phone that you could help me. That you could... bring my husband back.”

Hal smiled. “Straight to business, that’s my girl.” He grimaced. “I mean, not _mine_ , I— Don’t tell Oliver I said that. Although, your Oliver doesn’t— No, I’m pretty sure he’d kick my ass, too.” Felicity stared sternly. “Yes. I did say that. And I can… I think.”

“You _think_?”

“I mean, powers and afterlife aren’t exactly a precise science, there’s always a chance…” He trailed off, his eyes losing their focus for a second like he was remembering something. “No, you know what? Forget it. I can, and I will.”

Felicity decided to ignore the stabbing pain in her chest she felt at the word ‘afterlife’ (because, well, she knew, but that didn’t make it any less hard to hear just like that) and narrowed her eyes. “Why?”

“I— _Why_?”

“I mean, don’t get me wrong, you seem nice and I’ll certainly take whatever help I can get, but why are you here, on this Earth, with this me, offering to do this?”

Hal seemed troubled. He could’ve worked out a simple answer right away, easily; he had a dozen of half-truths to choose from. But the whole, absolute truth was a little more complicated to formulate in words. And he was certain any version Felicity wouldn’t have been satisfied with anything but it. So, he tried to think how to start summoning it all up without breaking her and himself in the process.

“I died, recently,” he finally said.

She frowned, unimpressed. “Yeah, we all did.”

“No, before that. Or, during, I guess. I–“ He sighed and shook his head. “Well, I’m not gonna give you the whole story because it’s really long and kind of depressing and I know that’s the last thing you need right now, but I died, and let’s just say my soul was a little troubled and didn’t exactly go straight to Heaven. I got stuck in the Purgatory, and I met your husband there.”

He paused, giving her a much appreciated moment to let the information sink in properly. 

“That’s...” She hesitated. “Sorry, I get the sense that you don’t really wanna talk about what happened to you, but I feel like it’d be rude to just ask about Oliver and I—”

“It’s fine, your sense is correct.”

“Great. So, he’s in the Purgatory?”

“Oh, no. He moved on after the Spectre left him, though I can’t tell exactly where he is at the moment; I didn’t get to fully track him down right away, and the afterlife is tricky. But don’t worry, we’ll manage.”

“Wait, wait, wait… He’s not the Spectre anymore?”

“No. I am. That’s why I met him there.”

“Right…” She lifted her glasses to press her eyes briefly. “And… he sent you here?”

“No, not exactly. He talked me through the whole journey, made it… easier, almost. And it was like that he just couldn’t help himself, talking about his family. You, your children... He loves you a lot, you know?”

Felicity felt as if her heart performed some kind of complicated aerial maneuver inside her chest, tears stinging at the back of her throat. How could she _not_ know? How could she miss the fact that she and their kids are the whole world to him? How, when he fought so many times for them, to be with them? When he _died_ to keep them safe? When she had known him for so long, learned how hard and passionately he could love, yet never quite imagined she would see him look at someone with such pure, unconcealed adoration as he looked at them? 

“I know”, she managed to say.

“He didn’t really ask me to do anything,” Hal went on after a heavy silence, “but I could feel he wanted to —I mean, there was a moment I could literally see everything, so I _knew_. I wasn’t sure if I should, but then your name came up on another serious supernatural conversation, and I made up my mind. By the way, you made quite the impression with the Guardians, huh?”

“You-you know those guys?”

“They are— _were_ my bosses. In any case, it seemed like way too big of a coincidence to ignore…” He paused, as if pondering whether to confess the next part or not. At the end, almost reluctantly, he added, “But that’s actually just an excuse. I probably would’ve come anyway.”

Felicity tilted her head. It was obvious he wasn’t very comfortable with continuing this path of the conversation, but she could also tell part of him was desperate to keep talking and let out whatever horrible true he was holding in. She decided to push gently. “You still haven’t answered my question: _why_?”

He locked his eyes with hers for a few seconds. Not _hers_ , precisely, but the eyes of someone else. Someone he actually knew and confided in. Someone he cared about and that cared about him, no matter how much they loved to act like they still hated each other.

With a sigh, he said, “Oliver’s my friend, too, back on my Earth. He’s good man. One of the best I know, actually. He–he did a lot for me, a lot. And I saw that your Oliver’s a good man here as well. And…” His voice broke and he cleared his throat. “I’m not gonna lie to you, I’m also being a little selfish with this, because I’m partly doing it to… redeem myself. I did a lot of bad things, Felicity, and I will try to make as much things right as I can. But mostly, he– he _deserves_ that I make this right for him. And you and your kids deserve it as well, I’m sure.”

For a long while, Felicity just stared at him, in a way she was sure was completely awkward and would’ve gotten any other person to stand up and go straight to get a restraining order, or at least call her out for her previous comment about questionable social skills. But he simply held her gaze steadily, as if he knew she was trying to figure out whether he was trustable or not. Hal himself had his doubts about it.

“Okay,” she said then, and his eyes widened.

“You believe me?” He asked.

“I do, actually. Not that it mattered if I didn’t, I’m way too desperate to get picky right now and I’d work with you anyway, but I do. I trust you.”

Hal smiled softly, bouncing off his seat. 

“So, how are we doing this?”

“Hopefully, with a little help. I know I’m supposed to be an all-powerful god and, technically, I should be able to do it by myself, but my self-esteem is not at the best moment and I’ve never been great at multitasking, so I’m not risking it. And I need to get to my replacement for the Corps anyway, so we might as well.”

Felicity narrowed her eyes. “I don’t… think I know what that means. I’m not 100% sure, though, I’m pretty sleep-deprived right now.”

“What? The Corps?” He sounded confused. “The Green Lantern Corps? Do you not—? Don’t you have a Green Lantern around here?”

Felicity pressed her lips together for a few seconds. “I feel like making a joke about colorful lamps would be disrespectful, so I’m just gonna say no…”

“Well, the— Didn’t you read the book of Oa?”

“Yeah, but I was focused on specific stuff, I didn’t exactly went into details.”

The man opened his mouth, looking slightly offended, but then shook his head. “I’ll explain on the way.”

“And where, exactly, are we going?” She asked, standing up to follow him outside the restaurant.

“I don’t know. You’ll say.”

“Look, if we’re gonna work together, you have to stop it with the vague and mysterious answers.”

Hal chuckled. “I’ve been told you’re friends with one John Diggle.”

* * *

Little Sara Diggle had been having a weird couple of days.

Of course, as an adventurous six-( _almost seven_ , thank you very much)-year-old with a very large imagination, living in a very crazy world and having heroes as parents (but _shhh_ , that was a secret), anything could make days weird. Although, that could also make little things that would normally be considered weird seem like regular, boring stuff. But _that_ particular couple of days had been really, really weird.

It all started yesterday, when Mommy came earlier from work and started _crying_ when she saw her. 

She and her brother knew crying is okay, it can make you feel better, but their parents didn’t do it a lot. And that wasn’t the regular mom-cry, that one when she tear up just a bit when she thought the kids were not looking and sniffle quietly, no. She dropped to her knees in front of her, let out a funny noise similar to the one she made when she hit her head against the kitchen cabinets, and then the tears started falling and falling and falling. No matter how much the little girl wiped her face with her little hands, how many times she promised her mom that everything was okay, she just went on sobbing and saying “Sara, my baby, Sara”, over and over. That went on for a long time (actually, just around five minutes, but for Sara it felt like _forever_ ), she hugged her so, so very tight, but she didn’t complain as she would usually do, because Mom seemed to need it. Then, JJ showed up from their room and he got super squeezed as well, and he didn’t say anything, either, just shared a confused look with his sister, at which she just shrugged and continued to pat their mom’s back soothingly. When she finally calmed down, she apologized a lot —Sara made sure to remind her that she shouldn’t be sorry for showing her emotions—, and explained to them that she had a very long day at work and missed them very much.

(The twins then had a long, serious conversation under the table, discussing what, specifically, ‘a long day’ meant.

“Mom and Dad have long days all the time,” the boy said, “but they never cry like that.”

“Maybe she didn’t get the bad guy today?” the girl suggested. “Or maybe a puppy got hurt. I always cry when puppies get hurt.”

JJ looked dismayed. “Oh, no. I hope it was the bad guy option. You think we should ask her?”

“No. She might get sad again.”

“Mmh. I hope puppies are okay.”)

Then, they sat on the couch to watch TV, and another weird thing happened: the boring channel with the woman talking about stuff that happened in the world started streaming _Beebo’s Adventures_ where he was huge and played _tag_ with lots of tiny people. Weirder even, Mommy looked really upset and turned it off almost right away.

“But mom!” Sara had complained. “It was a new episode! I never saw it before!”

Her brother, on the other hand, seemed a little worried. “Why did Beebo eat that car?”

Mom didn’t answer. 

Everything seemed to go back to normal after that, but then, Daddy came home a few hours later looking... Well, like crap. Of course, Sara wouldn’t say that out loud, because she’d already lost five dollars to the swear jar last week, but he really, really did. She couldn’t exactly explain why (to be fair, she’s only almost-seven), but she immediately _knew_ something was very, very wrong.

But when she asked him, all he did was stare at her with a weird expression for a few seconds before picking her and JJ up and squeezing them hard. 

And if that wasn’t enough weirdness for an entire evening, a very strange man —Mom and Dad’s friend, they said— came by and stayed for dinner. He was nice; he ate all of his food with no complaints and then helped the little ones with their drawings, but he looked kind of scared the whole time. Sara asked him repeatedly if his tummy hurt and was very careful to explain that it was okay if he were to be sick, but it would be better if he went to the bathroom first so he doesn’t ruin his clothes, but every time he just smiled a bit and said he was fine. He looked better by the time he left, just before bedtime, but she still thought he should see a doctor or at least ask his mom for a magical healing hug. That made him a little sad, she could tell, so she thought maybe his mom was working late that day, so she offered to ask her mom for a hug for him.

“Her hugs are the most magical of them all,” she told him. “They can cure _anything_ and make you feel better right away!”

He smiled really big then. “I know.”

Sara didn’t understand how he could possibly know, but was pretty sure that she would only get disappointed with more confusing answers if she asked, so she didn’t.

Everything went on suspiciously normal after that (except maybe that Mom and Dad tucked them together in for bed instead of just Dad, when it was his turn, but that happened most times they were both home) and the girl couldn’t quite get rid of the feeling that things were about to get weird again, even the next day.

It was shortly after lunch that her hunch was proven right.

The four of them were in the living room together, like any other Sunday with no unexpected emergencies from work. JJ was working on his math homework while his sister sulkily _pretended_ to do the same, because, well, _boring_ ; their parents were on the couch together, just leaning on each other and holding hands as they searched for something that wasn’t about fights and huge stuffed animals on TV. 

Sara was about to finish the fifteenth flower she was drawing at the edge of her notebook when the door rang. She perked up at the sound, bouncing on her seat with anticipation. She _hated_ the only-adults-get-the-door rule. Sure, it was in case it was a bad guy calling, but that only happened _once_. So dramatic.

When Dad finally opened and she got a peak of who was behind, she couldn’t help but jump to her feet.

“Aunty Fissty!”

She ran to Felicity so fast she didn’t get to see the woman’s expression when she saw her, or she would’ve noticed how it was as weird as her parents’ yesterday, but different.

The expression of someone who was struck by a series of epiphanies: one, she actually knew and loved the little girl she just instinctively crouched to catch into her arms; two, that little girl had been erased from existence by one of her friends because he had an emotional breakdown… or something; three, the little girl was also been brought back by her husband as he reconstructed the multiverse; four, she had lived through the same day of meeting Lyla and John’s first child/ren on three different occasions; and finally, there was one and only _one_ thing that remained the same that day on every timeline.

_Don’t ask me to say I don’t love you._

She barely had time to recover before JJ followed his sister with a big smile and hugged her tightly.

“Aunty Fissty, Fissty, Fissty!” Sara chanted. “Hi, hi, hi!”

(Fissty was actually what she called her when she was a baby. Now, she knew and could pronounce her name correctly, and she did sometimes, but due to the amount of energy contained in such a small body, she had the habit of speaking too quickly and rushing the words, specially when she was happy and excited —which happened a lot with Felicity around—, so it ended up sounding like that anyway. But she didn’t mind, and everyone always said that the nickname “suited her”, so it was okay).

“Oh, that’s one huge welcome,” Felicity tried to sound cheerful instead of choked. “Hey, little bugs.”

“We missed you a lot!” Sara said.

“Are the bad guys not looking for you anymore?” Her twin hurried to ask, pulling away. “You can come back to town and visit us now?”

Felicity hesitated for a moment. “Yeah, the bad guys are gone. Your uncle Oliver made them go away.”

“Really? Is he here?” The girl pulled away, too. “Where is he? Can he come visit soon, too?”

A kind of sad look flashed across the blonde’s face. She looked up —to Dad, Sara realized when she followed her gaze. He also made something with his face, raising his brows and tilting his head while mouthing something the girl was pretty sure was _‘what’_.

And just like that, weirdness was officially back.

“He’s… somewhere else,” said Felicity after a moment. 

Before she could say more, Sara cut her off, “Where? Can we go get him now?”

Then, a man the girl hadn’t noticed before talked, “We will. We just need some extra help.”

“We can help!” she said at the same time her brother grunted, “We’re not supposed to talk to strangers.”

Felicity chuckled. “Yeah, me neither, sweetie… This is Hal, he’s… a friend, sort of. Hal, these beautiful little people are Sara and JJ, John and Lyla’s kids.” She looked up at the couple that was standing behind them with a puzzled expression. “Oh, right. And those are John and Lyla.”

Hal waved and smiled charmingly. “Hal Jordan, nice to meet you.”

They waved back slowly, puzzled.

“Felicity, what’s going on?” John finally asked.

“Uh, yes. Right.” She stood again, one hand still laying on each child’s shoulder. “Maybe we could… talk in the kitchen?”

“An adult-only conversation?” Sara guessed, rolling her eyes.

“ _Boring_ adult-only talk,” nodded Felicity. “Oh! But before that, you two wanna know a secret?”

“Yeah!” They said at unison.

She crouched down to their height and with an eerie voice she whispered, “While I was gone, hiding from the bad guys and everything…” She looked around, like checking no one else was listening, “I had a _baby._ ”

The kids gasped.

“Like, a _baby_ baby?” said Sara in a somehow high-pitched whisper. “A real life one?”

“Yeah.”

“Is it a boy baby or a girl baby?” 

“A girl. Her name is Mia. Look…” Felicity took her phone out of her purse and searched for the latest picture of Mia (one making an adorably weird face for her big big brother). 

Sara didn’t even try to lower her voice this time. “Oh, my gosh, she’s so cute!” 

Her brother remained a little calmer. “Do we get to meet her?”

“Yes, can we, please? I promise we’ll be careful, we have a lot of baby dolls and we are very careful with them, right, JJ?”

“Uh-huh!”

The woman smiled softly. “Of course, you’ll get to meet her very soon. But I have to tell you, she’s a little wilder than dolls. And she drools a lot.”

“We can handle it,” JJ assured, and his twin agreed with a nod.

“Do you have more pictures?”

“I have _lots_ of pictures. You can take the phone and look at them while I go talk to your dad, let me just delete some…” She slid her finger across the screen a few times, grimacing. “Yeah, you do not wanna see this one. Or this one. I think that’s— Oh, no, that’s _definitely_ not kid-appropriate. Okay, that’s all. Here.”

She handed Sara the device, and she and JJ started going through the photos, letting out _ohs_ and _aws_ at Mia’s cute little face, but the girl became quickly bored as Felicity and the rest of the adults disappeared. 

“What do you think they’re talking about?” She asked her brother.

“Work stuff, probably— Aww, look at her cute bear suit!”

“Mmh. Something happened, I can tell.”

“I don’t know. But they’ll fix it, they always do.”

“No, this is different.” She dropped the phone on his hands and very carefully made her way to the kitchen. She stood by the left side of the entrance, there where the folding door didn’t fully closed and created a small gap.

“Spying is wrong,” JJ whispered next to her.

“I’m not spying, I’m _earsdropping_.”

“It’s ‘eavesdropping’.”

“But you do it with the ears.”

The boy frowned. He was pretty sure that wasn’t right, but he couldn’t really argue that logic. “Whatever, it’s wrong.” 

Sara rolled her eyes and seized her brother’s arm, pulling him closer so they were both snuggled together against the wall. 

At first, they heard nothing but the characteristic sound of muttering. It was for those kind of situations they had ‘the echo-gossip system’: every time one catched a word, they repeated it to the other in the lowest voice they could make, and tried to figure out the context later. The six-year-olds’ favorite activity was discussing the details of A.R.G.U.S. and Team Arrow operations when their parents were sleeping; those were _far_ more entertaining stories than the ones in their books.

(John and Lyla never got to figure out why the twins suddenly despised bedtime reading so much. Because, “they all have silly animals speaking, and animals don’t speak, not even the silly ones” didn’t seem like a truthful reason, but they weren’t about to have an argument over that, mostly because they were certain they’d loose, so they decided to let it go).

Sara pursed her lips in concentration and then repeated, “Earth.”

“Friends,” JJ whispered shortly after.

“Longer.”

“City.”

“Before he said ‘destroyed’.”

“That sounds sad. Lantern.”

“Yeah. Goat.”

“Spirit. Wait, goat?”

“Or maybe ‘whoa’. Planet.”

“Site.”

“No, that was ‘parasite’.”

“Okay. Uh, demons?”

“This story is so weird...”

“Mandatory.”

“No, that wasn’t— _Oliver_ , they’re talking about uncle Oliver!”

They remained silent then, squeezing themselves closer to the door. Their father’s voice got slightly louder, but more erratic and hard to understand as well. Hal’s, on the other hand, became calm and stern; it wasn’t clear enough for the kids to understand completely, but not echoing-worthy either, so they just listened.

It was about Oliver, that was for sure. Apparently, he was stuck somewhere and Felicity and Hal were going to go rescue him, but John wasn’t very sure. Must be someplace dangerous, Sara thought, and was tempted to run inside and ask her dad to go with them and help uncle Oliver, but she helped herself pressing closer to her twin.

A lot of words the children didn’t quite get were said next, mostly by Hal. Echo-gossiping far forgotten —because, honestly, not even the coolest story was worth that kind of effort from them, not yet—, they just waited for the sounds to make any sense to them.

After a while, they started to.

“—isn’t random, it is your destiny,” Hal was saying.

John scoffed. “Why should I trust _you_?”

“Don’t trust him. Trust _me_.”

“You don’t know him, either, Felicity—”

“No, but I’ve gone a long way trying to save Oliver, Digg, I know more than you could possibly imagine.”

Silence. There was a soft noise, somebody moving. Then, Lyla spoke, her voice gentle. “John, we have to…” She broke off and sighed. “He brought our baby girl back to us.”

Outside, JJ frowned at his sister, accusing. He mouthed, “ _Where did you go?_ ”

Sara shrugged. “ _I don’t know_.”

“Okay, say I believe you,” John went on. “Say it’s my destiny to join this… crazy… extraterrestrial… institution or whatever. How do I go from that to saving my friend?”

“With this.”

After a long beat, John let out a rather sarcastic laugh and said, “So, it’s like getting an alien Visa or something? No, thanks, man. That’s very flattering, but I’m already married.”

Sara and JJ shared a confused look. That conversation just kept getting weirder and weirder...

“Yeah, that’s truly hilarious,” Hal replied, humorless.

And then, there was a little ‘click’ and bright color green flowed from the kitchen and through the slits of the door, illuminating and faintly painting the walls, ceiling, furniture and two little bodies standing on the entrance. 

The twins, as similar as they might be, had very different primary reactions: although both reached out to the other with one hand, while JJ immediately covered his face with an arm and squeezed his eyes shut, Sara opened hers wide and looked around. 

After a few seconds of awe, the girl rushed to slide the door and drag her brother inside with her. Everyone seemed too mesmerized looking at the shiny thing Hal was holding to notice right away.

“What is _that_?!” She asked, stretching up to catch a glimpse inside the weirdly shaped box; the light was too bright to take a good look at what was the source, but it didn’t hurt her eyes.

Lyla glared at her, but didn’t say anything, which meant either that she wasn’t really mad at the children for getting in during an adult-only conversation or was too shocked to scold them.

(Probably the latter…)

“It’s a power ring,” Hal explained with a proud grin, picking the now barely-gleaming piece out of the box with two fingers. 

JJ, now more interested rather than scared to get in trouble, asked, “What does it do?”

“It… makes you a part of the Green Lantern Corps.” After a dramatic pause, he made a funny face and added, “And gives you superpowers.”

“Cool! Can I wear it?”

“I’m sure you could, young man. It only works for very brave and strong people. But unfortunately, this one’s a very fussy ring, and it wants to be worn by the person it chose.”

The kid’s mood deflated a little, but his curiosity didn’t. “And who did it choose?”

The man arched his eyebrows and tilted his head towards John, who looked slightly... nauseous, for some reason.

“Daddy!” Sara gasped then, running to him and shaking one of his arms. “You’re gonna have powers!”

“What will he do?” Asked JJ.

“Pretty much anything.”

“ _Anything_?!”

“I mean, not _anything_ . Technically, the ring’s abilities should be limited by its wielder’s willpower and ima—” He cut off when he saw the kid’s _huh?_ look. “Yeah, anything.”

“Daddy, make a puppy!” The little girl chirped, shaking his arm again.

He blinked a few times to focus his eyes on her, pulled from his silent reverie. “What?”

“A puppy, daddy, with your powers!” 

Lyla made a silent sign to the kids that basically meant ‘not now’. Their faces twisted into an identical pout, but they knew better than arguing.

John took in a shaky breath and looked at the ring again. “It’s like… like it’s calling me.”

Hal held it out to him. “It is. You’re lucky I brought it here to you, instead of the other way around. When it found me— Well, I didn’t have someone to explain the whole thing right away, it–it wasn’t pretty.”

Saying Diggle hesitated was both an under and overstatement. His mind raced, thinking and considering and then rethinking what all of that meant for what seemed like hours; in reality though, he only pondered for a few seconds before asking, “With this… we will bring Oliver back?”

“That’s… not the only reason why you should accept this,” Hal said, “but yes. We will.”

“Okay. Okay, sure, I’ll try. It’s not like I’m not used to the hero way. And everyone’s getting superpowers these days,” –he eyed his wife suggestively–, “I might as well catch up.”

“I don’t have powers,” Felicity chimed in.

He smiled softly. “No, you have something way more powerful”.

Sara frowned, because she didn’t really understood what that meant, but it sounded cheesy and she didn’t wanted to ask. She just wanted her that to put the darn thing on and do… something cool, hopefully.

“So, what, is there, like, a catchphrase to ignite it?” John asked, holding the ring as if it was about to explode (and as far as he knew, it could). “‘Lights on’ or something?”

Jordan made a face. “No, not that. There is a, uh, ritual. An oath.” He sighed, melancholic. “It goes, ‘In brightest day, in blackest night, no evil shall escape my sight. Let those who worship evil’s might, beware my power: Green Lantern’s light’.”

The twins looked at each other and sniggered in sync, covering their mouths with their hands to muffle the sound. Their parents gave them a half chiding, half amused look.

Felicity, on the other hand, didn’t try to hide her ‘are-you-serious’ face and prodded them gently. “And I thought Oliver was corny…”

“Yeah, man, that’s a little, uh,” –John cleared his throat–, “long. I like the ‘beware my power’ part, tough.”

At that point, the children weren’t the only ones all but vibrating with expectation. Diggle gave one last thoughtful look at the ring and took it towards his right middle finger. It was as if the whole thing was happening in slow-motion, but no one was really sure whether it only felt like that or he was actually stalling. The tension just kept increasing with every apparently infinite second...

“Wait!” Felicity burst suddenly. “Just… to be sure, he will be able to get it off later if he wants to, right? Like, we won’t have to cut his finger off or anything…, right?”

“I wish it was that easy,” Hal said. At everyone’s freaked out expression, he added, “I mean… It can be tricky sometimes, but yeah. It– it’ll be fine.”

That wasn’t exactly convincing, but Diggle sighed. “If that it takes…”

( _“...to bring Oliver back, it can fucking chop all of my fingers off”_ ).

He got it over with in one ungracious move. For an instant, just a fleeting moment, the ring seemed to come alive on his finger, gleaming green light that somehow seemed to push the air that surrounded him (nobody actually felt it, but Sara could’ve sworn she saw Felicity’s hair fly around her face). Then, it returned to its previous faint glow.

“So?” Felicity asked anxiously. “Do you feel any different?”

“Uh, no, not really.”

“It doesn’t really work like that.”

“Maybe do something,” JJ suggested. “To see if it works.”

Sara grabbed a knife from one of the cabinets and offered it to her dad way too happily. “See if you bleed!”

It was Lyla who took it instead. “No, sweetie, we are not stabbing Daddy.”

“Try flying!”

Hal almost yelled, “Do _not_ try flying.”

“Then—!”

“Let’s just agree that no testing in small rooms with breakable objects. Trust me, it could get messy. I think it’d be better if we go somewhere else, we’re gonna need a little more space for…” He looked at the children, “the thing.”

As they went on talking and Sara realized she was _not_ gonna see her father using his new powers, the idea of throwing a tantrum seemed very appealing.

Stupid weird day and stupid adult business.

* * *

“Is this enough space for you?” Felicity walked a few steps ahead the two men, contemplating the place with a dazed look. 

Somehow, the backyard of the Queen mansion remained nearly immaculate. It was as if the herbage had not been notified that the owners no longer lived there; everything was as green as it could be, only a few yellowish spots of dried grass here and some trees with a bunch of missing leaves there. Was it because of some rich people’s magic trick that made it stay perfect, or someone was still hired to go and take care of it, Felicity didn’t know, but it was impressive.

It was weird. Everything else around it was noticeably abandoned; even the majestic, castle-like building was moldy and dull, painted in a grey that was not the grey of the actual structure. It was as though as all the life and warmth that once existed in the whole site was now contained in the garden only.

Which was ironic, considering, well, the tombstone in the middle of it.

“Can’t believe this place actually exists,” Hal commented, looking around in awe. “Back on my Earth, it’s like an urban legend. Some said it’s hunted.”

Diggle chuckled. “Might as well be.”

“Yes, I can see that. Baleful. There’s not… an actual body buried there, though, right?”

“No. It’s Oliver’s dad, he died at the sea.”

“Right. He was with him when it happened here...”

As much as she was dying to know what that meant, exactly, Felicity didn’t ask. No time for alternative universes’ history at the moment.

“So, what’s first?”

“First, we practice, right?” Diggle asked, somewhat anxious but trying really hard not to show. “I mean, sure you… Lanterns… have some kind of training before you go… lanterning around?”

Hal grimaced slightly. “This will be your training.”

“This will— You’re kidding.” He turned to Felicity. “He’s kidding.”

She looked panicked.

“We will go through the basics afterwards. Someone will contact you in a while for your official schooling, or the ring will take you to the Oa for it—”

“The ring will… What?”

“—But I think we all want to get this over with as soon as possible, right?”

There was a short moment of hesitation for both John and Felicity as they stared at each other. Then, he nodded and his voice didn’t tremble a bit as he said, “Yes. Let’s do it.”

The other man took a deep breath. “Alright. So, as I told you before, you two have to focus on getting Oliver’s soul back here. That’s your only job.”

“No big deal,” Felicity teased. “Just dragging his ass back from the afterlife. Easy peasy.”

“You have read a book written in time itself, so, yes, easy peasy.”

John nudged her. “Really?”

“Yeah, remind me to tell you about it later.”

“Anyhow,” remarked Hal, “like the Book, the way there can be tricky. So, Felicity, you need to focus on finding Oliver, guide yourselves to him. You’ll be the one to actually make contact while John holds you there and then brings you back.”

“So, basically, I’m back to being the Queens’ driver,” Diggle snorted.

His friend smiled softly. “I’m not sure we can afford you now.”

“I’ll make you guys a discount.”

The other man cleared his throat. “While you’re on that, I’ll—”

“Build Oliver a new body because he lost his when we moved in the new universe,” Felicity ended for him, inpatient as ever (specially when it came to, well, un-kill her husband). “We got it the first time.”

“That’s not what— I’m not building anything, it’s not a stuffed animal, I can’t just _make_ a human body. I mean, I could, technically, but I’m not trying that for the first time with my best friend…”

Diggle looked really offended and nudged Felicity again, mouthing, “ _Best friend? Yeah, right_.”

“I’m going back to the moment before this Earth was destroyed and getting his body from there, when it was physically healthy but soulless. That’s why we need to get his soul at the same time, because—”

“If we don’t, we’d might get stuck with a cute but useless and potentially murderous vessel.” Felicity grinned. “Yeah, this is not our first rodeo, man.”

Hal opened his mouth to say something, a snarky reply, she guessed, but then simply shook his head and positioned himself next to Robert Queen’s gravestone, right where Oliver’s once was. 

“Like I told you before,” he started then, ceremoniously, “he ring’s powers are only limited by your imagination and willpower. You have to—”

“Should we hold hands?” Felicity whispered at John. “I feel like we should hold hands.”

“Yeah, right?” 

They did. Hal stared at them for a few seconds with a funny face. 

“You don’t— Nevermind.” He sighed and returned to his previous solemn expression. “Close your eyes, John. You were chosen by the ring because of your strength, because you are capable of overcoming even your worst fears. You have that in you and you can use it. You have to picture what you want, what you need, as vividly as possible…”

Felicity didn’t exactly realized, but she closed her eyes as well. It was a little awkward, having to stand there doing nothing while the guys did… something? She was having trouble focusing on _trying_ to understand what was going on; Hal’s voice was barely background noise inside her head. To be fair, though, the last couple of days she had been having trouble focusing on anything that wasn’t Oliver or the absolute devastation of losing him or failing her children and making their lives miserable.

At some point, as she held onto the conviction that she didn’t and wasn’t going to ruin her family’s future, she heard John gasping. But before she had time to snap out of her thoughts and see what happened, the world seemed to start spinning around her like a pinwheel. 

Saying that she was lightheaded was an understatement. She could swear she was _floating_. She didn’t open her eyes, but bright green light blinked through her eyelids in different intensities, and it was as though as she could see the world and her mind and most likely her soul just bending, being tear apart into tiny pieces and thrown into a wild sea to drown. Terror didn’t completely take over her only because, somehow, she could still feel Diggle’s hand clutching hers.

 _Fe-li-ci-ty,_ she heard a voice say. Could’ve been her own mind talking to her, or John, or freaking God telling her to stop panicking and focus, she didn’t know, but it worked. She reached out to the ocean carrying her away, looking for something to stabilize herself. 

No, not something. Oliver. She had to find Oliver.

There were voices around her, she could tell, whispers and cries and screams. But she didn’t listen to them, she couldn’t. All she could focus on was one single thought, one single word that meant more than anything else.

_Oliver, Oliver, Oliver._

And then, the metaphysical water stopped just pushing her around aimlessly. It didn’t exactly calm down. On the contrary; it got stronger, fiercer, but now it followed a path, like a river. And Felicity swimmed along.

She wasn’t sure how long it has been when the weightless sensation in her disappeared and she started… not exactly falling, but rather being pulled down. Like gravity very delicately grabbed her and put her back on Earth.

Only when she was steadily standing on solid ground, no sea and no whispers and a warm light showering her, she dared to open her eyes and look around…

An office?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need you to know that I spent hours and hours and hours reading to make this as much comic accurate as possible. Like, it’s 95% references. I kinda improvised at the end to make it work the way I wanted it, though. I hope it worked out. (But even if it didn’t, I still did more than the Arrow writers ever did🙈)  
> Also, yes, I spent way too much time writing from baby Sara’s perspective because it was so fun. I hope you loved her and JJ as much as I did.  
> Let me know if you liked it! And thank you so much for reading and waiting for me to get my shit together! Love you all!


	9. Time in the afterlife and a lifetime after

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Against all odds, Felicity’s original plan works out and leads the way back home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...  
> Anyone still here? If you are, hi there, I’m sorry it took me so long.  
> Moving on, did I mention before that this is, technically, the last chapter, and the next is the epilogue? So exciting... I think?  
> (Also, shoutout to Léana for the help and reassurance with this one. Love ya, girl).  
> Well, enjoy!

Felicity’s initial thought as she first inspected the room was that the afterlife should hire a new interior designer.

The second was that maybe she and Diggle should have stopped and asked for indications on the way there because they definitely got the wrong location. Otherwise, what the hell (which she better not be in) was she doing there?

Sure enough, she knew where she was, but it made absolutely no sense to her, and everything just felt out of place —although it wasn’t, not in the literal sense, because everything was exactly like she remembered and there was no actual evidence of something being wrong. It just felt  _ off _ .

Starting with the fact that she didn’t instantly want to run out of there. In fact, everything seemed to be meticulously designed to made her feel warm and safe, instead of conveying the hollow and sort of intimidating vibe it used to —it always was her boss’ office after all, which isn’t exactly anyone’s favorite place. That kind of made her think that maybe that was where she was supposed to be, so she gave her a shot. 

She started to wander around, carefully looking at every little detail she could notice, and her feeling of belonging only grew stronger. 

(Everything was about the details with Oliver; it always has been).

She moved to the desk. At first sight, it was… well, just a desk. Organized as it always had been, just like in every vague memory she had of it. Probably very similar to every other CEO’s desk...

But there, small and seemingly insignificant, carelessly placed at the edge of the surface as if was about to fall off, was a red pen.  _ Her _ red pen, she was sure; it was almost irrational to think so, but she was way past believing in coincidences, and she couldn’t afford have the luxury of dismissing anything that gave her hope. She was, after all, somewhere in heaven… or so she hoped.

She cradled it close to her heart for a moment, as she let her thoughts drift slightly away, to the wonders of associative memory. How physiological processes and neuroanatomical structures made it possible that the moment she saw this simple, ordinary object, she would be brought back to one specific day —the day her entire universe changed.

Something else caught her attention then and she smiled for a moment before bringing the pen to her mouth.

(Unconsciously, of course, as usual. Just because she knew that putting it down was the most practical and hygienic thing to do if she needed to hold something else, it didn’t mean her mind accepted leaving the habit as a viable option).

Ugh, that picture. Right now, she couldn’t begin to comprehend why she once found that picture of Oliver even remotely attractive. Maybe it was the fact that the man in the picture was hardly similar to the one she fell in love with, or maybe just that thinking bad things about someone who was supposed to be dead would’ve been inappropriate. In any case, that picture was awful. But she couldn’t help but feel warm at the sight of it. 

He was so young, so clearly annoyed for being forced to take a photo with his dad, his stance and expression making him as unattractive as someone attractive could be, but he was also so… free. For the worst in many ways, that for sure. But it was that obvious lack of pain and burdens that was almost refreshing to Felicity. 

“Hi.”

Her heart skipped a beat, but she wasn’t startled; it was as if the whole place made it physically impossible for her to experience any negative sensation. Surprised, maybe, even though the sole purpose of the whole interdimensional trip was finding  _ him. _

_ Him,  _ now standing just a few meters from her, looking at her with an adoring smile that made her heart perform some kind of complicated aerial maneuver inside her chest.

“Glad you could make it.”

It took Felicity a moment to react —no, she took a moment before reacting, to fully appreciate him. He looked… angelic. Content, in a way he was barely seen by anyone but her and their children, and even then it was fleeting. He radiated the same peace and calm the whole office did (which made sense, but still not fully). It made her want to cry.

And as she rounded the desk and walked to him —slowly at first, then faster, for the distance all but ached the closer she got—, she did. Tears were already running down her cheeks when she reached him. 

Their lips met for a few seconds, just a short kiss that managed to convey something between ‘I missed you’ and ‘Thank god, I really didn’t get lost in space and time’, and then they hugged, embraced each other as though as they had been apart for 20 years instead of a few months. 

Part of Felicity couldn’t believe he was actually there, even when she never accepted that he was gone. She knew she would make things right, somehow, but she fought that certainty so hard to protect herself that it felt  _ wild.  _ Oliver was right there, holding her, sighing happily as she buried her face on his shoulder.  _ Alive. _

Well, sort of. Probably? She still wasn’t sure. Was he actually alive all along, or were they both dead? She sure hoped she wasn’t dead, because that was just… depressing. Although it would be a good story to tell her grandkids. That if Will changed his mind about it, or Mia— Okay, that was definitely a thought she shouldn’t have, considering her actual present children were still very,  _ very _ little. 

God, time travel was doing weird things to her brain.

She squeezed her eyes shut to dismiss the thought and pulled away from Oliver, just a little. Logically, she knew she would have to let go of him and break physical contact, eventually, but just… not any time soon. First, she had to make sure this was really, really happening, and that he was really, really,  _ really _ there, and that required touching and a tad of looking into his eyes for as long as possible. 

Her hands fluttered over his face and neck in a frantic, shaky caress, then ran down his shoulders and chest, firm and warm and very much real. A sob escaped her lips before she managed to finally speak.

“This is so nice,” she said, her voice husky with emotion. “And not to complain, I just… thought that the afterlife would look a little less like an office. You know, maybe some rainbows and clouds and the dog you had when you were a kid welcoming you.”

Oliver chuckled softly. “It’s actually my mom’s office. Heaven is different to everyone. Some see a beautiful landscape, and most meet their lost ones, because that’s what It is for them. It’s what brings them the peace their souls long.”

“And yours find peace in… your mother’s office?”

“Well… Yes, but... I actually  _ wanted _ to be here, where I first saw you.”

Felicity squinted. “Honey..., I think your soul’s a little confused. That would be in the IT department, seven floors down.”

“You sure?”

As she wondered what the actual fuck that even meant, Oliver’s gaze unfocused slightly as he remembered. Her voice, unknown then, but so full of life and vitality that brought back part of his own; the way she was so special, such a vibrant force, that even then, even before she even began to make her way into his heart and without the tiniest effort, she made him  _ feel _ . He couldn’t have known it then, but it was obvious that he had been waiting for her. Dying made it clearer. His past, everything that ever happened, it all lead to that: not righting his father’s wrongs, not becoming a hero, not saving the multiverse, but  _ that _ moment. Waiting for her, finding her.

(This last time, though, he was aware of that ultimate goal. It was what made leaving so easy and peaceful: he knew she would come for him).

Felicity tilted her head to get back his attention, hoping to get for once something more than a vague and useless answer.

“It’s… a long story,” he finally said. Then, he held a hand out to her. “Lucky for us, we have a whole lifetime for me to tell it to you.”

Her eyes went to his face to his hand and back to his face, like she didn’t understand what he was saying. Or, at least, didn’t believe it.

“We’re going home,” she said as she interlaced their fingers together. The slight disbelieving tone made it more of a question.

Oliver grimaced. “I mean, we could stay here, technically, but I think we’d get bored very soon.”

“Oh, no, yeah, definitely. That would be a terrible decision, very counterproductive. I just meant… We’re actually going  _ home _ .”

At that, he smiled softly. “Yes. We are.”

He guided her near the window and, for what could’ve been just a fleeting instant or a whole eternity, they just stared at the world outside. That warm, beautiful, carefully designed world, that looked just like theirs, but wasn’t. Felicity didn’t know if the peace she felt inside was due to the sun shining so perfectly bright, or having her husband next to her, or the knowledge that they were going home together, but it didn’t matter. She just took a deep breath and enjoyed the feeling. 

And then, when she closed her eyes and was dragged from the warmth into the scary green ocean, she didn’t struggle. She didn’t even try to find the right way, didn’t need to; she was still holding Oliver’s hand, kind of, and she could swear she was still holding John’s as well, and she knew exactly where they were going. Sure enough, the feeling of her soul —or whatever— traveling through dimensions was not any less upsetting and she probably would’ve thrown up if she’d been in her physical body, but it wasn’t as terrifying as it was before.

It took her a few seconds to get rid of the nauseous feeling once they stopped whirling, but even then, she was dizzy. They were back, she knew, safely standing on the back of the Queen mansion, but something was… different. Not with the place, but her.

She couldn’t have described it if she tried, but a thought tickled in the back of her mind; a thought that wasn’t there before, but wasn’t completely foreign, either. Like a dream she just woke up from but couldn’t quite remember at first. Only when she opened her eyes and met Oliver’s in front of her, she saw the realization —his and her own— written in them, it truly hit her, all at once.

_ “You will remember, once you make it back from where it started.” _

Felicity guessed that had to be what people meant when they said their life flashed before their eyes. Only this wasn’t her  _ past _ life, this wasn’t exactly  _ her _ life at all, but one that could have been… or was going to be, if she had not done something about it. 

The memories started not long ago, just before she checked the footage from the bunker and catched the two strangers that looked suspiciously familiar hanging out with Oliver, and it unraveled into a dark, lonely future. Almost all of them were of Mia. Many little things that brought her joy, that she would get to see experience again for the first time —her first steps, her first words, the first time she solved a Rubix cube all on her own—, and others that she was glad she wouldn’t have to —the first time she asked why she didn’t have a dad, the first time she yelled at her because she didn’t go to school like other kids—. Most memories of William were through photos and videos, or simply thoughts, and they were filled with a lot of sadness and regret. The first actual memory she had of them together wasn’t much different of the ones she already had, but it conveyed many extra unpleasant emotions. The one thing all had in common was the feeling of melancholy, of something missing.

That, until the last memory, of course. One that she was certain would keep her up at night. Because, the feeling of seeing Oliver for the first time in twenty years? That was not something she could get over easily. Not to even mention the prospect of leaving her children behind to then  _ send them _ behind.

“Holy shit,” she said, hardly a few seconds later, once the wave of images stopped and settled as a distant part of her long-term memory.

Next to her, Oliver let out a breathless chuckle. “I told you it was a good idea.”

For him, the memories had a whole different perspective, fairly similar to the one he had as the Spectre: he watched it all from distance, both spatial and mentally, isolated from any kind of actual emotion, any kind of humanity. 

Until he heard her voice again, and everything came back as harshly as the images of life he didn’t live just now.

(In reality, it wasn’t nearly as devastating as it could have, for both of them. After all, one had become an omniscient god-like creature and the other had read a book written in time itself. But still, getting a whole life worth of memories all that were technically theirs but they never really experienced was no walk in the park for anyone).

She stumbled forward, into his arms, and he held onto her like his life depended on her (and it did. Always did). 

“It worked,” she whispered. “It really worked.”

“Of course it did.”

After a moment, she pulled away and turned to see the two men standing behind them. John looked as if he was going to pass out at any moment, while Hal looked somehow proud and very uncomfortable.

“Well, I’ll be damned,” Diggle said, then went and hugged Oliver. 

“Thank you,” the archer said.

“Thank  _ me _ ? Are you kidding? You  _ saved  _ everything! And… Sara…” He sighed. “It was the least I could do, man.”

“Still, you took a pretty big risk.”

“Well, yeah, but I didn’t have much of a choice. Your wife is very stubborn.”

Felicity hit his shoulder. “Hey!”

Dig laughed and pulled her into the embrace as well. They stayed like that for a long moment, just holding each other. It had been a while since they got to just… exist freely. No threats, no grief, no heartbreaking goodbyes. Just the three of them together, they way it was since the start. The way it was supposed to be.

It felt just right.

“Uh, so, this is getting awkward for me,” Hal broke into the moment. “Should I come back later or just…?”

With a snort, Oliver pulled away and turned to him. “Thank you, Hal.”

“No problem, pal. You’ve– you’ve done a lot for the multiverse and… Well, for me, in a way. You deserve a chance to live for once.”

Oliver smiled softly and held out his hand to him. The other man looked at it, then shook his head and wrapped him with his arms. “Nah, nah, nah, everyone else got one of these, come on. I never get to do this with the you from my Earth, I’ve earned it.”

“So, he’s cranky on every universe,” Felicity snorted. “Shocking.”

Once released from Hal’s grip —a few minutes later, for her amusement—, her husband went directly back to her, like a child hiding from an annoying and touchy relative. She giggled, but helped herself from commenting on it.

“So, what now?” He asked softly.

“Ooh! You think we could find the Monitor and punch him in the face for doubting us?”

He scrunched his nose and laughed. “Yeah, maybe later?”

She pursed her lips into a pout, then sighed dramatically. “Fine. Let’s go home, then.”

* * *

“Have you heard anything about Mom?”

William, sitting on one of the armchairs on the living room, let out a wary sigh and glared at his younger counterpart. 

The boy was lying down on his stomach on the floor, facing his baby sister, who was far more interested in the shapes and colors of the playmat she was on than the toy he was offering to her. Fidgeting with the textured bunny helped a little to calm his nerves, though, so he didn’t put much effort into getting her attention.

“For the fiftieth time in the last hour: no,” older Will said. “Seriously, I don’t remember being this annoying as a kid.”

His younger self didn’t miss a beat to retort, “Then I’ll clearly lose self-awareness with time.”

From the couch —more specifically, one of its armrests, not the fully available spot one was supposed to sit on—, an adult Mia snorted. “Ohh, self-burn has never been so literal.”

“That’s not literal,” her big brother argued. “It would be literal if he had actually burned me, with actual fire.”

“Oh, shut up.”

She grabbed a pacifier from the coffee table and tossed it directly to his head. Baby Mia let out a loud giggle at the man’s “ouch!”, and her bigger self smiled proudly.

“Little you is right, though,” she said to him then. “It’s getting late and we have no idea where she is, I think I should—“

“No. You’re staying here, I’m not letting you off my sight. Mom’s fine, she can handle herself.”

“But—“

The teenager interrupted her argument. “Hey, I’m not ‘little me’. You guys are from the future, so, technically,  _ he _ is ‘big me’.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “ _ Technically _ , be quiet, kiddo.”

“That makes no sense.”

“Oh, you really  _ are _ more annoying as a kid.”

“Yeah, well, I definitely like you better as a baby.”

“You just wait until—“

“Oh, for heaven’s sake,” Nyssa’s voice resonated from the kitchen. “If you don’t stop that right now, I will tie you all up and muzzle you with onions.”

There was a general sulked mumble in response, but nobody argued. 

Nyssa didn’t really have a solid excuse for being there. Sure enough, she had promised to Felicity that she would keep an eye open, just in case something that required an extra set of fighting skills happened (which, all things considered, was a fair concern), but, technically, there was no need for her to be  _ there _ . She didn’t even have any kind of hunch that danger was to approach, and her instincts were correct most if not all the time. But she was bored, so she figured, why not go there and entertain herself with that fascinating, dysfunctional set of humans?

(That was all it was, obviously. Boredom. It had nothing to do with her having developed an emotional bond with the children or anything of the sort, or enjoying being around them. And she sure was not being overprotective whatsoever. That would have been absurd).

After a failed attempt of staying still for longer than five minutes, Mia jumped from her seat and insisted, “William, she might be in danger.” Her brother gave her an unimpressed look. “She might! I mean, what kind of ‘errands’ take half a day?”

“Okay, first of all, lots of them,” he said. “Second, it’s barely been a few hours—”

“Five!”

“That is very certainly  _ not _ half a day.”

“But—“

“And  _ third _ ,” William stood as well and placed his hands on Mia’s shoulders, “she’s a grown woman. She can take care of herself.”

“Come on, she’s younger than  _ you _ .”

He gaped, offended by the implications of her statement. “ _ I _ can take very good care of myself, thank you very much.”

“Yeah, right,” the woman laughed.

“Well, he’s old and still alive,” younger Will pointed out. “I’d say he’s good.”

“Oh, so, the bar is on the floor.”

“I am  _ not _ old,” the man chided himself.

“Hey, I’m on your side here.”

“Of course you are! My side is your side!”

“Yeah! So?”

“I’m not old.”

Mia rolled her eyes and opened her mouth to add a snarky comment that was meant to either finish the argument or (and this was most likely) start a new one, but the security system alert cut her off. 

Out of the five people in the house, only her and her younger older brother reacted accordingly to the specific sound —with anticipation rather than caution—, for they were the most familiarized with the wide gamma of different alarms. Nyssa didn’t instantly jump to her feet, though, just stood at a regular speed, which meant she also recognized the meaning of the alarm but didn’t  _ fully _ trust it.

The girl made it to a window before William could even pick up his tablet to watch the camera footage, and she gasped and turned to look at him before he had time to react. “Oh my god. William!”

It was his smaller self that answered first, not really knowing what was happening but hyped up anyway. “What? What is it?”

“Come see, get up!” Mia prompted, rushing to his side. Almost frenetically, she pulled him off the floor, picked up the baby and placed her in his arms, then pushed him to the front door. It took the other Will another second to respond and follow.

As exciting as the sight of both of his parents was, William’s first reaction wasn’t to run and hug them. Mostly, because he was not sure he could run while carrying Mia safely, and he was not about to figure it out right now. But also because there was something on his father’s expression that told him he needed a moment before getting to the hug part without breaking down.

Oliver had actually dreamt about the moment William and Mia met. Being away, he would dream of his son playing with his sister, carrying her around all day the same way he did with Thea when they were little. Then, they —their older versions— showed up, and those dreams were crushed, along with his heart. But then, seeing them interact, have the kind of bond he imagined they would, even when they weren’t raised together, it made him feel slightly better, but he still hoped things would be different. And that was what he fought for, what he died for. 

And yet, nothing really prepared him for the astonishment of seeing them —their small versions— together for the first time. Something about the way the boy held his baby sister, so naturally, as if he’d been doing so his whole life, brought tears to his eyes on the spot. 

At his side, Felicity shook his arm gently to make him start walking again. When they were closer to the cabin, Will closed the distance between them and threw himself and Mia (very, very carefully) into their father’s arms.

“Dad…”

“Hey, buddy,” Oliver managed to mutter, embracing them both. 

He didn’t say a word, he couldn’t; nothing seemed enough to describe what he felt at the moment. So he just held his whole world tightly for a long time, until the feeling that any second then he would wake up and that would turn out to be just another dream started to fade away. Just then, he pulled apart just enough to look at his son.

“Look at you,” he said. “You’ve grown so much, I can’t believe it.”

“I missed you,” the boy said with a little voice.

“I missed you, too. So much. I-I-I’m sorry I had to— I’m tried to—“

William shook his head. “It’s okay, Dad. I know.”

Oliver smiled softly and nodded. He tilted his head to take a better look at Mia, who opened her eyes widely with recognition and gargled. “Hey, you. I missed  _ you _ , too.” 

A few steps from them, older versions of the pair hugged their mother.

“You really did it,” Mia whispered, her voice broken. 

“Of course I did, I made a promise,” Felicity said, squeezing them tight. “Did you doubt me?”

“Never.”

“Yeah, right,” William cut her off, and he sounded a little strangled as well despite the mocking tone. “Five minutes ago I almost had to knock you out to keep you from chasing her.”

Mia scoffed. “Like you could ever do that.”

Felicity laughed. After a few seconds, she pulled away and they all turned to Oliver and the children.

It was just a bit weird when adult William and Mia walked past kid William and Mia to hug their dad, and the boy stepped back and turned to hug their mom instead. 

(Felicity was tempted to make a comment about trading her kids for a newer model, but decided not to ruin the emotional atmosphere and just wrapped the little ones with her arms).

At the end, everyone ended up squished into a single, just slightly awkward group-hug —even Nyssa, who had opted for taking her distance from the intimate moment but got dragged into it by Felicity.

(Nyssa also was tempted to make a comment about Oliver coming back just when all her courting Felicity was about to yield results, but thought it was kind of inappropriate so she just enjoyed the display of affection silently).

“You-you’re staying here now, right?” Younger William asked his father after a moment. “You don’t– you don’t have to go away again, right?”

“No, buddy, I don’t. I’m staying for good.”

“No more Green Arrow?”

“Nah. It’s kind of going out of style for me, you know? I think it’s time to make the position available for someone else… In a very distant future, of course.”

Next to him, his grownup daughter smiled proudly. 

“Plus, this Earth has enough heroes right now.”

“Oh, definitely more than enough,” Felicity agreed, making a face. “ _ So _ many weirdos.”

“So, what now?” The boy asked.

Oliver looked thoughtful for a few seconds, then smiled.

* * *

_ My name is Oliver Queen. For a long time, I’ve only had a few goals: to survive, to fulfill my father’s dying wish, to save my city, to protect my family. For that, I had to become someone else —something else. I had to become the hero I was meant to be, and make the ultimate sacrifice to save the ones I love and the entire multiverse. _

_ But now, I finally get to just be Oliver Queen again. _

_ I finally get to live my life.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Don’t forget to let me know what you thought! Love you all.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, was that as long as I think it was? Was it any good? I really hope it was. If you could tell me what you thought, I would be very grateful! Also, if you liked it and would want me to follow it up, please leave some comments here (or on my twitter, @ragnarokwn, go there, I’m nice most of the time), I need the validation to keep going. I have like, five fic ideas (and drafts) connected to this and I would love to share it if anyone is interested. 
> 
> Thank you for reading this far!
> 
> (Also, shoutout to my Namesake, for encouraging me and putting up with my shit. Love ya).


End file.
